One thing about me? I think that I belong in water. Why?

I have no discernible land skills.
Long-haired people always look fantastic in water.
I hate cell phones and the water hates them, too.
If I have a headache, and access to a pool, I'll go swimming and the headache is gone within minutes.

There are more reasons, but I'll spare you.

The Philippine Mermaid Swimming Academy is located in Boracay in The Philippines. They offer a Mermaid Swimming Class for Php 1,500 (which is about $36 Canadian dollars) and that includes:

15 mins – mermaid introduction and stretching

15 mins – how to wear and care for the mermaid tail

15 mins – swimming with the tail and floaters

15 mins – minutes swimming without floater

30 mins – swimming practice and drills

30 mins – conclusion ( picture taking and individual assessment )

The 2 hour lesson includes the tail rental.

* They require a Php 1,000 ($24 Canadian dollars) deposit. If the tail is damaged they will deduct from the deposit.

(What would damage a tail? I don't know, BUT I WANT TO FIND OUT!)

Now, if this doesn't entice you the way that it should, they also offer:

Mermaid Snorkeling
Mermaid Scuba Diving
Mermaid Fitness
Mermaid Makeover

I want to do ALL OF THESE. More than anything. Frankly, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now with the knowledge of knowing that this haven exists somewhere and is just waiting for my arrival. One day I will conquer you, Mermaid Academy. One day...

(Sidenote: The rentable tail is made out of a special scale pattern with high elastic swimsuit fabric that is 20% Lycra and 80% Polyester, which sounds bendy, magical and highly capable of achieving all of my dreams.)