Twenty years ago today (December 29th, 1994), I met my dog Jasmine. I was nine years old and she was a Christmas gift from my parents. (Quick tip: If your kid wants a dog, wait until he/she is at least eight or nine. The younger they are, the weirder they treat dogs.) I named her Jasmine because I wanted her to be named after royalty (the princess in Aladdin) since my parents named me after the Queen of England.

If I wasn't home for dinner, she'd take my place.

She was with our family for almost ten years before she passed away in 2004 and this lady was the love of my life. Everyone who knew anything about me knew that I'd lose it for awhile when she died, and I did. I dropped out of college for a bit, sat in the dark a lot and just felt awful all the time. If that sounds dramatic to you - I'm sorry, but I was upset. Even now, if I'm in a certain kind of mood and I start thinking about her - watch out.

I don't really even have a point to this post. I just realized what today was and wanted to mention it. If you come to this site to read any of my stuff, you often get a pretty good idea of the things I'm passionate about - so it seemed weirder for me not to mention this day. And if we're friends in real life and you didn't know about Jasmine - well, we definitely aren't as close as you might think 'cause EVERYONE knows about me and Jasmine. Or they should, anyway.

I know that it's probably not emotionally healthy to not completely move on ten years after a pet dies, but I don't know what to tell you. Maybe it's dumb, but sometimes I'll just say her name out loud so I can hear it and think for a split second that she never left. Fuck, I miss her.

Moral of this post? Don't love anyone 'cause they'll leave? Haha. No, but seriously don't.

I know I'm living a pretty lucky life, but I was lucky as hell to have a dog like her. After Jasmine died, my Ma said to me something along the lines of, "Yeah, this is awful. But at least now you don't have to be afraid of death since she'll be right there waiting for you when you pass away." And maybe it's abnormal to hear your grandmother discuss your own demise with you, but it helped me so much to have that thought in the back of my head for all these years.

Thanks for reading, guys.