“If you’re pregnant and you hate someone strong enough, your baby will look like that person you hate.”
Jim Carrey's Secret of Life
If you're not a Jim Carrey fan - okay, cool. That's weird, but okay. Regardless of how you feel about him, this just makes me think that he's infinitely better than us all.
“Stop getting your cuticles cut when you get manicures. Everyone should know this already, but stop stop stop cutting them. So bad for your hand health.”
Mom Says
“Don’t sweep dirt out the front door after the sun goes down or bad luck will come to your home.”
“Why the hell aren’t all safety pins black? Someone should get on that.”
Mom Says
“If you answer a witch’s question, she can take something from you.”
“Can someone start putting Chapters and Barnes and Nobles in airports? ‘Cause the book selections in any “Hudson’s” currently fucking suck. Who’s running this world? Put a real bookstore in an airport! I swear you’ll make a lot of money!”
Mom Says
“Clothes worn inside out will bring good luck.”
“ZZ Top’s ‘Sharp Dressed Man’ is a great song that a groom should walk down the aisle to.”
Mom Says
“If you have a realistic bad dream, the next morning breakfast must be eaten before the dream can be mentioned or discussed. Otherwise, the bad dream will come true.”