Django Unchained

by Liz Heather in ,

Okay, I don’t really know where to start this. It was literally from about the halfway point that I began to loathe the whole movie. I didn’t think the whole thing was terrible, so I feel weird even saying “loathe”. Christoph Waltz was fantastic, he was the absolute best part of the entire thing. I really wish it were just all about him and Django was a smaller, side part or something. Also, Jamie Foxx was good. And Leonardo DiCaprio was whatever, really… just average, but that’s fine ‘cause that wasn’t what bothered me the most. Also, the music was phenomenal. I wanted to look up almost every single song that was played.

I think what irritated me the most was how awful most of the writing was. (Absolutely not the KKK/head cloth scene, that was so great.) As a whole, it just felt like this movie was the first draft of a film school dropout’s attempt at acclaim. Or better yet, a screenplay that was written by a tiny child who goes on and on and on with his never ending, boring-as-hell story – like a story that goes, “And then I went here. And then I did this. And then it was winter. And then this was what we did next. And then I became a bounty hunter.” UGH. So badly told and BORING and I’m sorry, but there was no back story at all to why I would give a shit AT ALL about Django specifically. Okay, yeah. He had a wife. He wanted to get her back. Okay… what the fuck else you got? That’s so fucking DRAB and tired that I lost interest almost immediately.

Also, I’m sorry, but any fucking NOTABLE/GOOD/RESPECTED director does not fucking make a longer-than-a-minute CAMEO in his/her own goddam movie. And I know that’s his thing. That’s what he does. But jesus christ. He’s not an actor. He’s never been one. Get out of the fucking movie. You’re not being “fun”, you’re coming off as an idiot who’s almost saying, “Yeah, this movie is a joke. So I’ll just stroll along here in one scene for fun.” That’s just a personal side note thing of things I hate, but that really pissed me off and always pisses me off in most of his movies. Get off the fucking screen and focus on improving your reprehensible script that you’ve somehow convinced everyone is so good.

I just feel like the whole movie didn’t have enough rewrites. Also, it just felt as if he didn’t care much to edit ANYthing. Obviously it was too long. So many fucking things could and should have been cut. And yeah this is maybe dumb/dense of me, but jesus fuck, I get that it’s supposed to be realistic to that time, but it felt so fucking weird to me to be almost comfortable hearing that n word after the billionth time it was said. At first, of course it’s just, you know, awful to hear, but literally after the fiftieth time, it almost became comfortable to hear because of overuse – and I don’t really care if that was the intent or not, I fucking hated it, the overuse of that, which seemed completely unnecessary to do in excess and a lazy excuse for trying to get an audience passionately against the obvious villains. I get what he was trying to do, but it just fell apart completely in execution. Again, that’s just my opinion. So, so disappointing. Of course there were a tiny, few good parts/things that I laughed at/liked, but as a whole… MAN. I’ll never want to see it again. And this sucks to feel ‘cause I can’t find anyone else who felt this way yet. Spike Lee doesn’t count, ‘cause Spike Lee can eat it since we each hated it for different reasons. 

Numerous people have called me a moron for not liking it, and that’s all well and fine. Even I was confused by my level of disdain at the end of this movie.