Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
“Want to make your tan look even darker? Paint your nails a fluorescent colour.”
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
“If a guy you’re dating constantly refers to it as only “hanging out” together - leave that giant baby immediately. Real men are out there who are way better and will admit to dating you.”
Lessons of the Week
This will be a short new segment entitled: Things I Learned This Week! They will consist of things that I did know of the week prior.
1. Eggplant parm? DELICIOUS. First time tried, no going back now. WAY less heart-hurting than a chicken parm, too - so that's something. Why didn't I ever try it before? Probably 'cause the word "eggplant" is so wretchedly unappetizing, just as a word.
2. Do you have weeds growing in that area between the cracks in your pavement? Boil hot water and then pour them down the cracks (do this AFTER you pull the weeds, obviously) and they’ll never grow back because of the scolding water.
3. Want to know how to take a screenshot of anything (on a MAC)? Press Command, then Shift, then 3. Voila. The picture is saved to your desktop. Makes a little camera clicking sound, too. This makes me want to look up all the other kinds of small, magical things that this laptop does that I have no idea about.
Mom Says
“If you forget something at home, do not turn back to fetch it, you will have bad luck for the rest of the day.”
“If you have an overnight guest staying with you, offer them a drink (regular or alcoholic) before they go in to take a shower. Someone did this once with me and it was a refreshing delight to be naked, clean and drinking something cold all at once. Just a delight.”
Mom Says
“Keeping tiny little frog figurines around your house will bring money into your home.”
“No shaving cream? Use conditioner! (This is directed at both men and women, by the by.)”
Mom Says
“Birthmarks on babies happen because the pregnant mother is craving a food that she didn’t get. Wherever she touches her body when she’s experiencing the craving is where the mark will appear on her unborn baby.”