May Musings

by Liz Heather in , , , , ,


So this is the first post in what I hope to be a new series of posts that I’m going to try to do. (Have I said that before? About other things? Oh god, maybe I have. I have a tendency to start something enthusiastically and then immediately forget about it and sometimes even forget it ever even existed?) I will really try to not let that happen here.

ANYWAY, what I’d like to do here is talk about the new things I’ve done this month. In the old days, I’d devote whole posts to individual things that I’ve loved or hated, but honestly, some times a few sentences could suffice. So here are some of the things that I’ve encountered in the month of May.

  • I dry cleaned my winter coat and packed it away for the season. Do you do this when winter's over? You should. 
  • I really don’t go to the movies a lot anymore and I miss not going. I used to go constantly when I was younger, but the real fun of that was because I was going with my brother Robbie. There were a solid fews years in the early 00’s where we’d see everything that was playing in any given theatre. Just for the sake of seeing a movie. I mean, we had a lot of free time then so it just made sense. I go so rarely now that I really need to want to see a movie to get me into a theatre now. Thus, seeing RBG was an active decision, and a great one at that. I knew nothing of the woman before seeing it, and the trailer made it look great, so of course it was. If you’re a fan of women at all, you should see it.
  • I ate the banana bread with espresso mascarpone at Two Hands in Soho. And whoa. Here it is.

Banana Bread with Espresso Mascarpone from Two Hands

  • I ate the fried chicken at Blue Ribbon Chicken. I know so little about good fried chicken, but this was pretty incredible. Maybe a smidge more expensive than I thought it should be, but a kid’s meal was a decently priced & sized pre-meal.
  • I attempted to read Jenny Lawson’s Let's Pretend This Never Happened and I really didn't care for it. I lasted about ten pages then gave up. I’m probably being too harsh here, but I found her tone… irritating. Also, not to boast or anything, but I’m a tiny bit proud of being able to put a book down and inwardly say, “No, thanks.”
  • I tried Farsali's Jelly Beam Highlighter. I'd never heard of the brand, but they have a tiny section at Sephora that has, like, three items. No idea why. Especially because the highlighter itself is pretty incredible. I bought it solely because of the fact that it was a “jelly” (meaning that it jiggles) highlighter because I’m simple and that sounded fun. I think it looks especially amazing on collarbones.
  • Nathan and I ate at Rosemary’s in the west village on my monthly Nathan-must-date-me night. He got the roast chicken and I got a kale and celery caesar salad. His chicken was insanely good and my salad just reminded me why celery should never be a main ingredient. It’s not its fault, it doesn’t know any better, but humans should know enough to understand that chomping on celery in any form sucks. Restaurant was beautiful and if I ordered better, I’d have more glowing things to say. My fault.
  • I went for dinner at L’Artusi with a friend and had probably one of the top five best meals I've ever had in this city. We did wait awhile for a table, but we didn't have a reservation and it was a Saturday night so duh. We ordered one of the specials as an appetizer (the steak tartare) which was incredible then followed it with the insane garganelli with mushroom ragu that I will remember for the rest of my life. They also sent out a kale ravioli that was mind-blowing. And I'm not typically inclined to call kale-ANYthing "mind-blowing," so understand me clearly here. These pastas will change you. I can't wait to take more people here. The service was incredible. I really can't say enough good things about this place. Go nowhere else for pasta.
  • I finally went to the Birch Coffee near my house and I'll keep this brief. A small iced coffee shouldn't cost $4 in 2018. A coffee shop should have a bathroom. A coffee shop that is "wifi free" shouldn't boast about that fact. Any business that is "cashless" is obnoxious and nobody likes you. The coffee tasted all right. That is all.
  • I got the banana-chocolate pudding at Magnolia Bakery. Remember how much I already love the original banana pudding at Magnolia Bakery? Yeah, this one is better. It just is. Of course it is. Adding chocolate to something that was already perfect just makes sense. Give the people what they want.
  • Tried some of the burger and the chicken sandwich at The Spotted Pig and MEH. I mean, yeah, they were good, but they’re ungodly expensive for what’s being put on your plate. And those skinny little fries that are piled up like a mountaintop? Deceiving. They tasted like air! They look like they're gonna be amazing, but you're left with a feeling of emptiness inside. Emptiness and hunger. A fry should taste like a fry. Basic physics here, guys. The main reason we went was because it was after midnight and for some reason their kitchen stays open late (possibly only to swindle you with $26 burgers when nothing else in the area is an option?)
  • Got an advance screening pass to the movie Gotti. I went. I lasted 25 minutes and then left. Good god, DID IT BLOW. But of course it did. Why didn’t I know that going in? Well, I kinda did but it was free. Wow, was it terrible, though. Comes out next month on the 15th. Don't go.
  • Last month I heard about Gofobo, which is a site that arranges free movie screenings near you and emails you to see if you want to go, it's amazing. I heard about it right before Nathan and I saw A Quiet Place last month (for free), so I just stayed on their mailing list. Unfortunately they also sent me my Gotti tickets, but I won't hold that against them since I'm the idiot who said, "Gotti? Sure, that seems fun!"
  • Tried the Ginger Scallion Noodles (with pickled shiitakes, cucumber, nori) at Momofuku Noodle Bar. I’ve been here only once before, years ago, and I really just was in a noodle mood so I came again. It wasn’t terrible, but again, I think I ordered bad. I really wanted the Chilled Spicy Noodles (with sichuan sausage, Thai basil, cashews) but I was dissuaded by my waiter because he said it was overly spicy and then made a face. But then I got a look at it when someone else ordered it and knew I should’ve gotten it because it looked amazing, so I’ll get it next time and then tell you if it’s too spicy. Also, the Soju Slushie that is Spicy Lychee flavored was crazy good. Although that makes sense to me because when I went here years ago, their Singapore Sling slushie was also pretty memorable. 
  • I went in looking for the s'mores pie slice that I've wanted to try for ages, but instead found the salted caramel brownie from Dean & DeLuca. And wow. Just wow.
  • I finished watching Ugly Delicious on Netflix. I really can’t remember why I put this off for so long, considering how much I like well-shot food shows. For the most part, I thought it was all right, I wrote down a few food recommendations from it (like Lucali in Brooklyn). There were a few parts that made me not really like David Chang, though. They were such small parts, but I don’t know, they stayed with me. Like how during this one segment where he’s doing pizza deliveries alongside a real Dominoes delivery person, they’re going to a bunch of houses and then at the end David goes, “Are we done? Yeah, I’m not doing another fucking delivery.” I don't know, I'm probably reading too much into it, but I just hated the way he said that right infront of the grown man delivery guy. It was rude and belittling and I really didn't like it. As I said, I'm probably reading too much into it, but it bothered me. Other than that souring part, it was an all right series to watch. There were lame parts sprinkled here and there. I feel like I progressively liked it less as each episode went on and I don’t really know why. You know what the problem is? I think he just thinks he’s really cool and funny and doesn’t have a real sense of self and if he were a little more humble or warm as a person, it could’ve helped the overall tone of the series. 
  • I also started watching Bill Hader's Barry on HBO because my brother Gary told me to. I'm only three episodes in and it's pretty good I guess? I mean, it is. I just haven't decided if I'll watch on or not.
  • Nathan and I have started watching The Twilight Zone (on Netflix) and it's one of the best shows I've seen in such a long time. Obviously not every episode is a great one, but the ones that are? Watch out. We've seen about 40 episodes or so already and there have been at least 20 really great ones, and we're only a quarter of the way through the series. Love watching these at night before bed. This was the final quote from a recent episode we watched that I just loved, "The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices - to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own - for the children and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to The Twilight Zone." I mean, that's pretty good, yeah?! Love Rod Serling's voice so much, too. Such a great show. I wish I'd seen it when I was a kid.

Writing all of this down makes it seem like I have a great life, when in reality... oh my god I do. Excited for June!

babydip.JPG

Song of the Summer

by Liz Heather in


I may be a year late on this, but I’m just grateful that I’m not, like, five years late on how great this song is. SONG OF MY SUMMER, most likely. Apologies in advance to my upstairs neighbors for how many times this will be on repeat.


by Liz Heather in ,


There was a time when I would have ordered a watery nest of zoodles without a moment’s hesitation. There was also a time when I couldn’t write or participate in life because I was so hungry and unsatisfied and obsessed with foods I didn’t allow myself to eat. I finally sought help last year, and now I see how problematic it is, this movement to pass off “healthy” foods as “unhealthy” foods. It sends the message — that lands particularly hard with women — that our hunger and appetites are things that must be controlled and manipulated and tricked by vegetable-shaped noodles and liters of water. I’ve used my voice as a writer to reclaim my dignity and self-respect, and one day it just clicked that the way I talked about myself to myself, and the way I ate in response to that nasty and unforgiving voice in my head, was about as far from empowered as it gets. I will no longer participate in a system that tells women we should eat less and weigh less and be less, and it is my dream for all of us to stop doing penance for eating pizza and to stop berating our perfectly fine bodies because it just makes it okay for guys to berate our perfectly fine bodies. You know the Bechdel test for movies and books? I want to create my own test that challenges women to have conversations about anything but our bodies. All this to say, fuck you, zucchini noodles. And you, too, cauliflower rice.
— Jessica Knoll