Correspondence

by Liz Heather in

I write letters every so often, and you're probably going to get a birthday card from me in the mail if we've met more than 3.2 times. Why is this? It isn't because I'm kinder than you are - it's because I love mail. And typically speaking, the more you give the more you get. And really, receiving any kind of handwritten mail is just so romantic to me. Even if it's from someone whom I have no romantic feelings for. It's just a sweet thought to think of someone sitting at a desk for a minute and writing out my address with their fingers. Fuck, that's so nice. 

Why is it great to write letters or send cards?

  • No one has any time to be calling all the important people in his/her life every week or even month - but a letter is so much easier to write and send, in my opinion. And the best part? It's one way. They can choose to reply or not! I love that! 

  • Whenever people go away, they will usually always send me a postcard since they know how into correspondence I am - and I love postcards. Pictures of great places, with words about how great it is? Yes, please! 

  • The amount of effort put into writing and sending any form of letter or card is so minimal, but that same effort seems so large when received. And that's great! Minimal effort, but with a nice payoff.

  • One day I will be dead. And how will you know it? You'll stop receiving cards from me. I really think a lot of people will find out that way, about my death. Is that abnormal to think about? I think I like it. Someone off somewhere just going, "Hmmm... Liz hasn't sent anything this year. She must have passed on. Sad." That idea seems so nice to me. (I'm taking liberties with assuming the "Sad." line, I realize.)

  • Sometimes people forget that you love or care about them. And really, there are so many people in all of our lives, it's hard to keep track of them all especially when we're so invested in our own junk going on. So sending something once in awhile is just a gentle reminder that, "Hey! You're being thought of!" Which, I think, is always an instant boost.

Now if you're sitting there going, "Hey dummy, y'ever heard of email?" -- don't speak to me like that. Email is wonderful. My problem with it is that it's too fast. Sometimes I don't want to write to someone and know that I'll get their reply instantly. I feel like doing that lessens whatever words we've exchanged. Not because they weren't meaningful, but because the whole experience was too quick for me to put any value in it - and likely, I'll forget about it even more quickly and move on to other things going on in my day. Everyone's in such a hurry, and I don't want to be in a hurry with them. 

Even if you do it once a year, please mail someone something. Guaranteed it'll make them happier for even just a second. 

I didn't intend for this to be so long, I apologize. If I had your address, I could've just mailed this to you and saved us all some time.

You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

Yearly Photo Books

by Liz Heather in ,

I haven't had photos printed in quite a long time. And that doesn't really make a lot of sense since I still take photos often. So I decided to start making yearly photo books. I started doing this last year in 2012 - and all you do is compile all the memorable photos from that year and upload them into a photo book. There are tons of sites that do this for you, but the one I've been using has been Snapfish. (You could always do this yourself, with printing the photos yourself and putting them in an album yourself - but my way is way faster and easier, I think. And possibly cheaper, depending on where you print your photos.) (I paid $30 for a book with about 222 photos in it, and I got to arrange how I wanted it to look, also.)

The goal here is to make one of these books each January. To be honest, I wish I'd started doing it sooner. When I someday have tons of free time and money isn't an issue, then I'll make sure to go back and get those past years done. Also, if you are taking photos in your everyday life, well, you can't rely on computers to always keep them safe. I do have an external hard drive, but that isn't the main issue here. I want to actually see these photos once in awhile! And having a handy little book full of them is way more attractive an idea than rummaging through files on a screen, in my opinion. 

Again, I've been using Snapfish and if you do choose to make one, they're having a sale right now until November 24th where they have 60% off photo books with the code BOOKNOV60. I would say that this would be a good gift for someone, but it's really a way better gift for yourself since you're the one with access to all the photos you want to save. (There are also mad deals on Groupon every so often, so check there, too.)

Also, am I the only one who actually enjoys it when someone brings out a photo album? 'Cause I love the hell out of that shit. Not the albums of strangers (I'm not a mutant), but of people I know? C'mon. That's adorable. 

Fury of the Day - Comedians Who Do Impressions

by Liz Heather in

I'm not talking about your Uncle Bob here (though I silently doubt that his Walken is amazing). I'm talking about comedians who do impressions. Oh, and also the people WHO LOVE HEARING THESE IMPRESSIONS - you're a big part of this problem. 

Before I go on, let me state that I absolutely can admit when I hear a great impression of someone. Bill Hader's version of Alan Alda? Get out of here. I will be the first one to stand and say, "Hey! That was great! Good on you." I cannot, however, encourage comedians on a stage who do them in excess. If you have more than five seconds of impressions in a set? Walk slowly into the ocean. 

I wish I could shake every comedian alive and beg them not to do them - for three main reasons.

  1. Impressions are never funny. A "funny impression" of a person does not exist. If it's a good one, then it's just accurate. And if it's accurate - then cool, you have the ability to sound like that other guy. Wicked. And if it's a bad impression? Oh man, I couldn't hate you more. You're not even good at the thing that you think I want to see?! Fuck.

  2. The thought of someone sitting in their room, practicing some other person's voice or mannerisms makes me very sad. I apologize if that sounds condescending, but it's really fucking depressing to me. (Unless you're considering yourself an impressionist who ONLY does impressions, that is. But that's never the case.) They could be using that time to fucking think up original or personal insights to offer people, maybe.

  3. Jokes and stories are memorable - your fucking DeNiro is not. I will likely vomit if I'm subjected to it. It's come to a point now that when I see someone even slightly attempt any kind of impression on stage, my eyes close gently as my mind shuts down in a furious rage. It's at that moment that I'll definitely think this person is awful to the core and also sort of dumb, for some reason. And I don't want to hold that prejudice! Years of witnessing impressions has forced me into this, unfortunately.

I understand why people want to get good at impressions - it's because almost everyone fucking loves hearing them. Why the hell is this? I wish I could fucking tell you, but I have no idea.

Oh hey, you know that guy in that movie you loved? Well, we don't have him. Yeah, he's crazy busy. But we got this other guy... and you're gonna be blown away by how much they sound alike. Like, it's eerie. AND IT WILL MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND IN EXCITEMENT.

And I know that I can't stop them. At this very moment, somewhere out there someone is perfecting the hell out of their goddam Seinfeld and there's nothing I can do about it. Makes me so mad.

You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.

Gary & Amanda's Baby Shower

by Liz Heather in ,

At some point in your life, you're going to throw someone a baby shower. Here's how I did it!

Sample invitation

Sample invitation

In my opinion, the best invitations are available on Etsy. I went with Olive Berry Paper and they came out adorable. To be accurate, the shower was supposed to be based on a woodland theme, but came out much more owl-y (but WHO minded? No one!) (I know, booooo, I'm sorry about that.) Honestly, my main goal for the event was to have it not be lame. I hate baby games. I hate large groups of adults playing games. No one needs any of it. I just wanted to have a simple time, with edible food, based around things that that the couple (my brother and sister-in-law) would enjoy.

Bread basket

This was the bread basket - the bread was from Cobs Bread and you need to eat some of this bread if you live anywhere near Toronto or Mississauga. This stuff tastes nuts. I'm forever thankful to Marla for turning me onto it. The little mushrooms are just mozzarella sticks with grape tomato halves on top in a sea of arugula. I would've wanted to spread that all over the table, but arugula is pricey. 

Owl cheese

This is the owl cheese that I made with my patient and loving niece Tianna. There's an instructional blog post about how to make one here. 

Poutine cups

I wish I'd taken proper photos of these guys, but this is the only one that exists. These are the mini poutine cups I assembled. These were not difficult at all - I just got the jars from the dollar store (three for a dollar), bought the Wendy's fries and gravy individually that morning (no way was I gonna make that myself, plus it was the couple's favourite fast food poutine) and got the cheese curds from the grocery store. Easy peasy. I got the idea for this when I saw this site while I was searching for baby shower ideas. And fries are always better than vegetables. 

Caesar Salad Bites

Caesar Salad Bites

I love the idea of cleanly eating a Caesar salad, so obviously I really wanted to do these.  You can find the recipe here. And I don't have a photo of it, but the world's best spinach and artichoke dip exists here and needs to be eaten by everyone alive. Some other things that were served that I, unfortunately, don't have photos of are the wraps that I ordered from Whole Foods (which were surprisingly really good - the blackened chicken salad one especially), my sister-in-law Cindy's amazing stuffed mushrooms, this pasta salad (just add pasta to the recipe) and lychees that came in a can (Who the hell knew they came in cans?! That's amazing.) - and now here are the desserts:

Acorn Cookies

Again, not the greatest photo, but here's what they sort of looked like. 

Strawberries w/ Cool Whip and Nutella

Owl Sugar Cookies

Owl Sugar Cookies

And of course I didn't make these owl cookies - look at them! They're perfect! I bought them off Etsy. 

Cake!

Cake!

And this gorgeous cake was made by the beautiful Laurie. Look at this cake! YOU can't make a cake like this! Obviously it was delicious. 

All in all, not very stressful to plan. Party Pail had pretty much all the decorations I needed, with numerous dollar store runs as well. These owl frames were in the favor boxes, alongside a small satchel of cookies and cream Hershey's kisses. 

And while it's too time consuming to list every song that I had on the playlist that I had on in the background, here's one that's just perfect for a baby shower.

The White Stripes We're Going to be Friends

(I apologize that some of the photographs aren't better, my focus was elsewhere. Won't happen again.)

White Poppies? Fuck Off.

by Liz Heather in

Not enough words for how much this enrages me. I almost don't want to have too strong of an opinion here since, well, people can do whatever they want and everyone has that right. But I find this whole thing tactless, disrespectful and wildly ignorant. 

 

"A handful of university students have hopped aboard the left-wing Rideau Institute's "white poppy" bandwagon for Remembrance Day, promoting their pacifist ideology by piggybacking on the Royal Canadian Legion's red poppy campaign.

"Young people don't want to celebrate war," Celyn Dufay of the University of Ottawa said. "We want to work for peace."

With the imposing National War Memorial behind him, Dufay unveiled a pin Monday he and a gaggle of activists will distribute this week.

The pin puts the Rideau Institute's "I Remember for Peace" slogan on a white poppy - a controversial symbol that has angered the legion before.

Bill Maxwell, secretary of the legion's poppy remembrance committee, said Dufay and the Rideau Institute don't understand Remembrance Day symbols.

"The red poppy is a symbol of sacrifice," Maxwell said. "It's not a glorification of war."

Conservative MP Erin O'Toole, a military helicopter navigator before entering politics, said the red poppy already stands for peace.

"That peace came at the cost of many, many lives," O'Toole said. "So, to run a simultaneous (white poppy) campaign that really detracts from the day I think is not only inappropriate, it actually undermines the message."

Dufay hopes to distribute about 2,500 white poppy pins, including at the national Remembrance Day ceremony next week.

Maxwell said that won't go over well with veterans.

"I think they may even take it personally," he said. "I'm sure they would."

Dufay said he'll distribute the pins anyway.

"We can't account for other people's feelings, however, no one has a monopoly over Remembrance Day," he said."