The 10 Best End-of-School Movies

I've been out of high school for what feels like an eternity and yet I still have an affinity for watching these movies this time of year. Is it because I loved and really miss high school? God no, absolutely not. It’s because I remember watching some of these when I was in middle school and really, really anticipating my high school years and hoping they’d be something like these movies. They were not. But that’s cool, ‘cause, as it tends to, life gets a lot better once you turn 21. In so many respects. But that’s another post. 

You may not agree with some of these choices since, you know, you’re a human with opinions of your own, so be forewarned. 

With Honors

10. With Honors

Considering that I haven’t seen this movie in over twenty years, it still deserves to be list-worthy. When I was a kid I was bold enough to list it as my favourite movie up until I was twelve years old. I feel like Joe Pesci was really hoping for this to be the role he'd be remembered for (maybe I'm way off on that), and he made quite an impression on me at the time. I saw this and thought, “That man’s an actor.” He couldn’t be greater. Brendan Fraser's in it, too. I don't know why I told you that, though. That helps nothing here. 

Pretty In Pink

9. Pretty In Pink

Now this is really on the list 'cause of James Spader. Look at that man. What a dick and what a dreamboat. I saw this movie when I was nine and it was the first time I thought, “God, he's such an asshole... but I could probably change him, though.” So that's memorable for me and made it even more enjoyable. (Sidenote: I never understood why any teen boy was ever into Molly Ringwald. I always thought it was 'cause of her adorable name 'Molly' but then abandoned that idea since boys seemed to care more about thinness and boobs and not how precious a girl's name was?) 

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

8. Fast Times at Ridgemont High

I saw this when I was probably too young, but will cherish it forever. That moment when Judge Reinhold is dreaming about Phoebe Cates taking her swimsuit off? Christ. I was just a kid, but that was intense for anyone who saw it. Also, all the abortion stuff in the movie? That was pretty risqué for me to see at such a tender age, so that made me love it even more. The one thought that I remember having after seeing this at the time? "All those kids are having sex too young. Where the hell are their parents?" I also remember thinking, "Sean Penn doesn't seem like a good actor, I hope he has other skills."

Adventureland

7. Adventureland

I can't really pinpoint why I liked this one so much. Maybe 'cause it seems so hard to do an end-of-school movie that's actually good nowadays? Maybe that's what impressed me? Or maybe it's 'cause Kristen Wiig can do no wrong and Bill Hader is perfect. They should've had way more screen time. 

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

6. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Everything about this movie makes me happy. Cameron, the reckless driving, the sneakiness, the fancy lunch, the shitty sister, the pool, the dancing, the parade, all of it. Just makes me feel good inside. I've been waiting for the day that I can find a replica of Sloane Peterson's jacket so I can complete the finest Halloween costume that no one will ever get (those shorts were surprising easy to find).

Police Academy 2

5. Police Academy 2

Now this one definitely does not fall into the aforementioned category, I'm aware. Why am I including it? Only because I would watch this movie and the beautiful sequels almost every other day during any of my summers off school. It's hard to remember why I found them so entertaining, to be honest. It was probably their image of what "the city" was like. So rugged, so dangerous. To this day, they make me immensely happy. I think we've all been searching for our Sgt. Mahoney. Guttenberg was/is a gem. Did you see him on Party Down? Just great.

Can't Hardly Wait

4. Can't Hardly Wait

All right, all right, I know what you're thinking. But have you seen this movie? Did you see it when it came out? 'Cause it's still great. Maybe I'm swayed by my brother thinking that this was the greatest thing to come out of the nineties, or maybe in time you'll see how good this movie actually was. Ethan Embry just looks like a puppy in it, does that make sense? How is that a bad thing? Just sweet as hell. 

Jack

3. Jack

This is my absolute favourite Francis Ford Coppola movie. Say what you will and cast your judgements - Robin Williams is perfection in this movie. PERFECTION. Love, love, love. And young Jennifer Lopez? Yikes. Too hot.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

2. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

I love this movie intimately. Definitely better than Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. Why? No idea. Just watched it a billion times as a child and fell in love with the Robbi Rob song "In Time" that's on the soundtrack. Also, the story is original as hell (or it was to a child’s mind). My brother recently told me that he thought of the perfect way that someone should propose to me.  (Is that normal? It's fine, we're just close.) He said that the man should play that song in the movie for me and strum his hands in the air à la Bill & Ted in this scene, and then say, "Let's be excellent to each other." ...And my mouth fucking DROPPED at how perfect an idea that was. In reality, I don't actually want that, but what a brilliant idea. Maybe if I marry Keanu Reeves - yeah, that'd be amazing in that case.

Dazed & Confused

1. Dazed & Confused

If this is an obvious choice for number one, well, good! I hope it is! There is no other option, in my opinion. I make sure to watch this every single June, I love it. Makes me feel young again. Maybe it's that Aerosmith song that makes it perfect - or maybe it's because it forces me to remember the incomparable Nicky Katt from Boston Public. Whatever it is, just a fine piece of movie right here. 

Please don't raise your voice at the fact that movies like American Pie or Ghost World didn't make the cut.  You want to include them on your list? Go ahead! I'd love to hear what you got and why. (Edit note: Sorry about being rough on Brendan Fraser. Don't know where that came from.)

2024 UPDATE: I might need to make this post a top 11 list instead of 10 because it’s a sin that Booksmart isn’t mentioned. Absolutely great movie.

The Wolf of Wall Street

Not a super fan of anyone involved, but this looks really good. 

Epic - A Review

I just saw Epic with my seven year old niece, Layla. Here are some thoughts.

Thoughts After Seeing The Trailer

• Did that girl’s dad shrink her down ‘cause he’s a scientist? 'Cause Honey, I Shrunk The Kids is a classic and if kids today haven't seen that movie... well, that's a damn shame and I blame the parents.
• Wait, is Beyonce’s character white, just with a wicked tan? 
• I will forever love red haired main characters. No reason for that - really, no reason! I just like it so much more than plain Jane brown haired ones or too bright blondes. Animated red hair just makes my eyes smile.  
• Fuck, this is the second Owl City song I like. If there's a third, that's gonna be rough to deal with.
  
• The line: “Just because you haven’t seen something doesn’t mean it’s not there” – already been used, buds. The Santa Clause. With the incomparable Tim Allen. 

Thoughts After Seeing The Movie

• Everyone, young and old, likes Aziz Ansari.
• Happy to realize that the dad didn't infact shrink her down. What did cause that? Beyonce's magic. Okay, cool. 
• Kids really like to have conversations with you during movies. And I think I really like it. Just 'cause, like, they're not trying to be dicks or anything - they just have thoughts they needa get out, so they use their normal speaking voice to let you hear them. Lotta respect for that.
• Amanda Seyfried sounds identical to Zooey Deschanel at times.   
• Okay, maybe I'm way out of line here, but I feel like the people over at Blue Sky Studios really wanted me to come out of the theatre with an overwhelming urge to serve my country. The whole movie reminded me of that Simpsons episode where Bart joins a boy band that secretly is trying to enlist kids to join the Navy. In Epic, the whole leaf men storyline of them being protectors of the forest? And how no one is alone if there's someone fighting next to them? Are we kidding here? Just a theory, but come on. It was weird. 

All in all, not the worst, and not the best. Layla enjoyed it, so that's all I need at this point. And I had no choice but to see it in 3D. Still no love for that "feature", but that's a whole other topic. Carry on with your day. Thanks for reading.

(Sidenote: I will sincerely and dearly love Mr. Tim Allen probably for the remainder of my days. Man’s dynamite.)

Frances Ha - (Not Really) A Review

Not sure I can call this a review since all I really want to say is: GO SEE IT!  

It's really good! And I was in a terrible mood before having seen it, too! So that's gotta mean something if it was able to pull me out of my misery. It was charming and so well written, please go see it.  

Edit note: From now on, I will not call eager suggestions "reviews" in the future. 

The Greatly Disappointing Gatsby - A Review

I didn’t hate The Great Gatsby. And I know that a lot of my reviews tend to get really angry really quickly, so I'm not gonna go crazy over-analyzing this one. But here are some things that bothered me:

• No way you can play a 32 year old anymore, Leo. No way. 
• Tobey Maguire. Yeah, just his essence bothered me. How has he lasted as an actor? He has one face! You know the face! This face! 

And that's it! There are no other expressions! I don’t understand why people keep putting him in movies. He’s like a houseplant or something – just someone who sort of hangs out near other stuff happening. 

• There were lots of really corny parts, especially that first "reveal" of Leonardo DiCaprio’s face at the party.
• Hated the way lines from the novel were plastered across the screen. Hated that so much.  
• Also, in almost all of their scenes together, I kept thinking that Gatsby and Nick Carraway were about point three seconds away from some hardcore making out. Which would've be great. Just the tension of it all was way too overacted and weird.  
• TOO. LONG. 

And yeah, the clothing and set design were great. But that's it. I heard some teenage girls leaving the theatre afterward and they loved it. So maybe this just wasn’t a movie that I was supposed to enjoy? That’s probably it. 

Anyway, suckfest.

Pink Ribbons, Inc. - A Review

My boyfriend is the one who told me that I needed to watch this - and to be honest, I didn’t really get why he was insisting repeatedly. I know that he watches a lot of documentaries, but I thought, “Ugh. That sounds just… boring,” as awful as that statement is to admit. I didn’t feel like sitting through an hour and a half of hearing just how terrible breast cancer really is and listening to stories and specifics on why. I know these things. Not know them like some others do, but I’m as little aware as I thought I needed to be. (Most of this paragraph makes me sound like a monster, and I’m aware of that.)

This is not a movie solely about breast cancer and those affected by it. I initially thought that’s what it was about, and it could not be further from that. 

Here’s the best description of it that I could find (and even this does not quite do it justice):

“Breast cancer has become the poster child of corporate cause-related marketing campaigns. Countless women and men walk, bike, climb and shop for the cure. Each year, millions of dollars are raised in the name of breast cancer, but where does this money go and what does it actually achieve? Pink Ribbons, Inc. is a feature documentary that shows how the devastating reality of breast cancer, which marketing experts have labeled a “dream cause,” becomes obfuscated by a shiny, pink story of success.” Written by The National Film Board of Canada

It took me about fifteen minutes into the film to finally understand what this was going to be about, so I can only suggest you sit through that first part and wait for it to really begin. 

The whole piece is crazy well done, in my opinion, and I’ll probably continue to tell people that fact for maybe about a week or so - or however long the sensation of seeing something really great lasts.

Here’s an excerpt from it that lingered in my mind, for whatever reason:

“I particularly reject the word survivor as a label for myself. Not only because I’m a little superstitious, since who knows - but also because it seems to me to be a put down of those women who don’t survive.”

There were so many things covered that I’ve never been even slightly aware of, so I’m just glad to have seen it. It’s just an extremely eloquent, unbiased (but in the classiest kind of unbiased way) documentary. Definitely see it.

Henry, age 8, watches Forrest Gump. →

kellyoxford:

Henry: Wow, he doesn’t use commas when he talks.
Henry: Is Tom Hanks handicapped in real life?
Henry: Their house is huge.
Henry: I can’t believe Elvis stole his moves, gave him no credit. Not cool.
Henry: Is he going to sit on that bench and tell this story for the whole movie?
Henry: His braces broke off his legs and he’s a normal kid, running? He just left Jenny? Shouldn’t he be tired of running?
Henry: Oh man he joins the ARMY!? WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT!?
Henry: This Bubba guy is awesome, but he’s gonna die. In every army movie the first friend the main character meets, dies. Poor Bubba’s gonna die.
Henry: Oh my god, I love Bubba and this shrimp stuff.
Henry: Jenny is in Playboy? Is this a stripper show? She’s totally a stripper.
Henry: Jenny you can’t outrun a bullet. She told him to run.
Henry: YES. WAR SCENES. FINALLY. Why doesn’t Forrest have the cool gun?
Henry: Man, Vietnam would have been fun… until you had to go out and fight and die.
Henry: His platoon leader is just like my teacher. “Sit down. Shut up.”
Henry: I love Bubba.
Henry: I love how Forrest talks.
Henry: OH NO JENNY IS A HIPPIE.
Henry: Knew it. Is Bubba dead?
Henry: Was Forrest the only one who made it out, standing? Hey, this is what you have to do in Call of Duty. When you’re being carried out, you need to pull out a handgun.
Henry: Oh Bubba isn’t good. Man. I knew it. He died. Everyone’s best friend always gets shot.
Henry: Why would lieutant Dan rather be dead than get prosthetics? That’s dumb.
[Sal walks in]
Sal: Do hippies work? At all?
Henry: Dick Clark was so young then. He’s old now. He’s dead.
Henry: Jenny is so stupid.
Henry: Wait. BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP?!?! IS THIS A TRUE STORY?!
Sal: I like that the Apple symbol used to be rainbow.
Henry: I’d never cut grass for free.
Sal: Jenny is a mess.
Henry: Jenny is a mess.
Henry: He’s going to be really depressed now.
Sal: Jenny is terrible.
Henry: “His daddy’s name is Forrest? Just like me?” He’s an idiot.
Henry: Is it over? I want to know more about his cute little kid.
Sal: SEQUEL. That’s my new favorite movie.

Oz: The Great and Powerful - A Review

I just want to start this off by saying that I thought I would for sure like this movie. I really did. I’m not hating here for the sake of hating. I do want to watch it again in maybe a year or so to see if I feel the same as I do right now.

Thoughts

(Gonna do this in points. Points are punchier.)

• Before going into it, I didn’t know that David Lindsay-Abaire had anything to do with it at all - so to read that he had a hand in writing this?! Well, that’s pretty big. He’s a proper writer. Expectations were definitely set a bit higher. I wish I’d never seen that credit. This shit could have been written by any old loser.
• I feel like anyone who was associated with The Wizard of Oz should be really upset that this movie got made. And I don’t even LOVE The Wizard of Oz or anything. 
• James Franco was terrible and I like James Franco usually. 
• Where the fuck have you been, Zach Braff? Good for you getting a part in a big movie. Just good for you. Scrubs was funny sometimes. Glad you’re doing all right.
• People CLAPPED at the end up it? What the hell? No. I don’t condone that. Not even for good movies. I will maybe allow clapping at the BEGINNING of a movie, since that’s just adorable you’re so excited. But at the end? Ugh, no. Way. Also, as a tiny sidenote: those idiots who clap when a plane lands? Are we kidding here? You’re clapping because something that is SUPPOSED to happen, happens. Okay then. Do people clap for you when you make it to work on time? No. We’re all clapping too much. And I don’t get it. It’s devaluing the act of clapping.
• And you know what? Maybe I didn’t even hate the movie. Maybe I was just too affected by the atmosphere. I was at an 8:30pm showing on a Saturday – so yeah, going at that time is my own damn fault. The woman beside me had some sort of nervous tick in her leg and it wouldn’t stop bouncing the entire time. There were at least three children in that theatre under the age of two. One dude snored through half of it and during the other half – he’d laugh at jokes, not with a laugh, but a gentle and prolonged, “Ahhhhhhhh!” So yeah. The theatre that night wasn’t great. Oh and also, why would it be a good idea to bring back theatre ushers? I’ll tell you why. So that when some moron’s phone starts ringing, an usher can literally usher them the fuck outside. Absurd that that’s not a thing. Movie tickets keep getting more expensive and for what? What better fucking services are they coming up with? HIRE USHERS! The food ain’t getting better. The seats ain’t comfy as hell. There’s shit all OVER those floors. PAY humans to become ushers and to make it a better theatre experience, and then maybe I’ll consider being excited by the idea of a goddam “3D experience”.
• On another topic – 3D? I just… I can’t. I really can’t. If you’re mentally aroused by the idea of putting those fucking glasses on, then you’re part of the problem. I have nothing to say to you. You are as awful as 3D - I hope you’re very happy together.

Bill Cunningham New York (Documentary)

This man seems like the nicest man on the planet. The whole thing centers around this fashion photographer who works for The New York Times, and is known for his candid and street photography. I don’t follow fashion stuff, but this was so enjoyable to watch. And I think about this line from it often:

"Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life."

Catching Hell - ESPN Documentary

I saw this documentary for the first time about a year ago, and since then I’ve probably seen it maybe three or four more times. I can’t really pinpoint what’s so interesting about it, to be honest, but for some reason I feel the urge to watch it again when I forget about it after a little while. Anyway, before I go on, here’s a summary of it taken from when it was at the Tribeca Film Festival:

When Chicagoan Steve Bartman fatefully deflected a foul ball in Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS, the city’s long-suffering Cubs fans found someone new to blame for their cursed century without a World Series title. Director Alex Gibney explores the psychology of die-hard sports fans, the frightening phenomenon of scapegoating, and the hysteria that turned mild-mannered Bartman into the most hated man in Chicago. 

If you’re not into sports, I think it’s still possible for you to get something outta seeing this. I’m really not that into sports, but I do have a soft spot for baseball, so maybe that has something to do with why I think this is so worth seeing. Also, if I ever meet this man, I will want to continuously hug him for five straight minutes. Let the record show.  

You can see all the parts on YouTube here.