“Keep dryer sheets in your running shoes when you’re not wearing them. And if you’re thinking, “I don’t need to do that, I don’t use my sneakers that much,” then you should probably *start* using those running shoes more since you’re not exercising enough.”
Mom Says
“If you want to up your fruit game, put a plum in the freezer for thirty minutes - then take it out and eat it. Can’t describe how magical this tastes.”
Orajel for Mosquito Bites
I think about this tweet maybe... once a week. Just love it.
Anyway, Pinterest/Buzzfeed/Tumblr have all been telling me for years to put Orajel onto my mosquito bites to make them stop itching. I finally tried it and - fuck. I've never found anything else that works like this stuff. Literally in a matter of seconds. I think it has something to do with the numbing ingredient in it - I don't know, let's not get technical. PLEASE carry this with you wherever there are mosquitoes looming near. This stuff is goddam magic.
Mom Says
“Never trust a person who openly says that they don’t like their parents.”
Mom Says
“Write something more than just “Happy Birthday” in cards. A joke, a compliment, a wish, ANYTHING.”