Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Annoyance of the Day - The Weirdness That Surrounds The Word 'Feminist'
Feminist: a person who supports feminism.
Feminism: The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.
How can this be any clearer?!
What's my description of feminism when some idiot asks me "what it means" to me? My understanding is that if you're a feminist, you want the same stuff for men and women. That's it. Pretty simple.
Some people I've come across (colleagues, acquaintances, lovers, strangers) usually think one of two things if the topic of being a feminist comes up. (Sidenote: I am never the one to bring this topic up. Why? Because most people are morons who don't know how to act like a normal human being when that word is uttered in their presence, so I tend to steer clear of it.)
Thought #1: A feminist hates men.
Or the brilliant Thought #2: A feminist thinks women are above men and should be seen as such.
Both these thoughts obviously get me going because I just want to scream about all the things that are wrong with those words. And honestly, I'm usually so enraged at the ignorance of ideas like that to want to continue and tell someone why they're not very smart. If only I had this article printed and always with me in my purse.
I really can't stand it when I get into an argument with someone and the question of, "Well, do you have a man pay for your dinner? Do you like it when a man holds a door open for you?" happens with the guise of telling me that if I do these things, then I can't be a feminist. First of all, these questions hurt my soul. I should not have to prove my feminist beliefs to anyone, ever. No one should. That's ridiculous. But if we're being real here, I love it when someone pays for my dinner. Not because I'm a woman, but because I have no money! Would I ever expect someone to pay for me because I'm a woman? Well, since I'm not a sub-level human being, no! I'm not crazy! Any people who expect someone else to pay for them are just not good people! Or married. (And also, whoever is in front should hold the door open, that's just common sense/kindness!)
On another note, I also can't stand it when I read article titles that start with, "Can a beauty editor be a feminist?" or "Can so-and-so be a feminist?" Look up the fucking definition of the word! EVERYONE can be a feminist, assholes. Even murderers! (As long as they're murdering men and women, I mean.) Almost anyone can be one! (Probably not rapists... yeah, they'd be pissed to find out that I was getting paid as much as them.) And likely, if I know you, you are a feminist. My mom and dad are, both my brothers, my boyfriend, all my friends - whether they know it or not. I wouldn't surround myself with people who didn't want me to get just as much stuff as them. Doesn't make any sense.
And I know this topic has been covered again and again on a million sites, but it's on my mind a lot, so I needed to say something about it all. The negative connotation of the word feminist will probably never change, I get that. But I can still scream about it from time to time.
(Sidenote: the "colleagues" I mentioned above consist of my dry cleaner, the electrician who lives across the street and local CVS employees.)
“I hope that one day you will have the experience of doing something you do not understand for someone you love.”
Everything Is Perfect When You're A Liar By Kelly Oxford - A Review
If you're under the impression that I recommend a lot of things to you, you'd be correct. If, however, you think that I recommend everything I read/watch/see to you, THAT'S where you'd be incorrect. For the record, I see lots of average, semi-okay things in my daily life that I choose not to share with you because, well, it isn't up to par. Just wanted to put that out there. You're never being duped by me, group.
Onto more important things... this book! The book's great! I've been looking forward to reading it for awhile now and finally did. Here are my highlights:
- "I shook my head. "Girl, the rapist would go haywire with all that diarrhea and totally just kill you." I was totally saying "girl" like I was Tyra Banks when she's talking black to make it obvious she's having fun. (Tyra only talks white when she wants you to know she's serious.)"
- I don't know if I was just deliriously tired when I read the chapter "The Backup Plan" where she's describing working in a palliative care center, but the last two pages of that chapter made me sob, it was so sad and well written.
- "I'm never catty. Cattiness is a girl-on-girl crime, I'm not biased; I have as much contempt for men as I do for women."
- "The first time I thought about how beautiful Osama Bin Laden's eyes were was in the middle of the night, and the next morning I woke up with the worst UTI of my life."
- In the chapter when she meets David Copperfield, I learned that he has heat sensors on his audience because he checks to see which illusions they respond to - which is the coolest in the world, I thought.
- "I look like a need a dollar sign in my name."
There really are lots of other great parts and stories, so you should definitely give it a read. I first heard about her like everybody else did - on Twitter. She also has a great blog. Excited to see what she does next.
You can buy the book here or get it at your local library if you're cheap. (Cheap people are people, too.)
(Also, it took a great deal of restraint to not go on excessively about how gorgeous this woman is and that fact combined with the fact that she seems like a really sincere and fun person? Ugh. Very envious and glad that she's getting so much success.)
Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead - A Review
You need to watch this documentary. It's about this man who decides to do a 60 day juice cleanse, but then it becomes about a lot more - involving other people as well. Is that description vague? I hope it is. Just vague enough so you might be intrigued into seeing it.
Honestly, it's just a crazy good film and ridiculously... heartfelt. Maybe that seems like the wrong word choice, but I'm sticking with it. There's this one man Phil in it that is just... I love him. You really have to see this. The whole thing can be viewed on YouTube here.
Why did I enjoy it so much? Man, I wish it were one thing that I could place and tell you. But it was a lot of things. The fact that it started out as being about one idea with one specific man, and then turned into so much more? That's probably it. And everyone apart of it seemed so genuine and, as lame as it is to say, inspiring. Absolutely no reason not to see this one, guys.
Creme Brûlée Donut at Doughnut Plant
I know that I tell you that you gotta do a lot of things. But you really gotta eat this guy. This is the mini creme brûlée donut that you can get at Doughnut Plant in NYC (they have two locations). The top is super sticky (just as the hardened sugar should be) and the filling is delicious as hell. They only come in the mini size, but to be honest, a larger one would be excessive, so this is perfect. Try, try, try!
Edward Hopper's "Nighthawks" In Real Life
Photograph: Filip Wolak
I don't know about you, but I ADORE THIS. It's just such a fun idea. The Whitney has put on this life-size 3D installation of Edward Hopper's "Nighthawks" painting in New York as part of their Hopper exhibition that's going on at the museum right now. I went and saw the exhibition (which was great). Why was it especially so great, you ask? Well, because it was pay-what-you-can Friday and the whole evening cost me about $1. So that was great, but also - I stumbled into a room with a guide talking about a lot of Hopper pieces and became excited, since I actually really like his stuff ("New York Movie" is definitely the standout best one in my head), so it was great to hear all about these pieces I'd actually want to hear about. After all that I then headed down to 23rd Street to see the life-sized version, which is too cool for words. Such a neat idea. If you're anywhere near 23rd & Madison, definitely go take a look. It's up until the beginning of October.
“Does your underwear have any holes in it? Yeah, I don’t care how soft it is, how much you love them or how much you paid for them, CHUCK IT. Everyone should be ashamed of ratty underwear.”
The Metropolitan Museum of Art
I like going to the Met. Not love, like. There are really only three main reasons to go here.
You pay a dollar and get admitted ($25 is the recommended admission, people. Don't be a sucker and pay it!) to see a ridiculous amount of priceless things. UPDATE: the suggested amount now only applies to NY residents, but if you can get access to a NY library card, this can still apply to you. You just have to give a NY zip code and you’re golden.
There are some rooms that make you feel like you are literally IN art. I'll explain this further below.
The rooftop garden.
That's the view from the roof. It's probably one of my favourite views in the city. Every summer there's a new exhibit going on up there, so I went on over to see what this year's had in store.
Essentially there's just a lot of splattered red paint on the ground. And voila, art. If I'm getting much too technical for you here, I do apologize. So... Is it good? God, who knows. Did I like it? Not really. Only because I can't help but compare it to when Jeff Koons had an exhibit up there years ago that was gorgeous and great.
I guess some of the patterns up close were kind of neat. But I'm really reaching here, guys. Honestly, the view up there is the best thing. They have drinks and sandwiches as well, but I think you know by now that $10 for a pre-made turkey sandwich ain't gonna fly with me.
Other highlights of The Met? Well, personally I just like wandering around. The best parts of any museum visit is when you enter a room and there's no one else there. I love that to death. It just feels kind of nice to be alone with all that crazy old, expensive, sometimes-gorgeous stuff. Rooms like this!
If I ever have a ludicrous amount of money, I'd love to pay someone off to let me just hang out in a museum after hours. With no jerks around telling me that I'm standing too close. And there's no one around taking any photos. God, that'd be amazing. (I do realize I, infact, AM one of those dummies who took photos here in this instance, but that was for the purpose of you idiots reading!) But imagine just getting to hang out with all this stuff? Alone? Might be magical, I think.
Anyway, onto my favourite, favourite room. Well, rooms. I'm not even sure what category they'd go into, but here are a few of the rooms I love.
Absolutely love all of it. Imagine getting to live in these rooms? Such elegance! Look at that bed! Just nuts. You don't get to actually walk in and around these rooms, but you do get to peer in. And that's enough. I wouldn't like it if anyone could just roam around like they're the King of England and put their feet up wherever they like! God, no. Too beautiful to be touched.
Anyway, this isn't even my favourite museum in New York, but it's a fine one. Go see that roof!
Umami Burger
This L.A. chain just opened a location in NYC earlier this month. I went yesterday evening. You need to eat this burger.
That is a photo of The Original above. I ate it... slowly. That's how you can trust that I'm being forthright in telling you how good it was. What's in The Original? A parmesan crisp, shiitake mushrooms, roasted tomato, caramelized onions, a house umami ketchup. The bun? Fucking pillowy and perfect. Just delicious. For $12 a burger I was expecting it to be, at the very least, memorable - and it definitely was. The wait for a table is just dumb, but hopefully that'll settle down once the summer winds to a close. You need to try this burger. And don't make any substitutions either. The older you get, the more trusting you need to be about what a chef wants to put on their burger, so trust them, fool.