I love Kashi. Eating it makes me feel like I might be doing something right with my day. The Island Vanilla one is especially good. This new flavour, however, is god awful. Does not taste like honey nor sunshine. Trust me. Stay away.
Why Burger King's Satisfries Can Eat A Dick
I know you know that I love gravy - this is a fact. But without the existence of French fries, I would not be able to love gravy as much as I do. So I guess you could say that I love fries more than gravy. That being said, I think I have some valid opinions when it comes to these new "satisfries" - ugh, kill me for even typing that word-atrocity. (Sidenote: if you're judging me for loving fries? Well, that's enough of that. You probably love all kinds of trash that some would scoff at, so check the 'tude at the door. I know for a fact that some people will never respect fry-lovers, and that's cool, you're entitled to that opinion. But still, calm it down.)
Why These Fries Are A Dumb Idea
- I'm sorry, but only 30% less calories? What the hell? Not even a round number like 50%? Who the hell cares about eating something with 30% less of anything? THEY ARE STILL FRIES.
- Idiotic name. Sounds like a joke name.
- I am not of this opinion, but some people think Burger King's regular fries are the grossest of all the fast food places. In this case, why didn't Burger King just take their old ones off the menu and go to town with these? I would've at least understood that move. Plus, if BK suddenly really cares about my diet, why the fuck are you still offering me your old fatty, dirt fries? Get rid of them! It angers me to know that they want me in there, DECIDING between the two choices. That really makes me mad for some reason. Don't pander to me, Burger King.
- It also enrages me to think that someone would order these and THEN FEEL GOOD & HEALTHIER ABOUT THEIR DECISION. These are still fucking French fries. You're still a piece of shit for ordering them. (I know this because I am this every now and again, and I am definitely a piece of garbage for ordering them, but at least I'm aware of this.)
People who love and/or eat fries should know that they're awful for you, always. On another note, this trend of making junk food healthy for you is usually just confusing. If you're changing the badness of a product, you have to change the complete name of what it is! For example, a vegetarian "pizza" with only cooked peppers and mushrooms, on a whole wheat tortilla, with NO cheese on it should no longer be considered a pizza. It has become some sort of unholy, vegetable-attacked type of bread. It can still be delicious like a pizza, but IT AIN'T ONE. Come up with a new name and call it that, 'cause that bitch ain't pizza.
This is a lot of complaining. What they really should have done was get rid of the old fries, introduce these news ones as their primary ones, tell you that they're trying to make people consume less fat and say, "Good day." They should've either done that or NOTHING AT ALL - just BE Burger King, the king of burgers, as you so indicate, and continue killing us all slowly. One or the other. Either one I'm totally cool with. But this? No. Just fucking no. Hate all of this. 'Cause if you're walking into any kind of fast food place, you're not getting something that's good for you. I don't care about any of their health conscious menus, it's all a ruse, you're in there? You're dying young.
Boooooo, Burger King. Boo.
The Urban Peasant
If you grew up in Canada in the nineties, please tell me that you remember this man. The Urban Peasant was a Canadian cooking show starring James Barber and it aired on CBC (and also aired in some states on TLC, I'm told). This was the first cooking show I'd ever seen (this was long before the Food Network) and I loved it dearly. Why? I don't know, maybe 'cause this man was GENTLE AS HELL! And so likable. And everything he made looked deLIGHTful.
I was thinking about him the other day when I saw a man on the street who looked exactly like him, so when I got home I Googled him and found his website. A ton of his recipes can be found there, as well as a DVD of some of the episodes. Can't believe that I forgot about this food pioneer. What a fine man.
(Also, that man on the street was not James Barber. The internet tells me he's quite dead.)
Grimaldi's
Everyone has really specific opinions about good pizza in New York. I do have my own favourite place, but that's mostly because any place that has thick-cut pepperoni will always win my heart. Anyway, I finally went to Zagat's number one rated pizzeria over the weekend.
Why does Grimaldi's suck? Lots of reasons.
- The pizza itself? Fucking average at best.
- The wait time is long (and that would be fine if the pizza had the ability to blow your face off, but is does not). And the line is outdoors (which would be hell in the winter).
- The servers don't give any kind of fucks.
- No liquor license. (In this day and age? Nope. Fuck off.)
Please do not waste your time and go here. Don't do it. I've heard way better things about Juliana's pizza (which is right next door, and is run by the original people behind Grimaldi's), so I'll make sure to try the pizza over there next time. Zagat's can eat it.
I still maintain that the best pizza in New York is at Patsy's (as well as Angelo's, different restaurants, owned by the same people, with the same menu). So if you're really looking for something good, then just go to either of those places. They don't look like much from the outside, but I've never taken someone there who's been disappointed.
Breaking Bad Cupcakes
Come Sunday, I will be making these cupcakes. Crushed up bits of Jolly Rancher candies are used as the meth in this recipe - and honestly, that makes me a little nervous (aren't Jolly Ranchers, like, the hardest of all hard candy? How is that tasty?), so I might substitute those with crushed up blue M&Ms or blue sprinkles or even blue cotton candy. Nevertheless, such a good idea for a treat during the series finale. What else could you indulge in? Maybe some Dimple Pinch, if you're hardcore.
Anyway, just a few ideas to spice up the finale. The show's been great and obviously it'll be missed. Also, did you happen to see RJ Mitte being a babe last month? Yikes. I'm pretty into it.
Murray's Cheese Bar in NYC
This place is nuts. Just nuts.
Look at this mayhem!
THIS is what they let you do to your burger. THIS! What the hell? And I didn't even LEARN that little fact until just now - otherwise I, for sure, would've ordered it had I have known in advance. Cheese selections for the burger include Rarebit Cheddar Sauce, Three Cheese Fondue, Double Creme Brie, Fontina and Creamy Blue Cheese. Doing this to a burger is almost... sordid - and I love it.
Buffalo Cheese Curds = Wisconsin Cheddar curds, Black River Blue Cheese dressing & celery
These are the babies we continuously kept ordering. Three separate times. They're outrageously good. We also ordered the Queso Fundido ("Mexico's answer to fondue: 3 melty goat cheeses with Chorizo, tomato, jalapeno & torilla chips"), which was much too small, but equally glorious. And finally I ordered some burrata, which was a little too salty for my liking - but also, I'm extremely biased because the best burrata I've had in North America is at The Smith, so few places compare.
Burrata aside, this place is fantastic. Just look at the menu. I swear the next time I go I'll be able to get past just ordering a million starters.
Blue Cheese Lollipops
Sometimes I do things so that you don't have to. Let that be known here.
I’m quite sure there isn’t a cheese on this planet that I wouldn’t try. And among the top cheeses that I frequent – blue cheese ranks high. An opportunity presented itself recently where I was offered to sample this blue cheese lollipop.
Does that sound gross? I didn’t think it did. And honestly, only the first and last licks were the most atrocious ones. The inbetween licks however? Actually not completely terrible. They really turned into and tasted like a normal piece of candy for the moments when you weren’t thinking that you were basically sucking on a piece of cheese.(Sidenote: have you ever sucked on a fantastic piece of cheese? Try it. You might be really into it.)
The biggest problem with this treat is the after-breath. I tried to convince my dear friend Jenn to taste one (if only to smell her breath afterward), but she insisted on passing. All she had to say was that I smelled horrid after tasting the ‘pop. And that was only after maybe five licks. I shudder to think what I would’ve smelled like if I’d devoured the whole thing. All in all, are these more gross than appetizing? For sure. Are they fun, though? Bigtime. (They would absolutely kill at a party.) And I'm sure there are some rubes out there who are gonna fake-love the hell out of these just because they're campy. Or possibly some real maniacs who actually enjoy them. Either way, good on you!
After the first taste
After holding the final lick inside for much too long
I also tried their Absinthe flavoured lollipop and was disappointed, since it only tasted like black licorice. I understand that Absinthe does have that flavour, but was saddened at it not having any sort of alcoholic element. If you’re gonna have an Absinthe-flavoured ANYthing, then there needs to be alcohol involved. (Can you even get liquor into a candied treat? I think you can. Though my only example would be rum balls and rum balls are just filth.)
They’re available online at Lollyphile and they cost $10 for four of them.
The Lobster Poutine at Rock Lobster in Toronto
If fries, lobster and/or gravy are any of your favourite foods - put this in your belly immediately. PUT IT. That's all that needs to be said here. (The cocktails at Rock Lobster are wildly good as well.) It has a lobster bisque gravy, Quebec cheese curds (the good kind), fresh lobster and chives. It's obviously delicious and a front runner for one of Toronto's best poutines. It was $13 and worth every curd.
There are two locations in Toronto, go to one of them and better your life.
Food Rules - A Review
“Eating doesn’t have to be so complicated. In this age of ever-more elaborate diets and conflicting health advice, Food Rules brings welcome simplicity to our daily decisions about food. Written with clarity, concision, and wit that has become bestselling author Michael Pollan’s trademark, this indispensable handbook lays out a set of straightforward, memorable rules for eating wisely, one per page, accompanied by a concise explanation. It’s an easy-to-use guide that draws from a variety of traditions, suggesting how different cultures through the ages have arrived at the same enduring wisdom about food. Whether at the supermarket or an all-you-can-eat buffet, this is the perfect guide for anyone who ever wondered, “What should I eat?””
Why should you give this tiny little book a read? Two reasons.
- It'll take you thirty minutes (max) to read it cover to cover.
- It contains a ton of stuff that you should already know - and if you don't, well, you should learn it. And if you knew this stuff already? You're only spending a mere half hour reminding yourself of things that should be reinforced once in awhile.
While a lot of stuff in it is great - a lot of it is pretty much common sense. It doesn't get too technical and it's extremely simple and sound advice for food habits. Since it's such a small book, I only had two favourite parts:
"The healthiest food in the supermarket - the fresh produce - doesn't boast about its healthfulness, because the growers don't have the budget or the packaging. Don't take the silence of the yams as a sign they have nothing valuable to say."
"Drink the spinach water. The water in which vegetables are cooked in is rich in vitamins and other healthful plant chemicals. Save it for soup or add it to sauces."
Obviously, I checked it out at the library because I'm thrifty - but you can also buy it here.
Phenomenal, Low-Fat Banana Bread
Ingredients:
- 7 ripe medium bananas, mashed
- 1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce
- 2-1/2 cups unbleached all purpose flour (I used whole wheat flour, though)
- 1-1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 4 tbsp butter, softened
- 1 cup light brown sugar
- 4 large egg whites
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 3 oz (3/4 cup) chopped walnuts
- baking spray
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350°. Grease two 8x5 inch loaf pans with baking spray.
In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt with a wire whisk. Set aside.
In a large bowl cream butter and sugar with an electric mixer. Add egg whites, bananas, apple sauce and vanilla, and beat at medium speed until thick. Scrape down sides of the bowl.
Add flour mixture and walnuts, then blend at low speed until combined. Do not over mix.
Pour batter into loaf pans and bake on the center rack for 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Let the pan cool at least 20 minutes, bread should be room temperature before slicing.
Recipe taken from Skinny Taste.
I just made this for the first time and good God... it's a great one. Definitely will be my go-to one from now on. It also calls for an electric mixer, but I didn't have one so I used a vigorous motion with my hands. I did one loaf with 1/3 cup of walnuts and the other with 1/3 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips. Just delicious.