All right, I know I can sound dramatic sometimes. I need you to forget all those times, though, 'cause I need to tell you about THE BEST POUTINE I'VE EVER HAD IN THE HISTORY OF TIME.
I can't put into words what this did to my mouth. Every element was perfect if you're into the following:
- Not skinny fries, but not bigass fries either - PERFECT FRIES
- The darkest of dark gravy
- SALTY gravy
- QUEBECOIS CURDS, MOTHERFUCKER
I'm sorry. That was abrasive. But I'm serious here. This poutine shattered all past memories of every semi-good poutine I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Where can you get this goddess? All right, when you're driving from Mississauga to Toronto on the Gardner, get off on Lakeshore and it's at Royal Burger on the right hand side near the lake. If you see the Pizza Pizza, you've gone too far, sorry. There's a small-ish white and red sign that says "Poutine", but you see the sign after you pass the entrance so the sign should really say, "You Have Already Passed Amazing Poutine. That Sucks."
Place is called Royal Burger. Here's their menu.
Yeah, it encourages extra gravy and cheese. Do you understand how nice that is? Is $5.99 steep for the best poutine of your life? No. But also, you definitely should share this with someone. It's a lot to eat by yourself, and that's coming from someone who has a real case of BIG-EYE. (Is that a commonly known term: "bigeye"? We use it in my family all the time. It means someone who's eyes are bigger than his/her stomach. I got mad bigeye. Which doesn't make any sense on account of my deadeyes.)
Everyone should experience this poutine. I know the place is called Royal Burger, so maybe it should be about their burgers? I don't fucking know. I took a bite of one and couldn't really remember it so I guess that says something.
Okay, one last photo for the road. GO.