Winter List 2015

This is how I feel about winter.

Everyone keeps telling me that this is going to be a mild winter, so I'm going to try as hard as possible to make that not so. Ya know, with my mind. So we shall see.

What will I do this winter? Oh, I don't know - maybe a little of this, a little of that. JUST KIDDING HERE'S THE LIST.

1. FINALLY try to make cauliflower crust for a pizza. I've been wanting to do this forever and now that I have an oven and a pizza pan, I have no more excuses not to make one.

2. Visit the Martha Stewart Café in Chelsea. It opened in March and I still haven't gone, which makes zero sense since I whole-heartedly support this woman.

3. Finally visit Fraunces Tavern, the city's oldest building. I've been meaning to go here for years, I gotta get on this.

4. Make homemade vanilla extract. I didn't even know you could do this until recently, definitely have to attempt it.

5. Eat a By Chloe vegan burger. I keep seeing these open up around the city and I'm constantly told that they're as good as regular burgers, so I will eat one and tell you if people are lying.

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10 Things To Do Before Christmas

I know that I'm still working on my autumn list of things to do, but here's the thing - autumn and Christmastime kind of overlap since the first day of winter is December 21st (did you think it was in November? 'Cause I did up until MAYBE last year). Anyway, Christmastime is happening and Imma get all up in it this year. Here's what I want to do. 

1. Have drinks at the Waldorf Astoria. I've only done this once before and it was beautifully decorated for the holidays, so I really want to go again. (Update: since it’s 2022 and the Waldorf is still under construction - a better suggestion would be The Plaza or The Peninsula.)

2. Bake those cupcakes with the ice cream cone Christmas tree because those look badass.

3. Donate any old blankets, clothes & shoes (if you have kids, it might be a good idea to donate some of their old toys).

4. Mail our (personalized) Christmas cards. It'd be weird if this didn't happen.

5. Look for local Christmas fairs to visit (like these in New York or these in Toronto).

6. Decorate the house and put up the tree!

7. Wear new pajamas on Christmas morning.

8. Go see the decorations at The Plaza Hotel & Macy's.

9. Buy some mistletoe at Trader Joe's.

10. Take a family portrait.

I encourage you to make a list of your own, not because I love lists but because if you do make one, then you're likely to actually complete some of these things and have a memorable December.

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Friend Anniversaries

I'm not sure why friend anniversaries aren't as recognized as romantic ones, but I vow to change that. I guess they're less common because it's harder to pinpoint the exact moment upon which you became friends with someone. Thankfully, I met one of my closest friends Jenn when my brother Gary was visiting me, so I know the exact date and year - which happens to have been eight years ago today! 

We have taken many trips and videos together and I'm thankful as hell to have this fine woman in my life. 

If you care to see more of our videos (why would you? We're great!), you can find some of them over here. Happy Anniversary, my love!

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Portrait Sketch

Thank you for the portrait, @aplsd21!

A photo posted by Liz Heather (@lizheather) on Nov 22, 2015 at 9:11pm PST

This is a portrait that was drawn of me by the talented Gregg Vance Emery over the weekend at the Poetry Brothel. He can typically be found at all of their events, walking around and sketching people he sees for free.

Annoyance of the Day - Gift Receipts

I hope you know where I'm going with this. What's so annoying about gift receipts? THE ABSENCE OF THEM.

(And before I go on, if you find this post selfish or crass, please don't ever get me a gift. If you're that sensitive about such a topic, I can't imagine you'd be a good gift-giver anyway.) 

Now, why are people so anti-gift receipts? Those tiny pieces of paper are beautiful little angels who WANT you to enjoy the money that has been spent on you! The mere existence of them is one of the greatest advancements in our modern society. Hey! You don't like your gift? That's cool, go pick out something else you DO like and don't waste that hard-earned money that was spent on your behalf! That's all they're saying, why are they not more used?!

I'm not alluding that for every gift I get, I want a gift receipt attached to it - I'm not some sort of demon. But if you're buying someone a gift and you're asked the question, "Do you want a gift receipt with your purchase?" - why the hell is the answer ever NO?! Who has the abnormally high confidence that every gift they've ever bought has been the absolute perfect gift? 

Oh, and the weirdos who give you a gift, you open it and then they say, "I have a gift receipt if you want it" - are we kidding here? Why did you not just include it in the box?! You want me to ask you for it?! I already told you that I'm NOT a demon, so no - I don't think I'll be asking you for that little piece of paper. 

It's so simple. You get a gift receipt. You include with the gift. If the gift sucks, the receiver doesn't have to throw out something they'll feel badly about. They can, God forbid, GET SOMETHING THEY ACTUALLY WANT. Why is this a difficult concept? 

Okay. I'm getting heated up here. I'm sorry. There are, of course, exceptions to these opinions. If you're in my family and there isn't a gift receipt with someone that I don't particularly care for - I'll probably let you know that I want to return it. And it won't be weird 'cause we're family and we can be dicks to each other without guilt. But with friends and acquaintances? That's a way harder area. Friends feel like they should know you, but such is not always the case. And telling a friend is WAY harder than telling your family.

And honestly, there have been maybe four instances in my life when I've really wished there were a gift receipt with a certain gift I've been given. I'm typically very happy whenever someone gets me anything, so I'm really just speaking generally. Gift receipts are so important. I mean, they exist - so why not give them with every gift? Unless you're buying that gift online, I really don't see why this custom hasn't caught on more.

All right, that's it. I'm sorry that you think I'm a terrible person, but someone needed to say it.

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The Best

It will always make me laugh when she licks her foot.

Happy Halloween!

Here's this year's costume, babies.

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Niles Crane & Daphne Moon wish you a happy halloween 🎃 #trickortreat #frasier

A video posted by Liz Heather (@lizheather) on Oct 31, 2015 at 6:56pm PDT

Baby Dog as Spiderman

Spiderman!

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An Average Night At Home

These guys.

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Fury of the Day - Ask Me How I Want My Burger Cooked, Canada

The main difference between the United States and Canada? In the U.S., you will always be asked how you want your burger cooked - but in Canada you will never be asked that question since they assume your answer will always be something like, “Duh, of course well done.”

WHEN DID THIS BECOME THE NORM AND WHY?

Really. Why!? It's such a small thing seemingly, but how did this catch on and become an internationally known custom? For the longest time, I wasn't even aware that people ate their burgers anything less cooked than well done. And why is that, you ask? Well, Canada raised me that way. It was only after visiting the U.S. that suddenly I was given many more options. And you know what? "Medium" is kind of amazing.

My real beef (hahahah not sorry) lies with the fact that the youth of Canada will experience this same trend and not learn for many years that there, infact, are many more options out there. 

And if you're looking at me like, "I know a place in Canada where they ask you how you want your burger cooked" then you can go right to hell. Of course there are places that are exceptions. But typically speaking, those places are either exclusively-burger places or fancy-ass restaurants. And it shouldn't be that way! Every place should ask! Why should we, the people, not have a choice in the matter? 

If you think I'm being too passionate on this issue, you're wrong.

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