Nathan and I have watched this documentary a total of eight or nine combined times in the past two weeks. We're not maniacs, it's just crazy well done and even if you never gave a shit about Nirvana, I swear you'll still get into it. So, so well done.
Year 1 in the UK - By Gary Heather
GUEST POST! I asked my brother Gary to write a post on whatever he liked, so off we go!
As I write this, the heat of a radiator fills the room and a fire is roaring about 8 feet away, but in spite of these incendiary sources, every part of me is cold. I thought I knew what it meant to be cold coming from Canada; a place I lived my entire life before moving here to Glasgow this past summer. In Canada we have extremes, but in this large, 14-ft ceilinged apartment, the temperature rarely changes no matter what happens outside. On the rare hot days, it’s still cold inside our place. On cold days, just as cold. When it’s raining - cold. Sunny? Cold. It doesn’t change in here, it’s as if there’s some sort of force field around the apartment that maintains the internal temperature. Somehow, the interior walls are also always cold, and they radiate this steady chill that permeates through to your bones and just stays there.
For those that don’t know, about a year ago my wife and son upped and left our lives in Toronto to try out a new adventure across the pond here in the UK. I took an extended leave from my television career of 9 years, we sold or stored all of our stuff, leased out our condo, and just left. Since the wheels touched down at Belfast International (where we lived for the first half of the year), I’ve been thinking about the reasons behind why we embarked on this journey in the first place. The answers differ daily depending upon my emotional state - from the exciting highs of cruising through some of the most beautiful landscape I’ve ever seen to the depressing lows once I realized we couldn’t get a good poutine anywhere.
It’s different when you come here for a vacation, obviously, as a week or two is just enough time to find all the little quirky things very appealing. Like the different words for things – they say ‘maths’ instead of math, the 5pm meal (what we call dinner in Canada) is called ‘tea’ here, the meal at noon (our lunch) is called ‘dinner’. The ‘toilet’ refers to the whole bathroom. ‘Biscuits’ are any type of cookie, and biscuits as we know them at home don’t exist. A picnic basket is called a ‘hamper’. ‘Pants’ mean underwear for some reason. There’s just so many of these, where it’s not just a different word, it’s a different usage of the same word. The thing about prolonged exposure to this environment is that there is a constant stream of these new word meanings that you keep on learning as time goes on. It hasn’t stopped yet and I’m not sure when and if it ever will. That’s the quirk about it all; it’s not like a new language, it’s basically people telling you that blue is really red or up is really down – and you’re just supposed to believe them.
Somewhat unsurprisingly though, the thing I miss the most is any sort of support system. Families, friends, colleagues - all gone. In spite of Skype and letters and email, I may as well be on Mars with the feeling of disconnect I have. From simple things like having someone available to watch Camden to being able to easily chat with someone I see pretty much every day, to spending time with friends at the cottage and thanksgiving with the family. It’s rough not being able to do these things. I’m sure in time, probably years from now, I can build a type of support system here, but I don’t think it will ever be the same. Homesickness has given way to the realization that we are alone here, and it’s the loneliness that is starting to get to me.
So will we stay? I can’t say yet - even though it’s been almost a year I still consider it early days. The people I’ve met here are very friendly, welcoming and open. The companies I’ve worked for and with and have been fantastic and I’ve been lucky to have worked on some big-name projects and with some exceptionally creative and talented individuals.
One thing I can say about this journey is that I do not regret embarking upon it; I complain about the UK’s quirks and whine about missing Canada, but I generally expected to feel that way coming into it. Taking a chance doing this was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t go back and make a different decision for any reason. It pains me that I hurt some people I love to take this chance, but in the end I know I would’ve always regretted it if I didn’t try. It was a question I asked my sister many years ago when she was considering moving to New York – I asked if she would regret not moving there if she didn’t, knowing what she may miss out on if she stayed in Toronto. She knew the answer – we both did.
It’s safe and easy to live your life according to external expectations, but it has the potential to leave you with regrets. These days I get to spend most of my time with my son and my wife, take long walks around a city looking at beautiful architecture, eat amazing food, play video games, write 2 different blogs, develop shows with creators and companies from around Europe and the UK, and edit wedding Marryoke videos. I didn’t even know what a Marryoke video was before coming here, they’re pretty fun to cut. Meanwhile, Amanda has also embarked on a new career and social path, getting out, meeting people, being a part of various organizations – I’m very proud of how she’s embraced the change in our lives. Camden is…well…running around bumping into things here just the same as he would back in Canada.
I wouldn’t say Year 1 of our journey has inspired some sort of big epiphany in me, but I do look at the value of relationships a lot differently. I realize now how important human connection is, how important my friends and family really are to me. I’m getting to a point where I could do my job anywhere on earth with a stable internet connection, and we’ll need to make a decision in the near future about where we finally want to plant some roots. What will that decision be? Currently, it’s a question I throw to the ether. I may not know what that choice is yet, only that it’ll be the one that makes us all truly happy.
Finally, and most importantly, I’d like to thank my sister Liz for a couple of things – one, for asking me to write this guest post on her fantastic blog - and two, for being a part of what inspired me to take this journey in the first place. Her courage to take a leap into the unknown played no small part in helping push me towards what has been one of the most adventurous, scary, amazing, memorable and important years of my life.
By Gary Heather
(Thank you so much for doing this, Gar! I love you way more than a sister should and I'm definitely going to ask you to guest post again.)
“If you meet up with your family over the holidays, take a family photo. Not enough families do this anymore.”
Annoyance of the Day - Gift Receipts
I hope you know where I'm going with this. What's so annoying about gift receipts? THE ABSENCE OF THEM.
(And before I go on, if you find this post selfish or crass, please don't ever get me a gift. If you're that sensitive about such a topic, I can't imagine you'd be a good gift-giver anyway.)
Now, why are people so anti-gift receipts? Those tiny pieces of paper are beautiful little angels who WANT you to enjoy the money that has been spent on you! The mere existence of them is one of the greatest advancements in our modern society. Hey! You don't like your gift? That's cool, go pick out something else you DO like and don't waste that hard-earned money that was spent on your behalf! That's all they're saying, why are they not more used?!
I'm not alluding that for every gift I get, I want a gift receipt attached to it - I'm not some sort of demon. But if you're buying someone a gift and you're asked the question, "Do you want a gift receipt with your purchase?" - why the hell is the answer ever NO?! Who has the abnormally high confidence that every gift they've ever bought has been the absolute perfect gift?
Oh, and the weirdos who give you a gift, you open it and then they say, "I have a gift receipt if you want it" - are we kidding here? Why did you not just include it in the box?! You want me to ask you for it?! I already told you that I'm NOT a demon, so no - I don't think I'll be asking you for that little piece of paper.
It's so simple. You get a gift receipt. You include with the gift. If the gift sucks, the receiver doesn't have to throw out something they'll feel badly about. They can, God forbid, GET SOMETHING THEY ACTUALLY WANT. Why is this a difficult concept?
Okay. I'm getting heated up here. I'm sorry. There are, of course, exceptions to these opinions. If you're in my family and there isn't a gift receipt with someone that I don't particularly care for - I'll probably let you know that I want to return it. And it won't be weird 'cause we're family and we can be dicks to each other without guilt. But with friends and acquaintances? That's a way harder area. Friends feel like they should know you, but such is not always the case. And telling a friend is WAY harder than telling your family.
And honestly, there have been maybe four instances in my life when I've really wished there were a gift receipt with a certain gift I've been given. I'm typically very happy whenever someone gets me anything, so I'm really just speaking generally. Gift receipts are so important. I mean, they exist - so why not give them with every gift? Unless you're buying that gift online, I really don't see why this custom hasn't caught on more.
All right, that's it. I'm sorry that you think I'm a terrible person, but someone needed to say it.
Iris Documentary
I first heard of this lady in that great Bill Cunningham documentary. She seems unique as hell and her relationship with her husband Carl was probably my favourite part to watch in this documentary. Definitely check it out on Netflix.
Mom Says
“Lettuce is believed to have magical and healing properties, including the power to arouse love and counteract the effects of wine.”
Best Morning Ever Mug
Designer Tom Medwin has created what he calls the "Best Morning Ever Mug," which has been designed to keep your coffee or tea warmer for a longer amount of time after you pour it, as well as provide a surface that acts as a doughnut warmer. $15 gets you one if they reach their Kickstarter goal (which they totally have already).
“All we know is the wind that blows.”
Heattech Clothing at Uniqlo
Nathan got me that Heattech outfit (shown above) last year and, quite honestly, it saved my life. We live in a basement that used to not have any heating (I know, that's a sad story, but we have heat now!) and I wore this set almost exclusively for four months. If that sounds like a joke, I apologize. It was a reality that we had to get comfortable with - and wearing this outfit made that winter bearable. It's such a warm outfit that they sort of remind me of stylish long johns. I think you can wear them underneath your regular clothing too since they're so slim-fitting. And if you're a fan of being warm, but not bulky-warm - then these are the perfect at-home clothes that you need to buy immediately for winter. They have mens sizes as well, so they're kind of the perfect gift for anyone who has ever been affected by warmth.
Spinach Tofu
I have found the best cream cheese flavour of life and his name is SPINACH TOFU. Does that sound gross? It sounded gross to me, too. But I swear to you, this stuff tastes better than any cream cheese I've ever had. The consistency is the exact same as regular cream cheese and you cannot taste one iota of tofu. And also? Have you ever felt grossly full after a regular sized bagel and cream cheese? Well, if you choose this flavour over regular cream cheese, YOU WILL NEVER FEEL GROSS AGAIN. Maybe 'cause there's just so much less fat in it? I don't know, I'm not a scientist.
If you need to try it, they've got it at Brooklyn Bagel in Queens and I feel like this flavour is slowly picking up steam and showing up at other breakfast places. Keep an eye out.