If you say goodbye to a friend on a bridge, you will never see each other again.
“Maya Rudolph’s impression of Gwen Stefani is so ridiculously great. Just lovely. Seek it out. Think she did it on a Jimmy Fallon. Not gonna give you the link. Fucking look for a change.”
Mom Says
“For good luck throughout the year, wear new clothes on Easter.”
Mom Says
When you’re being driven across a set of railroad tracks, make sure to lift your feet off the ground as you drive over the tracks and make a wish while doing so. If you’re returning across that same railroad track later on in the same day, do not repeat this and make a wish again. Only one per day allowed.
“Anyone who literally takes you away from washing dishes to have sex with you? One of the hottest things to happen in a domestic relationship. Even hotter if you, in this day and age, still own/use dishwashing gloves.”
Mom Says
“To drop a comb while you are combing your hair is a sign of a coming disappointment.”
“Dull nail polish? Dull life.”
Tip of the Day - Change Your Bedspread
Something that you should do at least once every season (so at least four times a year): change your bed sheets. Now I’m not talking about “having clean sheets”, silly. This isn’t what I’m saying. I mean the main bedspread that you have on top your mattress, that needs to change with the seasons. Why? Because everyone needs a bare amount of variety in their lives. I only started adhering to this policy last year, and I’ve got to say - it makes a difference. Mentally.
I don’t want to get too metaphysical on you right now, but doing this just feels important to avoid ever feeling stale or dated or basically just less happy, surroundings-wise.
I like to change them up as the seasons change, since that just makes sense logically to me. Whenever you’d like to do it, just make sure it gets done. You don’t feel the same way consistently every month, week or day - so it only makes sense that you shouldn’t immerse yourself with monotony.
This may seem like a dumb tip, and if you firmly still think that it is, well, cool. What of it. This is just something I feel pretty strongly about and with the nicer weather coming up, I wanted to propose the idea to you.
“When sweeping the floors, do little bits of dirt stick to your feet or socks while you do it? Wear heels. A cleaner and sexier solution.”
Mom Says
“It is bad luck to sing while eating.”