“I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.”
When The Local News Is Filming In My Neighborhood
I gave this book to my thirteen year old niece and if I ever give this book as a gift to someone again, I’ll say the exact same thing on the front page. THE LAST CHAPTER IS SO UNNECESSARY. And maybe this is rude/bold/ignorant/silly of me to encourage, but this is my blog, not yours. So back off.
Why do I feel so strongly about this? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because,
“God, I wish you could have been there.”
is the greatest final line OF ALL TIME.
Best Sweet & Sour Chicken of Life
If you’ve ever ordered this at a restaurant and enjoyed it, you need this recipe in your life. Keep in mind, I don’t cook very often. My brother and his wife made this recently and I lost my mind, it’s so tasty. The recipe is here. Make it.
Just make it. It tastes better than any Chinese food takeout I’VE EVER HAD.
It’s dumb how great it is. Just dumb.
“If you’re making out with a woman who has some kind of clip in her hair and you’re intending to have sex with her, gently take that clip outta her hair. She will go insane. It is a very hot thing to do.”
Russell Baker - Commencement Speech
Here’s another excerpt of a commencement speech that I really liked:
“All right, let’s plunge right ahead into the dull part. That’s the part where the commencement speaker tells the graduates to go forth into the world, then gives advice on what to do when they get out there. This is a ridiculous waste of time. The graduates never take the advice, as I have learned from long experience. The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess. “
“Listen once in a while. It’s amazing what you can hear. On a hot summer day in the country you can hear the corn growing, the crack of a tin roof buckling under the power of the sun. In a real old-fashioned parlor silence so deep you can hear the dust settling on the velveteen settee, you might hear the footsteps of something sinister gaining on you, or a heart-stoppingly beautiful phrase from Mozart you haven’t heard since childhood, or the voice of somebody - now gone - whom you loved. Or sometime when you’re talking up a storm so brilliant, so charming that you can hardly believe how wonderful you are, pause just a moment and listen to yourself. It’s good for the soul to hear yourself as others hear you, and next time maybe, just maybe, you will not talk so much, so loudly, so brilliantly, so charmingly, so utterly shamefully foolishly.”
- Russell Baker, at Connecticut College in 1995
Valentine's Day
Dear People Who Think They’re Better Than Valentine’s Day,
Y’AINT.
Yes, this day encourages people to be nice to other people. Yes, people shouldn’t need these specific days to FORCE someone they care for to do something nice for them, because yes they should do those things on any old day of the week/month/whatever. But you see, the thing is – NOBODY DOES NICE THINGS ON ANY OLD DAY. That isn’t how it works. Or rather, it’s rare. We’re all so busy, it appears. People typically don’t have the energy to be kind all the time, and that’s just the way it goes for the most part, which I understand. Each of our daily lives get clouded with junk that consumes most of our hourly thoughts and in turn, time goes on, and so does stress and worry and that doesn’t ever stop, I’m assuming. So yes, I think it’s great that we have these kinds of days to force others into remembering how great certain people are. I’m past my early twenties now and I no longer can respect anyone for saying, “Oh nah, so-and-so doesn’t BELIEVE in Valentine’s Day and neither do I and BLAH BLAH BLAH we’re better than that.” ‘Cause NO ONE is better than that. No matter what you say or who you are. You may honestly think these are stupid days to celebrate, I understand that, but to put yourself above it – is so far past unattractive to me now and should be to you as well. The only way I can understand someone adhering to that policy is if that someone is telling their loved ones at least once a month how utterly fucking amazing they are, then I’ll understand. And I am in no way saying that a person needs a gift from their partner as a sign of affection. I am saying that when that person can give a shit enough so that they can spend two minutes out of their day trying to think of something/some act that may possibly make their mate’s day a little brighter, well, that I’m on board with. It has nothing to do with money, it has nothing to do with whatever is given. It has to do with the fact that we are all busy. And everyday life DOES get in the way of thoughts unexpressed. (And as a tiny sidenote, I think it’s so strange when a man gives a woman a gift on an anniversary or Valentine’s day but the woman does not give him anything? That’s fucking weird to me.)
And more importantly, when did this day become just about your partner? What the hell is with that? Yeah, my boyfriend’s lovely as fuck, but there are tons of other people in my life whom I care for as well and should fucking be celebrated today.
I think it’s very clear that our society needs these days to make individuals feel great for a moment since we’re all so goddam consumed with the meaningless minutia of being on certain paths that blind us to the great people in our lives.
(Just re-read this post, didn’t realize I sound angry as a madman in it. Sorry about that. It’s a beautiful day, and you’re sweet for reading.)
xx,
liz
Mom Says
“Never take a broom along when you move. Throw it out and buy a new one.”
GIRLS (HBO) Review - PART TWO (One Man's Trash episode)
All right, I just read a review that made me physically “UGH” numerous times, so I have to include a part two to that original review.
…I just deleted fifteen minutes of writing. Not because I didn’t think it was well written, but because I don’t want to emphasize any more negativity surrounding this episode (One Man’s Trash) that I feel like I really strongly want to defend, for some reason.
The two men who wrote the review that I will now only briefly comment on clearly can’t be of sound mind considering how it reeks of misogyny. These writers are not very well known, which leads me to believe that they’re each just really trying to make a name for themselves. And I’m not saying that no one is allowed to say anything bad about the show - but the review is so wretchedly hateful towards women that I can’t fully take it seriously and must force myself to believe that it was meant as some kind of farce. And honestly, to write something that would clearly upset a lot of people (women, specifically) and have people be outraged enough to talk about constantly - would make these guys even more relevant and noted. And I don’t want to do that, so I’m not gonna tell you where I read it or who they are, since it’s really the ideas put forth that made me so angry - and not the two who wrote it. So I’m only going to say a few things.
Excerpt from the review:
Hannah’s rude (“what did you do?” she asks Joshua, referring to his broken marriage), self-centered (“I’m too smart and too sensitive”), sexually ungenerous (“no, make me come”), and defiantly ungraceful (naked ping-pong).
“Sexually ungenerous”?!?! I could write pages and pages on why that phrase alone is abominable. But I won’t. If a man says, “Make me come first,” that is typically seen as assertive and so fucking commonplace that no one raises one question about it being uttered. But a woman says it and she’s fucking SEXUALLY UNGENEROUS?! Wow. That’s so far beyond fucked that I don’t want to get into it too deep because the foam frothing at my mouth from anger will short circuit my keyboard.
I gotta say that when I heard Hannah say that to Joshua in the episode I thought, “Fuck! Yeah!” - ESPECIALLY for her character to say that considering past situations when she has just done whatever the man she’s with wants to do, in whatever position he wants, etc.
Her character is said to be “defiantly ungraceful” while playing ping pong naked? Personally, I didn’t find that scene unrealistic. I like to do stuff naked. I’d be fucking naked all the time if I didn’t have roommates. It’s obvious that the men who wrote that just have such an issue with the constant sight of her body combined with the fact that, SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS, she’s actually pretty comfortable with her own fucking body, too.
The review goes on to mention how unbelievable the whole episode felt and how ludicrous it was for Hannah to get with such an intensely attractive man. Honestly, I didn’t find any of the episode unrealistic at all. I’ve been with men ten times better looking than me. IT HAPPENS, assholes. Get over it. And I absolutely have over-shared with emotional ramblings in a situation when I maybe shouldn’t have — and then was met with a brick wall-type face of, “Umm ok…” or even just silence.
And the thing that really pisses me off is that I have yet to read a review written by a woman who’s hated it. I’m sure they’re out there, I’m not saying that some women won’t hate it. It’s just the fact that, a day later, the majority of my Google search came up with a dozen reviews/articles written by different men condemning the whole episode and talking about how they “didn’t believe any of it” or “tuned out after the first five minutes”. That bugs me immensely because man… maybe it wasn’t fucking written for you to enjoy? Maybe the fact that you aren’t a woman in your twenties might hinder you JUST A FUCKING BIT? Or maybe, God forbid, you get a little bit of insight into the horrors of how it feels to BE a goddam woman in your twenties who hasn’t quite figured out her life yet. And maybe I wouldn’t be so mad about any of this if I weren’t also hit with a mountain of musings on Lena Dunham’s fucking weight or beauty or how ugly her clothes are. If you’re going to negatively criticize something, please don’t start with, “What was with that romper??” ‘cause you’ll likely sound like a simple moron. I’m not asking anyone to enjoy this episode. I just don’t understand why the criticism has to be a personal attack on someone who’s really fucking talented.
I know I said I wasn’t gonna get negative, but then it happened. I really should’ve just spared you and wrote this in a journal or something. Next time.