“The greatest advice I could give you is this: drizzle some honey over your next pizza. I swear to you, it will make you see God.”
Mom Says
“An acorn at the window will keep lightning out.”
“Don’t eat spicy things in the summer. No one wins.”
Mom Says
“It is extremely bad luck to chase someone with a broom.”
“Take a bath in the morning (preferably in a bathroom with a window). You’ll see.”
Mom Says
“If a mirror in the house falls and breaks by itself, someone in the house will die soon.”
“Don’t wear flip flops when you’re driving. It’s weird that everyone doesn’t know how dangerous that is.”
Mom Says
“A wish will come true if you make it while burning onions.”
“I know that I sometimes dress my dog up in people clothes (to be fair I’ve only done that when it’s cold out and/or when it’s Halloween), but when it comes to dog-safe nail polish - can we just STOP IT?”
Mom Says
“A dog howling at night when someone in the house is sick is a bad omen.”