This is still the greatest trailer of all time. I watch it maybe once a month. Just so, so good. 

Plus I remember reading this before it came out: 

“It is not acceptable for a grown man to be getting teary-eyed at out-of-context snippets of a movie played at a comic-book convention. And yet there I was, sitting in Hall H, fighting back tears.” – Devin Faraci, after seeing ten minutes of a Where The Wild Things Are at a screening at Comic Con

And just knowing that there were other weirdos out there who had the same strong reaction that I did made me feel less like an adult who needs to get over this damn book. Ugh, what a trailer. 

Django Unchained

Okay, I don’t really know where to start this. It was literally from about the halfway point that I began to loathe the whole movie. I didn’t think the whole thing was terrible, so I feel weird even saying “loathe”. Christoph Waltz was fantastic, he was the absolute best part of the entire thing. I really wish it were just all about him and Django was a smaller, side part or something. Also, Jamie Foxx was good. And Leonardo DiCaprio was whatever, really… just average, but that’s fine ‘cause that wasn’t what bothered me the most. Also, the music was phenomenal. I wanted to look up almost every single song that was played.

I think what irritated me the most was how awful most of the writing was. (Absolutely not the KKK/head cloth scene, that was so great.) As a whole, it just felt like this movie was the first draft of a film school dropout’s attempt at acclaim. Or better yet, a screenplay that was written by a tiny child who goes on and on and on with his never ending, boring-as-hell story – like a story that goes, “And then I went here. And then I did this. And then it was winter. And then this was what we did next. And then I became a bounty hunter.” UGH. So badly told and BORING and I’m sorry, but there was no back story at all to why I would give a shit AT ALL about Django specifically. Okay, yeah. He had a wife. He wanted to get her back. Okay… what the fuck else you got? That’s so fucking DRAB and tired that I lost interest almost immediately.

Also, I’m sorry, but any fucking NOTABLE/GOOD/RESPECTED director does not fucking make a longer-than-a-minute CAMEO in his/her own goddam movie. And I know that’s his thing. That’s what he does. But jesus christ. He’s not an actor. He’s never been one. Get out of the fucking movie. You’re not being “fun”, you’re coming off as an idiot who’s almost saying, “Yeah, this movie is a joke. So I’ll just stroll along here in one scene for fun.” That’s just a personal side note thing of things I hate, but that really pissed me off and always pisses me off in most of his movies. Get off the fucking screen and focus on improving your reprehensible script that you’ve somehow convinced everyone is so good.

I just feel like the whole movie didn’t have enough rewrites. Also, it just felt as if he didn’t care much to edit ANYthing. Obviously it was too long. So many fucking things could and should have been cut. And yeah this is maybe dumb/dense of me, but jesus fuck, I get that it’s supposed to be realistic to that time, but it felt so fucking weird to me to be almost comfortable hearing that n word after the billionth time it was said. At first, of course it’s just, you know, awful to hear, but literally after the fiftieth time, it almost became comfortable to hear because of overuse – and I don’t really care if that was the intent or not, I fucking hated it, the overuse of that, which seemed completely unnecessary to do in excess and a lazy excuse for trying to get an audience passionately against the obvious villains. I get what he was trying to do, but it just fell apart completely in execution. Again, that’s just my opinion. So, so disappointing. Of course there were a tiny, few good parts/things that I laughed at/liked, but as a whole… MAN. I’ll never want to see it again. And this sucks to feel ‘cause I can’t find anyone else who felt this way yet. Spike Lee doesn’t count, ‘cause Spike Lee can eat it since we each hated it for different reasons. 

Numerous people have called me a moron for not liking it, and that’s all well and fine. Even I was confused by my level of disdain at the end of this movie. 

The Dark Knight Rises

The following post will only be enjoyed/hated by people who saw the movie. If you haven’t seen it/don’t care? Oh, go take a look at Like Cool or something - that site’s great. 

Okay, it came out six months ago. I realize that. But this vessel/tumblr hadn’t existed in that time and space, so it’s gotta get said now before my angst dies down over time. (Edit Note: six months passing HAS NOT LESSENED MY RAGE.)

That movie? What a piece of trash. I really, really didn’t like it. And that erroneously sucked ‘cause I was really, really excited as I’m sure most people were. Main reasons?

• I couldn’t understand 75% of what Bane said.
• The fact that Marion Cotillard was that dude’s daughter?! UGH. My boyfriend Nathan said it best when he compared that part to something CUT from SCREAM 4. Just one too many stupid twists. Also, no one cares. 
• WAY too long and didn’t need to be (that storyline of one of the police guys (in the white shirt) who stays at home with his wife instead of going out with the force? And then he ends up dead?! NO POINT TO THIS STORYLINE WHATSOEVER). So much unnecessary stuff could’ve been cut. 
• Catwoman having NO DEPTH AS A CHARACTER AT ALL. Seriously, just ridiculously one-dimensional. And what ticks me off the most about this is the fact that Gloria Steinem had such wonderful things to say (see here to see what) about her character (and maybe she would’ve said anything kind since Christian Bale’s her stepson, not sure) and how she was such a good woman character — SHE WAS NOT! IT ENRAGES ME THAT PEOPLE WILL LISTEN TO HER! But they will, ‘cause she’s Gloria fucking Steinem and every (almost) feminist in the world looks to her for her opinions on this kind of junk. (Sidenote: I don’t even hate her, she’s so smart about some stuff, but GOD. We can’t all be smart about everything).
• I’m sorry, but Bane isn’t a great character. Maybe in the comic book, but not in this movie. Especially when the whole movie is based around him and then suddenly at the end, well that’s over with, and you find out that it really was about fucking MARION COTILLARD! …Okay, maybe it seems like I’m just hating on women. And I am. But not JUST them. 
• The part with the millions of zoom-in shots of that goddam timeclock on the bomb at the end? Are we serious here? This isn’t a joke? It’s almost a funny SIMPSONS joke to have that many pans/shots of a bomb’s clock back and forth constantly since THIS IS 2013 AND MOVIES HAVE BEEN DOING THAT FOR AGES and it’s almost satire at this point. But especially to do that in this movie? This movie is SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD, for christsake. 
• Batman magically gets back to Gotham in time when he leaves that pit? With no money? Or a plane? ALL right then. 
• AND he doesn’t get blown to pieces when he flies that bomb away?! Ohhh ok. Got it.
• BUT WAIT, not only is he alive, but he also ENDS UP ON A FUCKING DATE WITH CATWOMAN IN THE GODDAM FRENCH RIVIERA OR SOME SHIT?! UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.
• HE SHOULD’VE DIED! That would’ve at least made an amazing ending for the Nolan trilogy.

So terrible. (As the tiniest sidenote, for sure a few things made me laugh… but that’s so small in comparison to it all.)

Also, Alfred was the best character. And if the fucking BUTLER is the best character in a movie? Go to hell. That’s bullshit. 

There are tons of other things I thought that were bad but a lot of them got blurred after the crazy awfulness of what happened in Aurora. But mostly, I know… everyone was just so pumped ‘cause of the last movie and there was never any way this could compare, I get that. And I get that it’s a goddam superhero movie and maybe I should’ve been able to suspend my belief more? But no, saying that is bullshit. If you’re disagreeing with me right now and going, “But, Liz, it’s a superhero movie. Calm down.” You go to hell, ‘cause that’s ridiculous. At the end of it all, it’s still a Christopher Nolan movie and so, it’s all right to expect it TO BE WATCHABLE/GOOD because that man is fantastic at what he does (typically speaking).