Brooklyn Cyclones Hosting A Seinfeld Night on July 5th

Why is this happening? 'Cause dreams do come true. I've been wanting to go to a Cyclones game for years, so this couldn't be a more perfect one to go to. 

"On July 5, 1989, Seinfeld aired on NBC for the first time and 25 years later, the Cyclones will celebrate the show that has left an indelible mark on popular culture. The first 2,500 fans in attendance will receive a Keith Hernandez "Magic Loogie" Bobblehead.  In addition, there will be non-stop Seinfeld themed entertainment from beginning to end. Yada yada yada... you'll have an awesome night." brooklyncyclones.com

What kinds of things?

• MCU Park will be known as Vandelay Industries Park for one night only
• Mailmen in uniform get to throw out a ceremonial first pitch
• Anyone who has a business card indicating that they are in fact a "Latex Salesman" will also receive a free ticket to the game.  If we call the number and it's some apartment on the Upper East Side, you won't qualify for the freebie. 
• Fans can visit the information table for an "airing of grievances"
• Closest to the pin / whale's blow hole competition
• The foul poles will be known as Festivus Poles
• "Low-Talking" PA Announcer
• Elaine Dancing Contest
• Everyone Runs the Bases Post-game (but anyone named Jerry gets a head start)
• Game of "Risk" on the Concourse
• Cereal eating contests
• Anyone named George Costanza will be allowed to join our radio broadcast as a color analyst for an inning
• Players in puffy shirts for batting practice

You probably should get your tickets early, as this night is surely to be one of the most popular of the 2014 season. Single game tickets will go on sale Saturday, May 10th at 10AM.  But if you follow the Cyclones on Facebook or Twitter, you will get access to a special pre-sale before the general public.  For more information please call 718-37-BKLYN.

Honestly, the "Low-Talking PA Announcer" is maybe the best idea in the world. SO EXCITED FOR THIS.

Banana Republic's Mad Men Jewelry Collection

Unfortunately, the final season of Mad Men (which returns April 13) won't have a collaboration collection with Banana Republic this year. Why? This world is cruel and unfair. 

Granted, I wasn't a huge fan of the clothing line - but the jewelry? Good God, it was gorgeous. Every. Single. Piece. Items like these:

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Look at those clasps!

I emailed their customer service department about the collection and got this as a response:

Hello Liz,
Thank you for your inquiry! We are truly happy to have such loyal and enthusiastic customers like yourself. We do apologize as we do not have any information about a new Mad Men Collection coming out again. We do our best to offer our customers top quality, fashionable merchandise, and we regret disappointing you. Customer feedback is an important part of our business and we will be sure to share your remarks with our design and merchandising teams, Liz.
We appreciate your business and hope that you will continue to check out our latest fashions at bananarepublic.com.
If we may be of further assistance, please contact us at custserv@bananarepublic.com or by calling 1-888-BR-STYLE (1-888-277-8953).
Sincerely,
Shannon
Customer Service Consultant

I suppose there's nothing left to be done about it and I guess I'll just have to peruse eBay like some sap every now and then to see if there are any old items from the past two collections. But let the record show, I was PISSED when I found out about this. Okay, on with your day.

Final Scene in Six Feet Under

Note: If you didn't watch the series Six Feet Under, you will definitely not give a guff about the following post. And if you intend on ever watching the show, please don't read on.

This is definitely one of my favourites. Favourite what exactly? I don't know... moments in my life, I guess? Yeah, it was just a television show, I get that. But still. Is it sad that a scene from an HBO show is something I consider a "moment in my life"? Nope. Sorry, bud. It ain't sad, I assure you. You can file this video in the category of Surefire Things That Will Always Make Liz Cry. There are many things in that category, but this is definitely in the top three. 

Ed Helms' Goodbye on The Office

Okay, I realize I'm talking about an episode of a show that aired ten months ago, I REALIZE THIS. I'm bringing it up now, though, because I have continuously thought about this one particular moment from it off and on for the past ten months (which is definitely abnormal, but still shareable information). 

If you have Netflix, please just watch it on there. The quality is better and possibly more tear-inducing? The moment I'm referring to is from season nine of the American version of The Office, episode twenty-one ('Livin' The Dream') at thirty-three minutes into the episode. Even if you've never seen the show or even liked it or had ANY opinion on any sitcom ever made in the history of television - if this rendition of this song doesn't move you... I'm afraid you're dead inside. And I feel intense sorrow for you not being able to experience just how crazy nice this performance is. Even sober, I get teary just listening to it. Is it his voice? Is it the McLach? I DON'T KNOW. And I don't want to know. Beauty like this doesn't need to have an explanation.

If you don't have Netflix, I've attached it below (this version is actually pretty sweet) for you to see. Ed Helms, your voice is nuts and I want to marry you just so you'll sing to me at our wedding.

Seinfeld: The Complete Series - $59

In other Seinfeld news (I swear I'll eventually stop reporting about anything Seinfeld-related - no wait, I won't 'cause I RUN THIS BLOG), the entire series is available on DVD on Amazon right now for $59. FIFTY-NINE F-ING DOLLARS. Did you hear me? That is insane. If I didn't already own them all (and like a sap, I paid maybe... at least $40 PER season, years ago), then I would be all over this deal. 

You are not better than this deal. Also, what a good gift. 

UPDATE: As of February 8th, the price has now gone up to $99. Whose fault is that? Yours. For not buying it WHEN I TOLD YOU TO.

Bob's Burgers

If Bob's Burgers isn't one of the shows you're watching on television right now, you're making very silly decisions with your choices, bud.

Girls is BACK

Season three of Girls starts up on Sunday. Watch watch WATCH!

Twelve Gifts For The Seinfeld Fan

Okay, I know this gift list is not relevant to 2013. But let's choose to ignore that fact because there are definitely people who still re-watch/love this show and would really be into some of these gifts. Like what, you ask?

1. A chocolate (or cinnamon) babka. Available online through Greens Bakery or by making it yourself by Googling the recipe. 

2. The black and white cookie. Available in any New York bakery and the recipe can be found here.

3. The Real Kramer Reality Tour (three hours). Tickets available online for $37.50.

4. Actual muffin tops. Not hard to get, either make or buy them and then pop the tops.

5. The Original Soupman's retail soup. Available in grocery stores and online. 

6. Astonishing Tales Of The Sea book. Available online.

7. A book (or a book on tape) about Risk Management. Available online. 

8. Tropic of Capricorn or Tropic of Cancer books

9. A book of French impressionist art to put in your bathroom.

10. A book of War & Peace but with a self-made cover of “War, What Is It Good For?”. There's a tutorial on how to make your own book cover here. 

11. This photo in a frame. 

12. Festivus In A Box. Available online. 

BONUS PRINTOUT

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Of course there are tons of more ideas, but let's not go overboard here. The show did end fifteen years ago.

Sleep

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Love.

Roseanne "Stash From The Past" Episode

This Roseanne episode "Stash From The Past" is probably in the top three of their best episodes. Can't even describe how much the bathroom scene makes me laugh. Jackie is perfection.