Tip of the Day - Romance

I strive to be a least 10% romantic with every person I care for in my life for the duration of each relationship. How did the idea of romance become pigeonholed and exclusively linked to sexual relationships? When did that happen? Has that always been the norm? And if it has, WHY has it? You're telling me that your friendships wouldn't benefit from a little romance? Romance doesn't have to have the undertones of sexual gratification, does it? No! I'm here to tell you that no, it does not.

How can you be romantic within your friendships? So many ways.

• I've been on the receiving (and giving) end of scrapbooks that have had lasting, romantic impressions which have span years.
• Decorative swan statues outposted on a front yard as part of surprising birthday declarations.
• Writing down funny things that someone says and keeping it somewhere so you don't forget.
• Impromptu road trips solely devoted to seeing Martha Stewart's home (and nearby jail) in upstate New York.
• Bringing your own wine and going to a pool with someone.
• Hiding small gifts in someone's house for them to find at a later date.
• Mailing someone a treat they've been missing from home.
• When someone visits you on vacation and not only lets you completely plan their daily activities, but also enjoys it.
• Insisting on someone taking a walk with you. (This doesn't seem special, but when someone insists on me taking a walk with them? I fucking swoon - it's so nice.)
• Private cooking lessons with a classically trained French chef in the storefronts of Paris.
• Sharing the most perfect post-steak nap after a beautiful dinner, thus wrecking the rest of your planned evening and not caring simultaneously.
• After a sad/ominous goodbye with someone, having someone run out into the middle of the street to grab you, turn you around and kiss you infront of waiting traffic.

If I'm boasting, that's a shame that you see it that way. I'm so proud and happy that all of those things above have either happened to me or I've done for someone. I only want that kind of romance to continue in my life. I'm only letting you know about it here as kind of a public announcement for you to be more romantic in your own life. Why? 'Cause I swear to God it'll make you happier. And of all of those points listed, only TWO of them were with Nathan - and that makes me so fucking glad that I get to have friends who make up the majority of romance in my life. And that isn't supposed to be a jab at him - I don't particularly care to list and describe the complete romantic goings-on of us since that isn't the point of this post. What I'm trying to get across to you is that romance isn't just for couples. We could all use some, so maybe you should get on that. 

Christmas Season Guff

Let's get one thing straight. I start Christmas on November 1st. I'M SORRY. I happen to have some valid reasons, too, so shut up and hear me out.

1. Winter is long and cold, agreed. So doesn't it make sense to make the most of the holidays for the maximum amount of time (ie. November 1st - December 25th) since, well, come January 1st we, as a human race, have NOTHING to look forward to until SPRING?! THREE MONTHS OF GARBAGE WEATHER WITH NOTHING FUN IN SIGHT?! Can't I bask in a loving, warm, Christmas-y feeling for the maximum amount that should be socially acceptable by now?
2. Christmas is (and should) be mostly about giving. Is it not too early to put a little bit of extra thought into whatever you're giving people as gifts? You need that extra time! You need that November time.
3. I'm Canadian and we already had our Thanksgiving, so our next holiday technically is CHRISTMAS. It's the next one on our horizon! Deal with it. I'm putting up lights, bitch.
4. So you're telling me you'd say no to a Christmas cookie that was served to you in November? Yeah, right. You're gonna eat that damn cookie and we both know it.

Let me also get another thing clear, I do not pump any sort of Christmas music this early because, personally, I'm not the biggest fan of Christmas music all the time. However there's no need to be so utterly hate-filled when you're out and about and you happen to hear it. Get out of the streets/stores/world if you hate it so much! Online shop! 'Cause it's Christmastime, baby. And the music is gonna blare. 

And no, I haven't put up my Christmas tree yet. Nathan said it's "too early". My Dad would say the same thing to me every November 1st. One day, dammit. One day I'll show these men how things need to get done.

Anyway, my point here? LET ME START CHRISTMAS WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR GUFF, please.

Happy Halloween!

Tina Belcher! Maybe you're not as impressed with this one as you were with last year's or the year before, but screw you (!) 'cause I love it. And if you're wondering, yes - that is Nathan's butt up there. He didn't even pry and ask me why I wanted to take a photo of it, he just said okay - isn't that a nice trait to have in a man? The no-questions-asked trait? I'm into it. The trait and the butt.

Anyhow, I hope your Halloween is the best. Eat candy! Watch something scary! Celebrate, dammit! Y'aint better than Halloween.

Downey's Farm in Caledon, Ontario

I've been going to this farm for twenty years and I doubt I'll ever stop. 

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Tianna & Layla

In recent years, they've added on a lot of things so there's an admission of $14 per person on weekends and $7 per person on weekdays, which isn't that crazy considering the farm's closed most of the colder months. 

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Yes, there are goats, too.

And there's an area where you can build your own scarecrow. And I don't know what kind of hay they use here, but I built one with my dad about fifteen years ago, so let's just say that it definitely holds up over time.

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Layla, after going to the face painting area.

But the main reason to go here? These pumpkin donuts.

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Pumpkin donut, dammit.

Even thought 100% of the people who I let have a bite of this said, "This doesn't taste like pumpkin" - I still maintain that it DOES. Also, it's one of the best donuts I've had. Maybe 'cause they make it at the farm? Maybe all the sugar on it? I don't know, I'm not a scientist. EAT THIS DONUT! They're seventy-five bloody cents, so I recommend getting a dozen.

This is the only place to be come October. Take your family!

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Gary & Camden

You can find more details here.

Martha Stewart Bedding Collection

This is the autumn/winter bedspread I just bought for my bed from Macy's. I was going to show you a picture of how it looks on my bed, but I'm not sure I'd want you to see my bed since beds are so terribly personal. Instead here's what the gorgeous print looks like up close.

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It's a flannel duvet cover that was on sale for $70 that apparently I couldn't live without. And honestly, after having slept in it the past few days, it's one of my favourite things in this house now. It's more comfortable than anything I've ever slept in, it's weird - I feel like it's almost a hotel bed. 

I'm not a fan of how duvets feel (and I don't own one), so instead I bought this flannel duvet cover so that I could put my regular old comforter inside. That way I have a beautiful, warm new cover, but with the comfort of my old, I'm-sick-of-its-pattern comforter inside hiding. I swear to God it works just as well as with any duvet. I hate even writing "duvet" - such a stupid word. Almost like it knows it's expensive.

Anyhow, if you don't have a duvet or don't like them, then please try out this idea. Duvet covers can be costly, but if you look hard enough you can find a great one (or even better, a flannel one) for between $60 - $80.

Fury of the Day - Servers Who Post Bad Tips Online

You can go right to hell if you've ever:

1. Posted a receipt showing a bad tip online.
2. Criticized a stranger's tip decision.

When that whole LeSean McCoy tipping story came out, I lost my mind for a minute. Not because he's on my fantasy football team, but because WE DON'T FUCKING KNOW THIS MAN and he should be able to tip or not tip whatever the fuck he wants since it's HIS MONEY. It's no one's fucking business what a person tips! 

We act as though waiters are the lowest forms of employment and we need to make sure they're tipped appropriately for the rest of time, no matter what the service is like. What the hell is with that? How did that become the norm?

I understand that a lot of waiters live off of their tips and obviously that's part of the problem. There's an article I love that goes into this more that I completely agree with and you can find here. 

It makes me so happy to know that a lot of these assholes posting these receipts online get fired. So fucking happy. 

When A Man Loves A Woman - Percy Sledge

This is not only the best version of this song you'll ever hear, but it's one I hold quite dear to my heart. The first time I'd ever heard it was when it played in the fairground at night at the CNE on one of the last dates me and Nathan had when we lived in Toronto (and Mississauga). It was playing over the loud speakers with the noise of the rides in the background and he kissed my forehead as we started to walk back to the car. He'll definitely have forgotten about it since it was such a nothing moment, but I'll  always remember how great this song is.

If I'm being too sentimental, screw you! My blog, baby. My thoughts. 

In Defense of Marriage

I was originally going to post this as "Fury of the Day - Stop Asking Me Why I'm Not Married Yet" but quickly realized that's an overly negative way to talk about what I'm actually trying to say here. I'm gonna do a Q&A type thing ahead so turn away if disgusted.

Why do I feel the need to talk at such length about marriage? I feel like the majority of men I've dated have never expressed any interest in marriage (whether that was specific to a marriage to me or in general, I'm not sure, but the opinion is still relevant here). Other than being the biggest cliché of all time, I've become desensitized to hearing that thought. Personally I have never had the idea that I need to be married, ever. I've always seen it as kind of an ambitious dream, similar to winning the lottery or something. Maybe that's a naive thing to say. Anyway, my point is that I think it's as silly to say "I will never marry" as it is to say "I will be married someday."

Why should marriage be considered important (other than legal reasons) and why would anyone want to do it? The worst answers I've ever heard to this question have been "security" or "commitment." I don't care what any piece of paper says, there isn't a document in existence that can secure someone's devotion to you. The best answer I can think of to possibly want to marry someone would be because I would want to declare to the world that I love this person and I'm going to work my ass off to keep that love going. That's it. I think that might be the most romantic declaration that someone could make. It's so bold and full of faith, I think that's what marriage should be about. (Keep in mind that I know nothing of the matter since I'm not married.) And if you're reading this thinking, "This woman has no fucking idea what marriage is about." You're right! I don't! I only have my lofty ideas, which I think is probably a good thing.

Is it weird that people have such strong opinions about something they've never experienced? Absolutely. I feel just as much weirdness about someone who says they have to get married as compared with someone who absolutely knows they never want it. Both sides are such strange reactions to a completely alien topic. If you haven't done it, you know shit about it. How can you have such a strong opinion? Is it 'cause of your parents? You ain't them! And also, I'd love to hear the reasons why people would want it so badly or why they're so repulsed by the idea of it. I feel like if you're on either sides of those fences, you must have purely stereotypical reasons of what you think marriage is, which makes me (condescendingly) feel sorry for you.

If you believe in marriage, does that mean you have to be anti-divorce? God, I hope not. My parents have been together for almost forty years but that wouldn't have happened if my dad hadn't gone through two divorces before my mom came into the picture. I have to believe in divorce! I'm not saying that I would enter a marriage and expect a divorce, I'm not a maniac, but to be so naive in thinking you're amongst the few who exhibit equal parts hard work and luck? C'mon. Divorce is a reality. I understand now that your parents marriage does not dictate your own personal life. It's taken me a long time to actually believe that statement because growing up with parents who were in love made me think that it came so easily. It makes just as much sense to me why people who didn't experience my childhood have their own overtly negative views on it. But again, that doesn't determine your own choices and future.

Is it normal to get married and not say "forever" in your vows? I really fucking hope so. Instead can't someone just say, "I promise to love you to the fullest for as long as a time I'm given - but that's it. I can't promise your love to me, though. That's your choice. And if some day your love for me vanishes, I will leave you. I want that love. And I will find it from someone else." Is that too harsh for a vow? I feel like it is, but man it's all I could offer.

Are weddings the best? Yes. And I'm not saying this because all women want to get married. If anything, I hope you've never had that thought (otherwise: yikes). I will forever love weddings 'cause they're positive as hell. There's so much fucking optimism and love in that room, you can feel it. No matter what happens, in that moment - that day is fantastic. Even when I was single, I loved weddings. It's a celebration of a kind of faith in something that I've rarely ever felt, how could that not be a fun time? God, I love them.

This is way too long a post for someone who's never been married to be talking about marriage, so I'll stop. I just wish people could be a lot cooler about the subject. I think it's so strange that we're all supposed to have such great knowledge and strong opinions on a topic that we'll never really have any insight on until at least we're in our early eighties or something. 

Juicing

I know that I've mentioned my juicing to you once or twice before, but it's absolutely insane that I haven't done a post yet begging you to start juicing. I'm equally shocked and annoyed that I'm only writing this now. EVERYONE SHOULD OWN A JUICER.

I started making juices about a year and a half ago and there's no going back. Sure, I'll go through phases where I'll have one juice every two weeks. But there are definitely other times where you can't stop my juicing, and it'll happen at least six or seven times in one week. 

Facts About Juicing

1. You will never become bored with it since there are EONS of different things you can make.
2. Whatever you're feeling - there's a juice for that. Tired? Sick? Skin issues? THERE'S A JUICE FOR EVERYTHING. Just Google it! You'll find so many options that (I SWEAR TO GOD) will help your mood/affliction.
3. You'll rely less and less on coffee when you start having juices. Also, everyone needs to get off coffee. (Coffee Crisp on the other hand? That needs to become available outside of Canada already. The world needs to experience this perfect chocolate bar.)
4. You instantly become better than your friends who aren't juicing.

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It even makes you more attractive.

Now when it comes down to choosing what juicer to buy? I've only owned two kinds and they're both great. The Breville was obviously better since it was more expensive and heartier, but the Jack LaLanne one? Sturdy as hell. JUST GET ONE, I DON'T CARE WHAT BRAND.

I post the juices that I intend to try over on this Pinterest board of mine, incase you're looking for something new. Oh! And if you haven't seen this movie yet, get on that immediately (I'm pretty sure it's on Netflix now, too).

(And if you think it's abnormal to still pine after a chocolate bar whilst blabbering on about how we all need to be healthier, well, you can go right to hell. It is my decision to better my life with juicing just as strongly as it is my decision to devour any Coffee Crisp in my line of sight, damnit.)

Grandma's Predictions Booth at Coney Island

Every time I go to Coney Island, I make sure to visit this robot grandma. For twenty-five cents, she'll give you a card that gives you some hints about your future. I've been going to see her for years and I highly suggest you visit her the next time you're there since she can be eerily accurate. (She even has a Twitter account, which seems weird.)

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Harmeet and I, living it up

She's located just beside The Wonder Wheel, so just walk down this hill (below) to find her.

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Harmeet, coning it up

It was at this booth that I received this card (below), five years and a month ago, and I still carry it around in my wallet.

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Front

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Back

Other than it being kind of a harsh (but true) card, I got this card two weeks before I started talking to Nathan. And whether you choose to believe me or not (I will understand if you can't, but I swear to God it's true), I rediscovered this card (months later) wrapped in a Nathan's (the hot dog place in Coney Island) napkin from the day that I went.

I'm not saying that this grandma knows everything, but she knows a shit ton more than you. Definitely go see her if you can.

Also, these past five years have been some of the best times I've ever shared with another person and I'm thankful as hell to have you in my life, Nathan. Happy Fifth Anniversary, b.