New Year's Eve Checklist

by Liz Heather in

Make sure the following things are done today:

  1. Make sure there are groceries in the house. The new year must not be seen in with bare cupboards, lest that be the way of things for the year.

  2. Go to an ATM or bank and make sure there is cash in your wallet. This guarantees prosperity in the coming year.

  3. If you're celebrating at home, let all the windows and/or doors open at midnight to let the old year out and to let the new year in.

  4. Twelve grapes, for the twelve months. You also should make a wish on each grape. And for each grape's taste - that signifies what that month will be like. For example, if the third grape you eat is very sour, then March will be an unpleasant month for you.

  5. Wear polka-dots, even in some small way. Anything round signifies good fortune.

  6. Pay January's rent TODAY. You don't want any money going out of your home tomorrow.

  7. Settle any debts you owe, if you can afford to.

  8. Back up your laptop onto the external hard drive. Have you done that lately? God, so important. Go do that now.

  9. Wash your hair today, so you don't have to tomorrow. This will be explained later.

  10. Take out the garbage today, so you don't have to tomorrow. Again, explanations are coming soon.

I'm sorry. I have to do these things. And so, I must pass them onto you.

If you actually give a shit about doing ANY of those things, then return tomorrow to see what you should do on New Year's Day for a prosperous year ahead.