“Always say hello to the person you sit next to on a plane. It’s so weird when humans don’t do this to other humans.”

Smart Phone Manners

I know it's a common occurrence to have every action of daily life interrupted by technology. I really do understand this. My main concern here? How much worse is it going to get before we all hate one another.

I recently got an iPhone (I upgraded from my 2009 Samsung that finally died) and I really thought I'd become as equally annoying as everyone I know (with the exception of maybe one person) with this new device in my life. But honestly? I think I'm the same me. And thank God for that.

My main problem here? Table manners & smart phones. If I were to rule the world, I'd create a course on the subject and implement it in every elementary school classroom, so we could grow up having a basic understanding of THINGS WE SHOULD ALREADY BE AWARE OF.

What does it take to not be considered an impolite piece of iPhone-using scum? Not much! Here's a gentle list to take note of.

Things To Avoid

1. If you're seated at a table that has cutlery on it, don't you dare put your phone down on that table. Don't do it. I don't care if you're a man who keeps his phone in his pocket, figure it out. (Sidenote: it really can't be good for men to keep cell phones so near their junk. Has anyone done a study on that yet?)
2. If you really can't fight the urge to read that text that just arrived, put your phone on Do Not Disturb mode if you're amongst other, polite human beings so you're not tempted to look.
3. If you're waiting for your drink or food or cheque to arrive, this is not the time to check your email. If you're amongst company, speak to these humans beside you. If you're alone, LOOK AROUND maybe or have a thought of some kind. Your time doesn't have to exclusively consist of refreshing your Instagram feed.

And the most important rule of all? If you must, absolutely must, take your phone out for whatever reason (and that better be for a good goddam reason) - you should, at the very least, apologize for its presence. To bring out and use your phone with no explanation at a sit-down dinner is inexcusable and rude beyond measure. And the fact that you're even slightly thinking right now, "Whoa, calm down, Liz. Everyone does it." is abhorrent. We used to have better manners. I know that we did because I'm not that old and I remember a time when manners were sort of respected. I don't know how this shift slowly happened and we all became dirtbags, but it doesn't have to be this way. I know it. I just know it.

The Importance of Cinema Etiquette

“When Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Psycho’ premiered on Broadway, a sign hung over the cinema entrance that read, “No one... BUT NO ONE… will be admitted to the theatre after the start of each performance of Psycho.” According to Hitchcock, this was for the audience’s own good. But it was also part of a beautifully orchestrated marketing campaign that created excitement for the movie by driving home the importance of seeing it from the very beginning.”

Before Psycho hit theatres, apparently it was common culture to just waltz into a movie screening at any old time. As maddening as that is, this type of behaviour became less and less popular after Psycho's release and it suddenly became important to see the beginning, middle and end of a movie. Isn't it strange that it was ever acceptable to miss the beginning of a movie?

Keeping that in mind, why the hell do we allow late-comers into movies in this day and age? If a movie has begun, those doors should be locked at far as I'm concerned. Or at the very least, get some pimple-faced kid who works there to man the door and refuse entrance to anyone who shows up past the publicly displayed showtime. 

I hate when I need to shuffle my coat and purse around on the grimy floor, just because some late loser needs to shimmy on by me to sit down. That's bullshit. 

Why is lateness not more penalized in our society? It's weird that it's not. We shouldn't be as casual about it as we are because it's a sickness. And if we continue to just look the other way, it's only going to get worse. 

There's really so little you need to do in order to be a basic, decent human in a movie theatre.

1. Show up early.
2. Shut the fuck up.
3. Shove your phone up your own ass if you can't go for less than two hours without looking at it.

The three S's! Pretty simple stuff. And honestly, I really just think it comes down to having manners. Where the hell did the importance of having good manners go over the past few decades?

Mom Says

“When you get a gift, don’t shake the box. Children shake boxes, not adults.”

The Bed Butler

It holds laptops up to 17", magazines, tablets, e-readers, books, cell phones, remotes, pens, glasses and more - all within arm's reach while you're in bed. While I try not to tolerate cell phone usage in my own bed, this does seem like a great idea to have.

(Sidenote: no couple should allow cell phones NEAR their bed. Let a bed be a bed, unfettered. Shouldn't it be the one place where technology doesn't take over your surroundings?)