When we met in 2004, my life was permanently changed. It was on a warm, spring evening and I had no idea how my world would be altered forever. You were draped around my first Shack burger and I thought, "Good God, he's tender." My friends acted as though you were nothing special, but I knew that I felt something between us. I found myself thinking about you long after that initial meeting. And not because of your well-regarded popularity at the time (I knew you had many admirers), but because I felt that you were the heart of that establishment.
Oh sure, I'd been with your type before that night - brioche, whole-wheat, ciabatta and even an English muffin or two. But none of them compared to you. I don't think you ever ventured into Canada, so maybe that's why it took so long for us to meet.
I had you on my mind for many a night after our first time. Then came the day when I first spotted you in a supermarket and was blown away that you were available. I hadn't know that I could take you home with me whenever I wanted. Do you have any idea how difficult it was not to devour you right there in that aisle? With everyone watching? I knew I had to leave you at once. For fear of my own well being.
Recently, I finally decided to take you home with me so I brought you home to meet Nathan for turkey burgers. He didn't care for you at first (since he's trying to steer clear of the likes of you), but he allowed you in our house and we actually had a lovely night together, the three of us. He only requests that we don't make it a habit. Once in awhile is all I can get him to agree to. And maybe it's for the best. I don't know. I honestly don't make good decisions around you, you know that.
I love you more than you'll ever know. And when the day comes that I find myself in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania - you can be damn sure to find me walking up Potato Roll Lane, screaming your name in lust.
(UPDATE: On August 30th, 2015, a dream came true.)