“I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that - I don’t mind people being happy - but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying “write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep”, and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position - it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness”. Ask yourself “is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is.”
“WOMEN: Always wear jewelry when wearing a swimsuit. Makes you look 50% more confident in WHATEVER you’re bringing to the table.”
Song of Myself - Walt Whitman
When I die, somebody please read this beautiful excerpt at my funeral:
"What do you think has become of the young and old men?
And what do you think has become of the women and children? They are alive and well somewhere,
The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,
And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it,
And ceas'd the moment life appear'd.
All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier."
- Song of Myself, Walt Whitman
The Cake Truffles at Momofuku Milk Bar
I fully understand that these truffles do not look delicious. I searched for many images, and even took some of my own and they all came up the same. These babies just don't photograph well. Which is unfortunate BECAUSE THEY ARE TASTY AS HELL. They're dense but not overwhelmingly dense, it's also nice that they're a normal and fun little size.
The best flavour I've tasted has to be the Apple Pie truffles. And I've never even tried apple pie. So wait, maybe that doesn't help my cause here since I don't even know what real apple pie is supposed to taste like... Well. Let's just say that I have tasted and enjoyed a lot of apple pie flavoured gum as well, so I think I know what I'm talking about.
Past flavours that have been offered:
- Birthday Cake
- Chocolate Malt
- Chocolate Chip
- Pineapple Upside Down Cake
- Lemon Strawberry
Note that they do change the flavours every few months. I still can't decide if I like that they do that or not. Sure it's bold and always-changing, which I like in theory. But then again, I can't have the apple pie ones whenever I want them. So... I guess it's a tough call.
There are a few locations in New York and a new one in Toronto now as well.
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Annoyance of the Day - The Weirdness That Surrounds The Word 'Feminist'
Feminist: a person who supports feminism.
Feminism: The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.
How can this be any clearer?!
What's my description of feminism when some idiot asks me "what it means" to me? My understanding is that if you're a feminist, you want the same stuff for men and women. That's it. Pretty simple.
Some people I've come across (colleagues, acquaintances, lovers, strangers) usually think one of two things if the topic of being a feminist comes up. (Sidenote: I am never the one to bring this topic up. Why? Because most people are morons who don't know how to act like a normal human being when that word is uttered in their presence, so I tend to steer clear of it.)
Thought #1: A feminist hates men.
Or the brilliant Thought #2: A feminist thinks women are above men and should be seen as such.
Both these thoughts obviously get me going because I just want to scream about all the things that are wrong with those words. And honestly, I'm usually so enraged at the ignorance of ideas like that to want to continue and tell someone why they're not very smart. If only I had this article printed and always with me in my purse.
I really can't stand it when I get into an argument with someone and the question of, "Well, do you have a man pay for your dinner? Do you like it when a man holds a door open for you?" happens with the guise of telling me that if I do these things, then I can't be a feminist. First of all, these questions hurt my soul. I should not have to prove my feminist beliefs to anyone, ever. No one should. That's ridiculous. But if we're being real here, I love it when someone pays for my dinner. Not because I'm a woman, but because I have no money! Would I ever expect someone to pay for me because I'm a woman? Well, since I'm not a sub-level human being, no! I'm not crazy! Any people who expect someone else to pay for them are just not good people! Or married. (And also, whoever is in front should hold the door open, that's just common sense/kindness!)
On another note, I also can't stand it when I read article titles that start with, "Can a beauty editor be a feminist?" or "Can so-and-so be a feminist?" Look up the fucking definition of the word! EVERYONE can be a feminist, assholes. Even murderers! (As long as they're murdering men and women, I mean.) Almost anyone can be one! (Probably not rapists... yeah, they'd be pissed to find out that I was getting paid as much as them.) And likely, if I know you, you are a feminist. My mom and dad are, both my brothers, my boyfriend, all my friends - whether they know it or not. I wouldn't surround myself with people who didn't want me to get just as much stuff as them. Doesn't make any sense.
And I know this topic has been covered again and again on a million sites, but it's on my mind a lot, so I needed to say something about it all. The negative connotation of the word feminist will probably never change, I get that. But I can still scream about it from time to time.
(Sidenote: the "colleagues" I mentioned above consist of my dry cleaner, the electrician who lives across the street and local CVS employees.)
“I hope that one day you will have the experience of doing something you do not understand for someone you love.”
Everything Is Perfect When You're A Liar By Kelly Oxford - A Review
If you're under the impression that I recommend a lot of things to you, you'd be correct. If, however, you think that I recommend everything I read/watch/see to you, THAT'S where you'd be incorrect. For the record, I see lots of average, semi-okay things in my daily life that I choose not to share with you because, well, it isn't up to par. Just wanted to put that out there. You're never being duped by me, group.
Onto more important things... this book! The book's great! I've been looking forward to reading it for awhile now and finally did. Here are my highlights:
- "I shook my head. "Girl, the rapist would go haywire with all that diarrhea and totally just kill you." I was totally saying "girl" like I was Tyra Banks when she's talking black to make it obvious she's having fun. (Tyra only talks white when she wants you to know she's serious.)"
- I don't know if I was just deliriously tired when I read the chapter "The Backup Plan" where she's describing working in a palliative care center, but the last two pages of that chapter made me sob, it was so sad and well written.
- "I'm never catty. Cattiness is a girl-on-girl crime, I'm not biased; I have as much contempt for men as I do for women."
- "The first time I thought about how beautiful Osama Bin Laden's eyes were was in the middle of the night, and the next morning I woke up with the worst UTI of my life."
- In the chapter when she meets David Copperfield, I learned that he has heat sensors on his audience because he checks to see which illusions they respond to - which is the coolest in the world, I thought.
- "I look like a need a dollar sign in my name."
There really are lots of other great parts and stories, so you should definitely give it a read. I first heard about her like everybody else did - on Twitter. She also has a great blog. Excited to see what she does next.
You can buy the book here or get it at your local library if you're cheap. (Cheap people are people, too.)
(Also, it took a great deal of restraint to not go on excessively about how gorgeous this woman is and that fact combined with the fact that she seems like a really sincere and fun person? Ugh. Very envious and glad that she's getting so much success.)
Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead - A Review
You need to watch this documentary. It's about this man who decides to do a 60 day juice cleanse, but then it becomes about a lot more - involving other people as well. Is that description vague? I hope it is. Just vague enough so you might be intrigued into seeing it.
Honestly, it's just a crazy good film and ridiculously... heartfelt. Maybe that seems like the wrong word choice, but I'm sticking with it. There's this one man Phil in it that is just... I love him. You really have to see this. The whole thing can be viewed on YouTube here.
Why did I enjoy it so much? Man, I wish it were one thing that I could place and tell you. But it was a lot of things. The fact that it started out as being about one idea with one specific man, and then turned into so much more? That's probably it. And everyone apart of it seemed so genuine and, as lame as it is to say, inspiring. Absolutely no reason not to see this one, guys.
Creme Brûlée Donut at Doughnut Plant
I know that I tell you that you gotta do a lot of things. But you really gotta eat this guy. This is the mini creme brûlée donut that you can get at Doughnut Plant in NYC (they have two locations). The top is super sticky (just as the hardened sugar should be) and the filling is delicious as hell. They only come in the mini size, but to be honest, a larger one would be excessive, so this is perfect. Try, try, try!