So pumped for this.
Do you remember ages ago when I posted a quote from Lindy West on here? Well, I still think of those few paragraphs a lot and wondered why I'd never looked up to see what else she'd written. So here we are! I just finished her book and it was phenomenal. Maybe the best thing I've read in the past five years or so. So many favourite parts ahead.
- "America's monomanical fixation on female thinness isn't a distant abstraction, something to be pulled apart by academics in women's studies classrooms or leveraged for traffic in shallow "body-positive" listicles - it is a constant, pervasive taint that warps every single woman's life."
- "Women matter. Women are half of us. When you raise every woman to believe that we are insignificant, we are broken, that we are sick, that the only cure is starvation and restraint and smallness, when you pit women against one another, keep us shackled by shame and hunger, obsessing over our flaws rather than our power and potential; when you leverage all of that to sap our money and our time - that moves the rudder of the world. It steers humanity towards conservatism and walls and the narrow interests of men, and it keeps us adrift in water where women's safety and humanity are secondary to men's pleasure and convenience."
- "The active ingredient in period stigma is misogyny."
- "Maybe periods wouldn't be so frightening if we didn't refer to them as "red tide" or "shark week" or any other euphemism that evokes neurotoxicity or dismemberment. Maybe if we didn't perpetuate the idea that vaginas are disgusting garbage dumps, government officials wouldn't think of vagina care as literally throwing money away. Maybe if girls felt free to talk about their periods in shouts instead of whispers, as loudly in mixed company as in libraries full of moms, boys wouldn't grow up thinking that vaginas are disgusting and mysterious either. Maybe those parts would seem like things worth taking care of. Maybe women would go to the doctor more. Maybe fewer women would die of cervical cancer and uterine cancer. Maybe everyone would have better sex. Maybe women would finally be considered fully formed human beings, instead of off-brand men with defective genitals."
- "The truth is, my discomfort with my period didn't have anything to do with the thing itself - it was just part of the lifelong, pervasive alienation from my body that every woman absorbs to some extent. Your body is never yours. Your body is your enemy. Your body is gross. Your body is wrong. Your body is broken. Your body isn't what men like. Your body is less important than a fetus. Your body should be "perfect" or it should be hidden."
- "Solidarity with other women is one of my drugs of choice."
- "Loving yourself is not antithetical to health. It is intrinsic to health. You can't take good care of a thing you hate."
- "My dad had four wives; my mom was the last. You could frame that as irresponsibility or womanizing or a fear of being alone, but to me it was a distillation of his unsinkable optimism. He always saw the best in everyone - I imagine, likewise, he stood at the beginning of every romance and saw it unspooling in front of him like a grand adventure, all fun and no pain. The idea that a relationship is a "failure" simply because it ends is a pessimist's construct anyway."
- "Without my mom, would I have the grit to keep going? Without my dad, would I have the idealism to bother?" - Such a nice way to sum up your own parents.
- "Feminists don't single out rape jokes because rape is "worse" than other crimes - we single them out because we live in a culture that actively strives to shrink the definition of sexual assault that casts stalking behaviors as romance; blames victims for wearing the wrong clothes, walking through the wrong neighborhood, or flirting with the wrong person; bends over backwards to excuse boys-will-be-boys misogyny; makes the emotional and social costs of reporting a rape prohibitively high; pretends that false accusations are a more dire problem than actual assaults; elect officials who tell rape victims that their sexual violation was "god's plan"; and convicts in less than 5 percent of rape cases that go to trial. Comedians regularly retort that no one complains when they joke about murder or other crimes in their acts, citing that as a double standard. Well, fortunately, there is no cultural narrative casting doubt on the existence and prevalence of murder and pressuring people not to report it. Maybe we'll start treating rape like other crimes when the justice system does."
- "I am a shy person at heart, and a grieving acquaintance is a shy person's nightmare. The pressure to know the "right" thing to say. Seeing a person without their shell." - Good god, I love the description of a person who's mourning someone else being "without their shell" it's so well put.
- "Other people's grief is not about you; letting self-consciousness supersede empathy is barbaric."
- Part of her husband's vows to her when they got married: "And all those times that I tried so hard to get you to hang out with me, and I just wanted to be around you so much, I've never been more right about anything in my life. The only way I can think to say it is that you are better than I thought people could be." - I mean, my god. I love hearing vows.
Is it clear how much I enjoyed reading this book? I'm pretty sure she's writing another one and I. Cannot. Wait.
What an incredible woman. Read this damn book now.
It usually takes me about a decade to get into a good show, and I’m excited to finally be onto The West Wing.
Ten days into 2018 and I've finished my first book of the year. Is your envy seething?
After reading Jen Kirkman's latest book a few months ago, I really wanted to read her first book. They were both really good, but this one focuses way more on the fact that she doesn't want children (something that I love reading about). Here are some of my favourite parts, written out ahead.
- "I don't know why that happens - that when you're hanging out with someone you know you're going to fall in love with, you just don't know where to begin and you start picking up pieces of your life as though they're old photos randomly gathered in a box and handing them over to a virtual stranger for safekeeping. It's like saying, "Here. I'm excited and hopeful and I don't know where to begin but I think one day we'll eventually have enough time to unpack this thing and make some sense of it all.""
- "It's a weird thing society puts on us women. They tell us that we can have careers (well, after they told us we could vote - they sort of said it would be okay if we wanted to have a career, as long as we agree to get paid less than a man for the same job), and then they tell us that we aren't real women if we have careers but no babies, and if we dare pick a career over a baby... we better at least talk about that career like it's a baby in order to blend in and not call attention to the fact that we're selfish women who are not carrying on the human race."
- "I wasn't sure that Matt was the One. But I took a leap of faith. Romantic love is not parental, instinctual, unconditional love - it's complex. And what if I change my mind about having kids and I decide to have one and then I change my mind again? As gut-wrenching (and expensive) as it is to change your mind about who you love, it's a hell of a lot easier to get divorced than it is to toss a kid back into the sea and tell them that they'll meet someone else someday who will really love them."
- "Parents talk a lot about how much strength and dedication it takes to raise a child. It does. It also takes a lot of strength and dedication to carve out a life that doesn't seem normal to anyone else."
So much love for this woman.
There are few images that give me complete joy and this is one of them.
I've really put some thought into these this year. Some of them are repeats of other years (since they're so good) and some are brand new. Please, please, please make some for yourself, you think it doesn't help, but to have these in the back of your mind really makes you push yourself throughout the year.
- Read at least one book per season.
- Go to the gym or do some kind of physically strenuous activity at least ten times a month.
- Juice at least five times a month.
- At least once a month, go to a nice restaurant that you've never been to before.
- Take Baby Dog on at least two dog adventures per month (this could include going to Central Park, Astoria Park, dog dates, etc.)
- Properly go on a date Nathan at least once a month.
- Learn how to meditate.
- Once a month, write a letter to someone that I haven’t seen for awhile.
- Once a season, do a week-long juice cleanse or follow a completely raw food diet.
- By the end of the year, stop waitressing and start editing full time again.
- Read at least one book per season. - I did it! Winter (a re-read, but still), Spring, Summer & Autumn.
- Go to the gym or do pilates at least ten times a month.
- January - 6 times
- February - 1 time
- March - 5 times
- April - 6 times
- May - 9 times
- June - 9 times
- July - 8 times
- August - 0 times
- September - 6 times
- October - 7 times
- November - 4 times
- December - 1 time
- Yeeeeikes, well that didn't go well. But that means that I went to the gym 17% of the days this year, and while that's better than last year (in 2016 it was 14.5%) it's still not as good as in 2015 when I went 23.5% and in 2014 I went 37%. Welp, this year can always be better.
- Juice at least five times a month.
- January - 9 times
- February - 2 times
- March - 6 times
- April - 3 times
- May - 0 times
- June - 0 times
- July - 3 times
- August - 3 times
- September - 3 times
- October - 1 time
- November - 0 times
- December - 7 times
- Okay so 3/12 months I actually made my goal. Gotta try way harder this year.
- Get at least three haircuts this year.
- Hahah, only one haircut in January. SHIT.
- At least once a month, go to a fancy restaurant that you've never been to before.
- January: Gotham Bar & Grill (two of the best things I've ever eaten were consumed here. The mushroom risotto with trumpet royals, shiitake, baby arugula, pancetta, aged sherry and gruyere cheese as well as the Gotham Burger with plymouth tomme cheddar, vermont bacon, herb aioli and kennebec french fries) & Giorgio’s of Gramercy (the Alex Friar Soup and Chilean Sea Bass were equally heavenly)
- February: Nick & Stef's (decent) as well as Cagney's (slightly better than decent)
- March: Gusto 101 (not entirely memorable, but a good meal), Augustine at The Beekman (ridiculously good) & CUT (extremely underwhelming, this was probably the let down restaurant of the year)
- April: Il Corvo (crazy good pasta) and Canlis (one of the best salads of life)
- May: None!
- June: Blue Ribbon (the onion soup at their location on Downing Street was way better than this reincarnation)
- July: None!
- August: Fusco (the happy hour pasta that changes weekly is the main draw here), Il Buco (Finally! As good as I hoped), Employees Only (HARD PASS) & Keens (crazy good, must go back for dinner)
- September: Michael's Back Door (honestly, not as good as everyone tells you)
- October: AG (very lovely)
- November: None!
- December: Enoteca Adriano (such good specials!)
- There were only three months when I didn't do this! I will forever love this resolution and continue to do it each year.
- Make one Chrissy Teigen recipe (from Cravings) each month.
- COMPLETELY didn't do this. It's as if my eyes were blind to this being on the list.
- Take Baby Dog on at least one dog date each month.
- She had about seven dog dates this year, but I'm gonna tweak this resolution to better suit her for the upcoming year.
- Try at least one new hairstyle every month. (God, these are low/sad expectations, BUT THEY MINE.)
- Hahahah, not even kinda close to doing this one. God, 31 year old me was sad sometimes.
- Properly go on a date Nathan at least once a month.
- The only months we didn't do anything were April, May & June, which is kind of amazing that we did it for the remaining months! Definitely keeping this one on the list.
- Finally go to Staten Island for pizza. See what the big deal is.
- Still didn't go. Still don't know what the big deal is.
2018 resolution list coming soon!