Juice of the Day - Perfect Pineapple

This is a juice I just made. I got the recipe from The Big Book of Juices. It consists of one half of a full, hugeass pineapple and three kiwis. How the hell do you cut a kiwi so that the insides stay put but that brown skin fucks off? NO IDEA. What I got left over after attempting to de-skin that kiwi was almost laughably tiny. Nevertheless. THIS DRINK IS DELICIOUS. And when you taste it for the first time, you think, "Ohhhhhh. THIS is what pineapple is supposed to taste like," in a really positive way. Most pineapple juices have ludicrous amounts of sugar and all kinds of garbage in it to preserve it, so this was refreshing as ever. DRINK. (Also, the recipe from the book tells you to put eight tablespoons of pineapple juice in it as well - and that sounded dumb to me, so I omitted it.)

If you're looking for more juice recipes, I have only obtained one other great one so far, but give me some time. You'll get more.  

Juice of the Day - Creamy Pear

Why is this glass half empty? 'CAUSE I DRANK HALF OF IT IN IMPATIENCE before I found my camera.  

I just tried this juice for the first time today and you need to make it yourself. It's fucking unreal and delicious.  

Creamy Pear Recipe

• 3 pears
• 4 watermelon slices
• Handful of mint (if you want mint for free, I will mail you some. It's growing all up on the garden in my yard. Makes the air smell minty as fuck. Too minty.)

I got the recipe from The Big Book of Juices - and it's an especially good juice book 'cause the recipes usually have 1 - 4 ingredients per recipe (not like other, lesser books that have a million ingredients per recipe and contain such ingredients that are usually a billion dollars at the grocery store). They also have photos alongside most of the juices, which, of course, I enjoy. I did add more watermelon to this recipe since, well, using more watermelon gives you hella juice and I was thirsty. 

This is also the first pear juice I've tried and if you've somehow got no Peardrax around your house - then, pal, this is the juice for you.  

(Sidenote: Almost every single time I'm juicing, for at least a moment, I think of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer gets really buff by eating Powersauce bars. With every apple that goes into my juicer I think about "unleashing the awesome power of apples." Anyway, that has nothing to do with anything. Go juice.)

Banana Bread Beer

You know what I'm going to say. This guy really does taste like banana bread. I treat this as my dessert drink and it's wonderful. Thankfully, I have a specialty beer seller about twenty feet from my house that has this beer always in stock. But what are you supposed to do? Where are you gonna find it? Man. That's tough. I really have no idea. The only thing I can think to suggest is to keep an eye out for it when you find yourself in a place that sells specialty beers. Or if you live near Astoria (Queens), I can tell you exactly where to find it if you send me a message. 

Beers don't have to taste like beers, guys. Think bigger. If I were a teenager, this is for sure what I would've started drinking to ween myself onto regular beer. Must taste!