Bossypants By Tina Fey - A Review

I know that I'm about two years late in reviewing this, but I finally just got around to reading it only last night! I know... pathetic. Even my dad read it eons ago (though, to be fair, he's a much bigger Tina Fey fan than I am). I'm not even a busy person, so really there's no excuse for the lateness here. 

Thoughts & Parts I Loved

• Hearing the phrase "my thick virgin eyebrows" made me laugh for about three full minutes. 
•  "This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. "You're up for a promotion. If they go with a woman, it'll be between you and Barbara." Don't be fooled. You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone."
• When talking about her experience on a cruise: "There are some wonderful Filipinos who fold your towels in the shape of a different animal every night. It might be an elephant wearing your sunglasses, or a duck wearing your sunglasses. It's just fun. Don't overthink it." - I can't really put into words why exactly, but the "It's just fun. Don't overthink it." part of that made me laugh a lot.
• Honestly, the whole chapter about her honeymoon on a cruise ship is just wonderfully funny, especially her description of cruise ships in general: "Luxury cruises were designed to make something unbearable - a two-week transatlantic crossing - seem bearable. There's no need to do it now. There are planes. You wouldn't take a vacation where you ride on a stagecoach for two months but there's all-you-can-eat shrimp. You wouldn't take a vacation where you have an old-timey appendectomy without anesthesia while steel drums play. You might take a vacation where you ride a camel for two days if they gave you those animal towels wearing your sunglasses."
• The line, "At a certain point your body wants to be disgusting." Ugh, just love that. 
• The chapter "Remembrances of Being Very, Very Skinny" is too great for words. The final paragraph of it especially: "We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for awhile (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy."
• My favourite lines from "Remembrances of Being a Little Bit Fat" are: 1. "Even though I only liked McDonald's fries, I believe it was more nutritious to make a meal of it and have two cheeseburgers as well." 2. "If I was really ambitious, I would get a Whopper Jr. at Burger King and then walk to McDonald's to get the fries. The shake could be from anywhere."
• When talking about the ever-issue of women being funny: "I think of this whenever someone says to me, "Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny," or "Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny," or "Rick Fenderman says women aren't funny....Do you have anything to say to that?"  Yes. We don't fucking care if you like it."
• When talking about the overuse of Photoshop: "I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society...unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool."  And "Photoshop is just like makeup. When it's done well it looks great, and when it's overdone you look like a crazy asshole. Unfortunately, most people don't do it well. I find, the fancier the magazine is, the worse the Photoshop. It's as if they are already so disgusted that a human has to be in the clothes, they can't stop erasing human features."
• Her description of Amy Poehler makes me really want Amy Poehler to write a book. She seems like the coolest woman alive. 
• "Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff?" 

Just a really great book, you should definitely read it - what am I saying, I'm sure you have already since it came out a billion years ago. In that case, read it again! She's an incredible woman and I sincerely hope that she writes another one sometime soon. You can purchase it here or peruse one of your friends bookshelves, 'cause I'm pretty sure you'll find it there, too. 

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) By Mindy Kaling - Review

Loved it. Duh. 

That really could be my complete analysis of this engaging and lovely-as-fuck little book. No, “little book” sounds condescending. And I won’t (errr, I’ll try not to) taint this post with any sort of hidden envy that is seething through my bones after reading such an extraordinary first book by this woman. (I say “first” book because honestly, if there aren’t more to come in the future, then she’s harming us all. Yes, harming.)

Observations While Reading

• Apparently, I laugh out loud while reading now. New. 
• If I ever meet this woman, I will forcibly make her talk to me about what specific lyrics from Joni Mitchell’s Blue album she loved and why. And I will then discuss mine because that album is magic.
• She mentioned the movie A Fish Called Wanda somewhere (in a very non-important way), and I made a note to watch it because I feel like people were constantly talking about that movie at some point in my life and I’d never seen it. Anyway, just watched it last night. No idea how Kevin Kline won that Oscar. Suck-fest.
• Her chapter about specific, odd things that make her cry? God. I loved reading that almost too much. I want to make a whole book devoted to those things. Infact, that might be an idea.

Here are a few of my favorite parts:

I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they’re “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.” For heaven’s sake, if you don’t know someone’s name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone does, where you vaguely say, “Nice to see you!” and make weak eye contact. 

Without knowing me at all, Gail nicknamed me Minz. I respond very well to people being overly familiar with me a little too soon. It shows effort and kindness. I try to do this all the time. It makes me feel part of a big, familial, Olive Garden-y community.

A note about me: I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake.”

Why didn’t you talk about whether women are funny or not?

I just felt that by commenting on that in any real way, it would be tacit approval of it as a legitimate debate, which it isn’t. It would be the same as addressing the issue of “Should dogs and cats be able to care for our children? They’re in the house anyway.” I try not to make it a habit to seriously discuss nonsensical hot-button issues.

That last one is my very favorite. Anyway, such a great book. Please read it. I never read (well, rarely) and I read this in a day and just loved it. You can buy it here. 

(Ugh, I wish I didn’t tell you I never read. Fuck, that was stupid. I’m actually trying to make more time for it. It’s just hard sometimes ‘cause of, like, the internet fucking up my time.)