I feel like I should write this post in 36 point font or something. I won't, but please know that I'm fighting the urge.
Now, where the hell should I start?
As you may recall, I've been wanting to visit here for awhile now. That dream finally came true this past week and I just wanted to share a few reasons why you may want to go as well. Notice how I'm assuming we're all Simpsons fans here? My stream of logic is that if you're here reading this blog, then you somewhat like my opinions ie. you like me. And if you like me, I probably like you. And if I like you, there's an understanding between us that The Simpsons have forever changed us all (at least slightly) for the better since they first aired. Yes? Yes.
Why didn't I pass out from excitement standing at this sign? Lord only knows. Only Tianna will ever truly know how happy this place made me.
While there were a lot of options for food, we finally decided on Krusty Burger.
When you're ordering your food (we split the Krusty Burger as well as The Ribwich), the individual ingredients for the burger are all visible (similar to Subway) and the beef patties look absolutely disgusting. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but I'm gonna go with yes it was intentional. And that kind of detail? Amazing. I was extremely nervous about eating something that looked SO bad (Tianna felt the same), but we did - and it was an amazing burger. I could've had another one. The Ribwich on the other hand? Yikes. That one was rough, man.
There's an attachment to Moe's Tavern from Krusty Burger so we got a booth at Moe's. I really just sat there in awe of how incredible they made Moe's look.
After we finished eating, I got a Duff and then sat at the bar for a bit. Tianna got a Buzz Cola and it was eons better than any Coke or Pepsi I've ever had. Just saying.
They had a working Love Tester machine in the corner, so obviously Tianna and I had a go at it.
Across from Moe's is the Duff Brewery. If you look closely, you may see some of my captured excitement between Edgy and Tipsy (if you don't know the names of The Seven Duffs - Edgy, Remorseful, Dizzy, Tipsy, Surly, Queasy and Sleazy - then I guess you have a life).
The fact that they had life sized monuments like these made my heart explode with joy.
In the Kwik-E-Mart, they were selling things like Yao Ming and Tom Hanks Simpsonized action figures. Why? Because heaven exists. The store employees even said, "Thank you, come again!" in a non-racist voice!
I'm thankful that a walking, talking Milhouse in costume wasn't around because even this moment made me feel a little weird... down there.
The Simpsons Ride was great, it reminded me of the old Back To The Future ride, which I always enjoyed. There's a new ride for kids called Kang & Kodos’ Twirl ‘n’ Hurl, which was as fun as a carnival ride should be. When the ride was half over, we finally realized that you can control your own car to rise and fall with a lever that's infront of you. To be fair, we were both in a general state of numbness from the overload of emotions going on within our very souls, so it makes sense that we didn't notice a small button.
We didn't play any games in Krustyland mostly because we had too much else to see, but the game operators seemed to know tons of Simpsons trivia and references and were shouting it out constantly, which I obviously loved.
And this donut? Not only was it the best tasting donut of my life, but also the prettiest. Please don't eat it all yourself. I cut it up into cake slices and ate it at home with my family as it is ginormous.
I don't really know where to go from here, to be honest. Marriage? Kids? Those things equally blow when compared with this wondrous land. My two regrets?
- Not having a Flaming Moe.