“If your lipstick matches your nails, I assure you, you will rule this world.”
Yonanas - A Review
Yonanas is an ice cream treat maker. I recently got one (thanks Gary & Amanda!) and there are a few things you should know about it.
How do you use it? You freeze up some fruit (minus the peels, if there are peels) and make sure that it's in your freezer in some kind of ziplock/tupperware-like container. Once it's frozen (a few hours), you can use it in the machine and make ice cream. And there's nothing added, it's pure frozen fruit. So if dairy is ever a problem for you, then you need this machine immediately.
Things You Should Know
- Do not try this with old, disgusting frozen fruit that has been sitting in your freezer for at least a year. I tried this genius idea and it spewed out little pieces of blueberry garbage. And since this was my maiden voyage of using this machine, I was deeply hurt that it didn't turn out like what was in the infomercial. I was in the wrong here, not the machine. DO NOT USE OLD FROZEN FRUIT.
- This stuff really does have the consistency of ice cream. It's weird. I tried some peeled cantaloupe next and... wow. If I'm ever adult enough to throw dinner parties or even to make a meal for my parents, this dessert is definitely being made. So classy! Cantaloupe ice cream? Get out of here. I'll be admissible for country clubs if word gets out.
- While the cantaloupe one was good, the bananas one? Out of this world. Just amazing. If you are ever at my house, demand that I make you some of the banana.
- Also, that photo up top? Whatever is in that bowl looks gross and is NOT the way that the fruit comes out. It's way more ice cream-y looking.
There are some great recipes here, which I'll try eventually once I've calmed down from the banana. It's usually around $55 and completely worth it. You can get one on Amazon, but you might be able to find a cheaper one in a Wal-Mart or Target possibly.
“I wish you had brought your Yonanas over. That stuff is amazing.”
“Wow.”
Dutch Kills Centraal in Astoria, NY
If you're in Astoria, stop whatever you're doing and go eat here. I feel like this is going to be a post that I'm going to have to come back to constantly with slight updates of what I've tried there recently detailing how MUCH I loved it. So far? The deviled eggs with bacon and aleppo pepper are nuts. And the fucking slow roasted pulled pork? Get the hell out of here. This is the best pulled pork I've had IN LIFE. You start eating it and you're all, "Yep, this is pulled pork." But then you realize some of it is somehow CRISPY and fucking unreal, it's so good. Must eat this. Also, they have half sandwiches for $3 at lunch with is insanely cheap and probably taste heavenly.
Also, I thought this place would just be a bar. It looks like just a bar. But with food like this? Yikes. So much more than just a bar. Go now.
Mom Says
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Illustration by Andrew Hamm
Mako Hair Architects & Spa - Brampton, ON
Let me start this by saying that I am not very loyal to any hairdresser. I like to shop around, and I get my hair cut maybe once every two years so it isn't a high priority for me since I've had the same hairstyle since grade three. Let us casually move past how abnormal that fact is, though, yes?
When I do force myself to get a trim, it's always too expensive. That's why I tend to go for Groupon hair deals instead. And this was the first actually amazing Groupon experience I've had. (Why were past Groupon deals bad? I don't know, just added on fees, a lot of attitudes when I present my coupon, silent judgement, etc.) I feel like I'm almost definitely going to make this place my go-to salon now. Why?
- Every single woman in there was RIDICULOUSLY nice and talkative, but not in that boring "How's the weather? What do you do?" type way. That's probably what I loved most. Most hair places are all about chit chat, and that's fine if you're into that, but usually I find it boring, awkward and nobody's really that interested in anything the other is saying. Am I alone in thinking this?
- The hair stylist I had trimmed it exactly the way I wanted, WHICH IS RARE. Most of the ones I've had in the past do whatever they think would look good and it's usually always garbage.
- Somehow we started talking about some of the superstitions that my mom has passed on to me and she had totally heard of some of them before and GAVE ME MORE NEW ONES! So, obviously, lot of love for that.
- They also do coffee readings. And I think you already know that I'd be really into that.
Just such a good experience. Definitely go here if you're looking for a new place that's actually good. It's near Main Street and Queen Street in Brampton. Also, the Groupon is still available here.
Exact Address:
20 Queen E, Brampton, ON
L6V 1A2, Canada
(905) 460 - 0500
“Men are simpler than you imagine, my sweet child. But what goes on in the twisted, tortuous minds of women would baffle anyone.”
Gary & Amanda's Baby Shower
At some point in your life, you're going to throw someone a baby shower. Here's how I did it!
Sample invitation
In my opinion, the best invitations are available on Etsy. I went with Olive Berry Paper and they came out adorable. To be accurate, the shower was supposed to be based on a woodland theme, but came out much more owl-y (but WHO minded? No one!) (I know, booooo, I'm sorry about that.) Honestly, my main goal for the event was to have it not be lame. I hate baby games. I hate large groups of adults playing games. No one needs any of it. I just wanted to have a simple time, with edible food, based around things that that the couple (my brother and sister-in-law) would enjoy.
Bread basket
This was the bread basket - the bread was from Cobs Bread and you need to eat some of this bread if you live anywhere near Toronto or Mississauga. This stuff tastes nuts. I'm forever thankful to Marla for turning me onto it. The little mushrooms are just mozzarella sticks with grape tomato halves on top in a sea of arugula. I would've wanted to spread that all over the table, but arugula is pricey.
Owl cheese
This is the owl cheese that I made with my patient and loving niece Tianna. There's an instructional blog post about how to make one here.
Poutine cups
I wish I'd taken proper photos of these guys, but this is the only one that exists. These are the mini poutine cups I assembled. These were not difficult at all - I just got the jars from the dollar store (three for a dollar), bought the Wendy's fries and gravy individually that morning (no way was I gonna make that myself, plus it was the couple's favourite fast food poutine) and got the cheese curds from the grocery store. Easy peasy. I got the idea for this when I saw this site while I was searching for baby shower ideas. And fries are always better than vegetables.
Caesar Salad Bites
I love the idea of cleanly eating a Caesar salad, so obviously I really wanted to do these. You can find the recipe here. And I don't have a photo of it, but the world's best spinach and artichoke dip exists here and needs to be eaten by everyone alive. Some other things that were served that I, unfortunately, don't have photos of are the wraps that I ordered from Whole Foods (which were surprisingly really good - the blackened chicken salad one especially), my sister-in-law Cindy's amazing stuffed mushrooms, this pasta salad (just add pasta to the recipe) and lychees that came in a can (Who the hell knew they came in cans?! That's amazing.) - and now here are the desserts:
Acorn Cookies
Again, not the greatest photo, but here's what they sort of looked like.
Strawberries w/ Cool Whip and Nutella
Owl Sugar Cookies
And of course I didn't make these owl cookies - look at them! They're perfect! I bought them off Etsy.
Cake!
And this gorgeous cake was made by the beautiful Laurie. Look at this cake! YOU can't make a cake like this! Obviously it was delicious.
All in all, not very stressful to plan. Party Pail had pretty much all the decorations I needed, with numerous dollar store runs as well. These owl frames were in the favor boxes, alongside a small satchel of cookies and cream Hershey's kisses.
And while it's too time consuming to list every song that I had on the playlist that I had on in the background, here's one that's just perfect for a baby shower.
(I apologize that some of the photographs aren't better, my focus was elsewhere. Won't happen again.)
Tip - Fish Oil for Aches
The main reason to take these kinds of pills? If you work out. I got this tip from the ever-clever Jenn who suggested them to me after I complained about body aches caused from going to the gym. They totally work, too. I never feel any kind of pain now, no matter how hard I push myself at the gym. The recommended dosage on my particular fish pill bottle is 2-3 a day, but since these tablets are so damn fat - I only take one a day. Works like magic. Definitely try this out if you're ever complaining of any body parts hurting the day after going to the gym.
Song of the Moment
Can't even tell you how much this gets played when I'm on a treadmill at the gym.
Nathan at Caroline's
Do you see that? DO YOU? Yeah, he's gonna be at Caroline's. Do you understand how good that is? Just incase you don't, let me assure you that it's a big deal. Way too proud of this man. If you're in NYC, there is no reason for you not to be here Wednesday night (November 13th).
You can get tickets here (and they're $5.50 each if you use the access code BREAKOUT).