Woody Allen at The Carlyle Hotel

Note: This post will only please you if you have ever given a shit about Woody Allen's mousey little face.  

From September 9th until December 16, 2013, Woody Allen & The Eddy Davis New Orleans Jazz Band will play at The Carlyle Café every Monday night at 8:45pm. 

Does that seem insane to you? It shouldn't because he's been doing it every autumn for years now. Is this something you should go to? Heavens, yes.  

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This was something that I'd wanted to see in New York for eons. Why did it take me so long to finally go? Well, because of money. Anytime I'd come into a little bit of cash, I usually tend to throw that away on beautiful steaks and/or frivolous items that I'll never need. 

And then one beautiful day, my boyfriend Nathan told me that he was taking me to see the Wood as my Christmas present. (Also note: I had never mentioned to Nathan how much of a dream this was of mine. So when I lunged at him and asked, "How could you possibly know that this would be the best gift of all time!? I never mentioned it before! How could you know!?" - he responded with, "You talk about this man a LOT.")  

So we finally went one lovely December evening in 2012 and since it started at 8:45pm, I wanted to get there for 3:00pm. Seriously. We were getting bar seats, and those are first-come, first-served so I really wanted to make sure we were there as soon as possible. We, of course, were the first ones there - but people did start to trickle in by 4:00pm. So... if you're intending on sitting at the bar? Get there when I did.  

Anyway, the wait was fine and even a little fun since I was anticipating the evening so much (also, we saw Mick Jagger walk through the lobby, which was something), we ate dinner at the bar which was ridiculously good, of course - and the show? Man. Perfect. The music was good and it was the neatest thing in the world to see that man bust out a clarinet. He seemed to enjoy the hell out of it, too. Definitely something I'll remember for the rest of my life. I love that man. (That above photo of him is so blurry and not-good because I didn't take a lot of photos since it was just so nice to actually be there.) 

Anyway, this isn't even a great story to read or anything - I get that. But if you've ever had any doubts about going to see this, please just do it. Or talk about this man endlessly to your better half until they take you to go see him. 

The tickets are $195 per person for a real fancy/good table, $145 per person if you want to sit at a table and $100 per person + $25 drink min if you want to sit at the bar (which is extremely limited seating). Go here for more information on online reservations. 

The U.S. Open

What's that? You hate tennis? No, no you don't! You've just never gone to see a match, that's all. I assure you that you'll have a fun time. Please, though, do not pay over $40 for a ticket ever. Definitely don't go over that amount. Why not? Well, because it could get rained out and then you'll just be sitting there, like a sucker. 

I went to the U.S. Open yesterday and saw a women's match before the rain started and screwed us out of the day-long tennis that I was anticipating. But thankfully, I got row Z tickets for a very cheap amount, so I wasn't too stung by the weather (if these tickets costed a lot, then man... I would have lost my mind). It was at the Arthur Ashe stadium in Queens (the biggest tennis stadium in the world!), which was impressive to see. (Is that a dumb thing to say? Seems dumb. Nevertheless, I was impressed.) And reading about it today, I learned that they will infact build a roof to that stadium, but not until 2016 at the earliest. 

Anyway, the point of this post? Watch some tennis. Really. Just give it a try. Might like it. I, for sure, like it more than watching football. Maybe that sentence will make you scoff. Or maybe it'll plant the seed in your brain that tennis may actually be kind of great. I say this to someone once a week probably, but I'd really love it if I could be wicked at playing tennis myself. God, I'd be proud of that. But you know, my depth perception and all... ain't gonna happen.  

Unique Ice Cream Flavours

This place, Oddfellows Ice Cream Co., has maybe the neatest-sounding flavours I've ever come across in reality. And of the few I've tried, they be tasty as hell.

Some of the ones they carry include:

• Buttermilk Biscuit
• Guinness
• Rose Raspberry with Pink Peppercorn
• Thai Iced Coffee
• Burnt Marshmallow
• Beet Pistachio Honey Goat Cheese
• Coconut Dulce de Leche
• Coconut, Cream Cheese & Carrot Cake
• Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• Ginger Caramelized Banana Walnut
• Coffee & Coffee Soil
• Miso Butterscotch Cherry
• Sesame Kumquat Pumpernickel
• PB&J with Toast
• Manchego Pineapple with Thyme
• Oatmeal Cookie Dough
• Burnt Caramel
• Maple-Bacon Pecan
• Cornbread
• Chorizo Caramel Swirl
• Celery Sorbet
• Grapefruit Jalapeno Sorbet
• Lime Tarragon Sorbet
• Blood Orange Cinnamon Sorbet

And that's only a few of them.  

If those don't sound outrageous to you, well... I'm afraid you have some dire mental issues. Gotta go taste one of these, everybody.

UPDATE: They're opening a second location! OddFellows 2.0 will be at 75 East 4th Street (between Bowery and Second Avenue) opening on May 1, 2014.

UPDATE UPDATE: AND they began offering delivery from this location in September 2014!

The Cake Truffles at Momofuku Milk Bar

I fully understand that these truffles do not look delicious. I searched for many images, and even took some of my own and they all came up the same. These babies just don't photograph well. Which is unfortunate BECAUSE THEY ARE TASTY AS HELL.  They're dense but not overwhelmingly dense, it's also nice that they're a normal and fun little size. 

The best flavour I've tasted has to be the Apple Pie truffles. And I've never even tried apple pie. So wait, maybe that doesn't help my cause here since I don't even know what real apple pie is supposed to taste like... Well. Let's just say that I have tasted and enjoyed a lot of apple pie flavoured gum as well, so I think I know what I'm talking about. 

Past flavours that have been offered: 

• Birthday Cake
• Chocolate Malt
• Chocolate Chip
• Pineapple Upside Down Cake
• Lemon Strawberry

Note that they do change the flavours every few months. I still can't decide if I like that they do that or not. Sure it's bold and always-changing, which I like in theory. But then again, I can't have the apple pie ones whenever I want them. So... I guess it's a tough call. 

There are a few locations in New York and a new one in Toronto now as well.  

Creme Brûlée Donut at Doughnut Plant

I know that I tell you that you gotta do a lot of things. But you really gotta eat this guy. This is the mini creme brûlée donut that you can get at Doughnut Plant in NYC (they have two locations). The top is super sticky (just as the hardened sugar should be) and the filling is delicious as hell. They only come in the mini size, but to be honest, a larger one would be excessive, so this is perfect. Try, try, try!

Edward Hopper's "Nighthawks" In Real Life

Photograph: Filip Wolak

I don't know about you, but I ADORE THIS. It's just such a fun idea. The Whitney has put on this life-size 3D installation of Edward Hopper's "Nighthawks" painting in New York as part of their Hopper exhibition that's going on at the museum right now. I went and saw the exhibition (which was great). Why was it especially so great, you ask? Well, because it was pay-what-you-can Friday and the whole evening cost me about $1. So that was great, but also - I stumbled into a room with a guide talking about a lot of Hopper pieces and became excited, since I actually really like his stuff ("New York Movie" is definitely the standout best one in my head), so it was great to hear all about these pieces I'd actually want to hear about. After all that I then headed down to 23rd Street to see the life-sized version, which is too cool for words. Such a neat idea. If you're anywhere near 23rd & Madison, definitely go take a look. It's up until the beginning of October.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

I like going to the Met. Not love, like. There are really only three main reasons to go here. 

1. You pay a dollar and get admitted ($25 is the recommended admission, people. Don't be a sucker and pay it!) to see a ridiculous amount of priceless things. UPDATE: the suggested amount now only applies to NY residents, but if you can get access to a NY library card, this can still apply to you. You just have to give a NY zip code and you’re golden.

2. There are some rooms that make you feel like you are literally IN art. I'll explain this further below.

3. The rooftop garden.

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That's the view from the roof. It's probably one of my favourite views in the city. Every summer there's a new exhibit going on up there, so I went on over to see what this year's had in store. 

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Essentially there's just a lot of splattered red paint on the ground. And voila, art. If I'm getting much too technical for you here, I do apologize. So... Is it good? God, who knows. Did I like it? Not really. Only because I can't help but compare it to when Jeff Koons had an exhibit up there years ago that was gorgeous and great. 

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I guess some of the patterns up close were kind of neat. But I'm really reaching here, guys. Honestly, the view up there is the best thing. They have drinks and sandwiches as well, but I think you know by now that $10 for a pre-made turkey sandwich ain't gonna fly with me.

Other highlights of The Met? Well, personally I just like wandering around. The best parts of any museum visit is when you enter a room and there's no one else there. I love that to death. It just feels kind of nice to be alone with all that crazy old, expensive, sometimes-gorgeous stuff. Rooms like this!

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If I ever have a ludicrous amount of money, I'd love to pay someone off to let me just hang out in a museum after hours. With no jerks around telling me that I'm standing too close. And there's no one around taking any photos. God, that'd be amazing. (I do realize I, infact, AM one of those dummies who took photos here in this instance, but that was for the purpose of you idiots reading!) But imagine just getting to hang out with all this stuff? Alone? Might be magical, I think.

Anyway, onto my favourite, favourite room. Well, rooms. I'm not even sure what category they'd go into, but here are a few of the rooms I love.

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Absolutely love all of it. Imagine getting to live in these rooms? Such elegance! Look at that bed! Just nuts. You don't get to actually walk in and around these rooms, but you do get to peer in. And that's enough. I wouldn't like it if anyone could just roam around like they're the King of England and put their feet up wherever they like! God, no. Too beautiful to be touched. 

Anyway, this isn't even my favourite museum in New York, but it's a fine one. Go see that roof!

Umami Burger

This L.A. chain just opened a location in NYC earlier this month. I went yesterday evening. You need to eat this burger.

That is a photo of The Original above. I ate it... slowly. That's how you can trust that I'm being forthright in telling you how good it was. What's in The Original? A parmesan crisp, shiitake mushrooms, roasted tomato, caramelized onions, a house umami ketchup. The bun? Fucking pillowy and perfect. Just delicious. For $12 a burger I was expecting it to be, at the very least, memorable - and it definitely was. The wait for a table is just dumb, but hopefully that'll settle down once the summer winds to a close. You need to try this burger. And don't make any substitutions either. The older you get, the more trusting you need to be about what a chef wants to put on their burger, so trust them, fool.

Walking To The Crown of The Statue of Liberty

I have wanted to walk to the crown of The Statue of Liberty since I was a little girl. I literally was informed about what New York City was (when I was about... 8 years old, I'll say) - heard about this grand statue, and DREAMT about getting to be at the top of it one day. Why? 'Cause it seemed to symbolize so much about this incredible city that everyone around me seemed to love and talk about so much. 

It was closed for many years after September 11th, then re-opened right before Hurricane Sandy last year. It was open for three days before that storm shut it down again. It just re-opened last month, and I finally got to go up it yesterday. It was glorious. Not really life-altering glorious, but the kind of glorious that I've been anticipating for a very long time.  

You have the option of taking the stairs or an elevator to get to the platform (we opted elevator, since I wanted to save my legs for the stairs to the top). Once you get there, there's an entrance to the crown stairs (these are the tickets you need to buy in advance of even getting to Battery Park in Manhattan, days/months in advance), and then you proceed through the coolest, tiniest, at-some-points-darkest spiral staircase that leads you to the crown. These are not a lot of stairs. A few floors basically. I could do it without too much aggravation, and that's saying something. 

The crown itself holds less than ten people probably. I had no idea it would be that small, I thought I'd be able to roam freely and widely - not the case. That doesn't mean that it's not amazing, though, 'cause it really is. And honestly, I don't know why. Just felt cool as hell to be inside that lady. I would've paid $100 for that ticket, so I'm thankful the city of New York doesn't know that fact. 

All in all, I loved it. It's something I wanted to do for such a long time and I'm so glad it finally happened. For sure, it's maybe the most touristy thing you can do in New York - but so what?! Tourists are people, too! They came to see stuff, leave them alone and let them see it! God. Makes me so mad when people are all, "Ugh. Tourists." Get over yourself, bud. You're not better than anyone.

You can order crown tickets at statuecruises.com for $20 each. They make you pick a day and time when you buy the tickets, so have an idea of when you're coming. Also, make sure you go with someone who doesn't complain about lines (not long lines, but lines) and security and such 'cause this experience is RIPE with that stuff. Thankfully I went with someone laid back, normal and great - and that's how this event should be experienced (thanks, Nathan!), so keep that in mind. 

New Fries at Shake Shack

I know that I've already voiced my views on the burgers at Shake Shack (see here, for a refresher). But I just found out today that they're upgrading their fries. And that's post-worthy.

They used to look like this: 

And they've decided to change them to these:  

And this decision is glorious. They just announced the change today. Why am I writing about this? Well, I find it rare for a company to actually listen to their consumers when there's a valid, popular complaint. Those old fries can eat a dick! They were awful. This place is becoming unstoppable now. I'm kind of afraid almost. Cannot wait to try these.