These were done by my friend Adele nine years ago and I still love them to death. There are so many more that I've kept, but I thought I'd just give you a taste. (Hope it's okay that I'm posting them, Adele - they're so perfect.)
“I think if I were to have any phrase tattooed on my body it would be: “I love you but...””
“Wouldn’t it be funny if the first time you gave birth - it turned out to be a hamburger? (And you turned to the nurse, exhausted, and asked for some ketchup.)”
My Dad
Look at that face. Look at it!
Look at that face. Look at it!
The kid in the middle? That's my Dad. His 90th birthday is today. He shot this ad in the early 1930s. This wasn't quite the beginning of his show business career since the hot lighting in the studio made him pass out in exhaustion - so this was his first and last ad. Lord love it, though.
Happy 90th Birthday, Dad. You're the greatest man I know and no one will ever hold a candle to you.
Karl Shirt
This is on a shirt that I own that was made for me by one of my lovely brothers Gary and his wife Amanda as a Christmas gift years ago.
Still one of the best shirts I own.
That's Right.
This is probably one of my top three things I'm most proud of.
Age 9, killing it.
Nieces
Maya (who's a year old) takes her diaper off and wont let me put it back on.
Me: "Ugh! Why won't she let me just put this on her? Why is this so difficult?! She must really just hate me."
Layla, six years old: "Mimi, she doesn't hate you. She's just a baby."
Fury of the Day - New York Post
I think I can sum up my hatred for the New York Post in two images:
If you don't know the story of that second cover, you can read about it here.
There aren't many words to describe how despicable this daily paper is, considering these are ACTUAL DAMN COVERS. I don't even love Hillary Clinton or anything, but are we serious here? The fact that such blatant sexism can pass as an acceptable tactic in getting more people to buy your trash? Wow. Sometimes I think women have come a really long way, and then I'll see something like that cover and just think, "Well. Fuck." The rage I felt at seeing that published still lingers inside me and is infuriating.
And that second cover? I understand that "newspapers" are supposed to cover current events. But at the same time, is there not an amount of sensitivity that should go right along with that idea? That man's fucking family had to see that cover - which is so beyond fucked. I didn't want to see that photo and I didn't even know him!
Just a lot of hate for the cretins who work at the New York Post. Absolute trash human beings.
Letter From Dad
This was the beginning of the latest letter from my dad. Maybe this isn't that funny, but it made me really laugh.
RE: Rats in Subway Stations
Me: "Do you think there are people who aren’t afraid of them?"
Marla: "I think if you’re not capable of screaming, then you’re an ally."