My brother Gary's birthday is tomorrow and I hope he realizes how much he is loved and missed (he lives with his family in Scotland). I know I talk a lot about how important siblings are, and I'll continue to do so until absolutely everyone I know is convinced. You're the best, Gary, and I swear I'll try not to make your gift eight months late this year.
Dad on YouTube!
This is only a part of the full interview that my dad gave a few years ago on his WWII experience.
Ma!
This is a video of my grandmother, Ma, making this Trinidadian candy that she's been making for decades. My mom shot the footage and my brother Gary cut it together - and it's fantastic.
My Brother's Meaning of Life Definition
GUEST POST! I asked my brother Robbie to write a post on whatever he liked, so off we go!
"I was asked to write a guest blog by Liz. After reading my other brothers guest blog I realized I had to go bigger and bolder.
The Meaning Of Life
It’s a question that has been asked by many since the dawn of civilization. The answer is: it’s in us always. Most of the time, the meaning is behind a door that’s shut within our soul and body. A lucky few have felt that door open and have seen inside, but only for brief moments since the door doesn't stay open long - and when it’s shut, the meaning fades away like a dream you try to remember when you wake. Some of us have never felt that feeling when the door opens, others may have felt it once, and few have felt it for only a limited amount of time. The feeling you get at an airport when you see your loved one return, a beautiful song, a sunset, a hug, and a kiss are all glimpses of this - as though you're hearing the door creak open, but you're unable to see inside. The same can go for negative experiences, a death, an accident, a moment of despair, or crying. To connect one of these experiences to the meaning is the hard part. The missing component is the self-knowledge and clarity of your own mind. It’s the idea that your mind is so busy doing multiple tasks that on occasion when you stop or slow down the process, you can allow your mind to see. As an example, your busy mind is a bulletin board with notes, pictures, ideas, diagrams, and charts - and as you slow down and allow your mind to relax, you remove all of the stuff on the board to reveal that is not a board, but a window into a beautiful landscape or something else that may inspire you. The combination of clarity and an experience can be compared to two cars crashing at an intersection that in turn will reveal the meaning of it all. As I said before, the meaning of the open door is always brief and can never stay open long. For some people, that moment that all is right in the world where they fully value the understanding of it all will fade into oblivion. For other people, it will remain like a distant memory from his/her childhood. The true test is not the pursuit of meaning, but the pursuit of life - to experience, to live, to be scared, to laugh, to cry, to be open to possibility. When you’re doing just that and the door opens, STOP, realize in awe the true beauty of life’s meaning, and keep on living."
By Robbie Heather
(Thanks for doing this, Ro!)
Merry Christmas!
I love these goons. Merry Christmas!
Happy Birthday, Ma!
Ma turns 97 today and continues to be the best. I love this woman more than I know how to express. If you've met her, you understand what I'm talking about. I wish I were with you right now in Trinidad to celebrate, but I know that everyone around you will make it a great day. I can't possibly love you more.
Year 1 in the UK - By Gary Heather
GUEST POST! I asked my brother Gary to write a post on whatever he liked, so off we go!
As I write this, the heat of a radiator fills the room and a fire is roaring about 8 feet away, but in spite of these incendiary sources, every part of me is cold. I thought I knew what it meant to be cold coming from Canada; a place I lived my entire life before moving here to Glasgow this past summer. In Canada we have extremes, but in this large, 14-ft ceilinged apartment, the temperature rarely changes no matter what happens outside. On the rare hot days, it’s still cold inside our place. On cold days, just as cold. When it’s raining - cold. Sunny? Cold. It doesn’t change in here, it’s as if there’s some sort of force field around the apartment that maintains the internal temperature. Somehow, the interior walls are also always cold, and they radiate this steady chill that permeates through to your bones and just stays there.
For those that don’t know, about a year ago my wife and son upped and left our lives in Toronto to try out a new adventure across the pond here in the UK. I took an extended leave from my television career of 9 years, we sold or stored all of our stuff, leased out our condo, and just left. Since the wheels touched down at Belfast International (where we lived for the first half of the year), I’ve been thinking about the reasons behind why we embarked on this journey in the first place. The answers differ daily depending upon my emotional state - from the exciting highs of cruising through some of the most beautiful landscape I’ve ever seen to the depressing lows once I realized we couldn’t get a good poutine anywhere.
It’s different when you come here for a vacation, obviously, as a week or two is just enough time to find all the little quirky things very appealing. Like the different words for things – they say ‘maths’ instead of math, the 5pm meal (what we call dinner in Canada) is called ‘tea’ here, the meal at noon (our lunch) is called ‘dinner’. The ‘toilet’ refers to the whole bathroom. ‘Biscuits’ are any type of cookie, and biscuits as we know them at home don’t exist. A picnic basket is called a ‘hamper’. ‘Pants’ mean underwear for some reason. There’s just so many of these, where it’s not just a different word, it’s a different usage of the same word. The thing about prolonged exposure to this environment is that there is a constant stream of these new word meanings that you keep on learning as time goes on. It hasn’t stopped yet and I’m not sure when and if it ever will. That’s the quirk about it all; it’s not like a new language, it’s basically people telling you that blue is really red or up is really down – and you’re just supposed to believe them.
Somewhat unsurprisingly though, the thing I miss the most is any sort of support system. Families, friends, colleagues - all gone. In spite of Skype and letters and email, I may as well be on Mars with the feeling of disconnect I have. From simple things like having someone available to watch Camden to being able to easily chat with someone I see pretty much every day, to spending time with friends at the cottage and thanksgiving with the family. It’s rough not being able to do these things. I’m sure in time, probably years from now, I can build a type of support system here, but I don’t think it will ever be the same. Homesickness has given way to the realization that we are alone here, and it’s the loneliness that is starting to get to me.
So will we stay? I can’t say yet - even though it’s been almost a year I still consider it early days. The people I’ve met here are very friendly, welcoming and open. The companies I’ve worked for and with and have been fantastic and I’ve been lucky to have worked on some big-name projects and with some exceptionally creative and talented individuals.
One thing I can say about this journey is that I do not regret embarking upon it; I complain about the UK’s quirks and whine about missing Canada, but I generally expected to feel that way coming into it. Taking a chance doing this was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t go back and make a different decision for any reason. It pains me that I hurt some people I love to take this chance, but in the end I know I would’ve always regretted it if I didn’t try. It was a question I asked my sister many years ago when she was considering moving to New York – I asked if she would regret not moving there if she didn’t, knowing what she may miss out on if she stayed in Toronto. She knew the answer – we both did.
It’s safe and easy to live your life according to external expectations, but it has the potential to leave you with regrets. These days I get to spend most of my time with my son and my wife, take long walks around a city looking at beautiful architecture, eat amazing food, play video games, write 2 different blogs, develop shows with creators and companies from around Europe and the UK, and edit wedding Marryoke videos. I didn’t even know what a Marryoke video was before coming here, they’re pretty fun to cut. Meanwhile, Amanda has also embarked on a new career and social path, getting out, meeting people, being a part of various organizations – I’m very proud of how she’s embraced the change in our lives. Camden is…well…running around bumping into things here just the same as he would back in Canada.
I wouldn’t say Year 1 of our journey has inspired some sort of big epiphany in me, but I do look at the value of relationships a lot differently. I realize now how important human connection is, how important my friends and family really are to me. I’m getting to a point where I could do my job anywhere on earth with a stable internet connection, and we’ll need to make a decision in the near future about where we finally want to plant some roots. What will that decision be? Currently, it’s a question I throw to the ether. I may not know what that choice is yet, only that it’ll be the one that makes us all truly happy.
Finally, and most importantly, I’d like to thank my sister Liz for a couple of things – one, for asking me to write this guest post on her fantastic blog - and two, for being a part of what inspired me to take this journey in the first place. Her courage to take a leap into the unknown played no small part in helping push me towards what has been one of the most adventurous, scary, amazing, memorable and important years of my life.
By Gary Heather
(Thank you so much for doing this, Gar! I love you way more than a sister should and I'm definitely going to ask you to guest post again.)
“If you meet up with your family over the holidays, take a family photo. Not enough families do this anymore.”
Remembrance Day
Remembrance Day will always be important to me notably because of my father (and basically everyone else in his family who fought in WWII). It's beyond my comprehension how he was able to handle something like that, but I'll forever be impressed by it.
I was very close with my Uncle Fred (my dad's brother) before he passed away in 2009, so I think of him endearingly on this day as well.
There were ten years between the two of them, but it's uncanny how they resembled one another.
In any case, I hope you stop for a minute at 11am today. And I hope that you do each year, whether you're in school or at work or even at home. It seems important to never stop doing that.