Get This Ice Pack

by Liz Heather in ,


I asked for and got this ice pack this past Christmas and it’s probably my best gift of 2012. No, I’m not sad. I just know what’s up. This ice pack is gonna last me fifty years. I can feel it.

I used it for the first time a few weeks ago when I was sick and it helped immensely. It was worlds better than the trashy, lopsided, ziplocked bag of melty ice I’ve had to use in years past. 

There is absolutely no mess with this ice pack. The ice stays securely inside, with no water dripping ANYwhere on the outside. And you can balance it on both your head and/or forehead, depending on your preference. You will look like you fell out of an early nineteenth century novel with this in place and it will be glorious. Yeah, glorious

Also, the material it’s made from feels indestructible, yet soft. You can buy one for $9.95 here


Moo Business Cards

by Liz Heather in ,


This is where I buy my business cards. Why Moo? So many reasons:

  • Inexpensive
  • The card stock is smooth as can be
  • The designs to choose from are way less corny than on other business card sites and/or Staples
  • You can get round edges instead of square ones
  • Most of the designs are two sided

I can’t remember who/what introduced me to the site, but it’s definitely my go-to one as of right now. Also, it allows for this conversation:

“Oh, your business card is great. Where’d you get them done?”

“I think it was Moo.”

And I’m sorry, but the stupidity of saying a sentence like, “I think it was Moo” makes me very happy. 


Superstay 24 Hour Color by Maybelline

by Liz Heather in , ,


image

Do not buy this product. Why?

  • IT CAKES LIKE CRAZY. Just mad cake-age. 
  • Costs $10 and has the consistency of DOLLAR STORE CHILDREN’S PAINT.
  • Granted, I hate this product - but they only give you a quarter of what the packaging looks like (half of the tube is a clear lip balm to put OVERTOP). And quantity matters.

I’m usually smarter about buying things. Or… no, maybe I’m not. I gotta try some things out SOMEtimes, for Christ’s sake. And this was a fail. The only reason that I even ventured into that stupid aisle was because of this conversation I had with a woman who was doing my makeup once:

Me: “Is it all right to just not use any lipstick? I hate that stuff.”

Her: “What’s wrong with you?”

Me: “I just think it looks too phony.”

Her: “Are those your real eyelashes?”

Me: *nervous laughter*

Me: “I just don’t think it looks good on a lot of people in real life to have lips so outrageously colored.”

Her: “That’s insane. You’re insane. Go buy some lipstick.”

SO I DID. This isn’t lipstick, but a lip stain, so I thought this would be my first step into the realm of possibility. I will now be taking a step back. Just a fucking terrible product.

I would take a photo of my lips right now to show you how ugly it looks, but I don’t want the only photo of my lips on the internet to look ABHORRENT. 


Oz: The Great and Powerful - A Review

by Liz Heather in ,


I just want to start this off by saying that I thought I would for sure like this movie. I really did. I’m not hating here for the sake of hating. I do want to watch it again in maybe a year or so to see if I feel the same as I do right now.

Thoughts

(Gonna do this in points. Points are punchier.)

  • Before going into it, I didn’t know that David Lindsay-Abaire had anything to do with it at all - so to read that he had a hand in writing this?! Well, that’s pretty big. He’s a proper writer. Expectations were definitely set a bit higher. I wish I’d never seen that credit. This shit could have been written by any old loser.
  • I feel like anyone who was associated with The Wizard of Oz should be really upset that this movie got made. And I don’t even LOVE The Wizard of Oz or anything. 
  • James Franco was terrible and I like James Franco usually. 
  • Where the fuck have you been, Zach Braff? Good for you getting a part in a big movie. Just good for you. Scrubs was funny sometimes. Glad you’re doing all right.
  • People CLAPPED at the end up it? What the hell? No. I don’t condone that. Not even for good movies. I will maybe allow clapping at the BEGINNING of a movie, since that’s just adorable you’re so excited. But at the end? Ugh, no. Way. Also, as a tiny sidenote: those idiots who clap when a plane lands? Are we kidding here? You’re clapping because something that is SUPPOSED to happen, happens. Okay then. Do people clap for you when you make it to work on time? No. We’re all clapping too much. And I don’t get it. It’s devaluing the act of clapping.
  • And you know what? Maybe I didn’t even hate the movie. Maybe I was just too affected by the atmosphere. I was at an 8:30pm showing on a Saturday – so yeah, going at that time is my own damn fault. The woman beside me had some sort of nervous tick in her leg and it wouldn’t stop bouncing the entire time. There were at least three children in that theatre under the age of two. One dude snored through half of it and during the other half – he’d laugh at jokes, not with a laugh, but a gentle and prolonged, “Ahhhhhhhh!” So yeah. The theatre that night wasn’t great. Oh and also, why would it be a good idea to bring back theatre ushers? I’ll tell you why. So that when some moron’s phone starts ringing, an usher can literally usher them the fuck outside. Absurd that that’s not a thing. Movie tickets keep getting more expensive and for what? What better fucking services are they coming up with? HIRE USHERS! The food ain’t getting better. The seats ain’t comfy as hell. There’s shit all OVER those floors. PAY humans to become ushers and to make it a better theatre experience, and then maybe I’ll consider being excited by the idea of a goddam “3D experience”.
  • On another topic – 3D? I just… I can’t. I really can’t. If you’re mentally aroused by the idea of putting those fucking glasses on, then you’re part of the problem. I have nothing to say to you. You are as awful as 3D - I hope you’re very happy together.

Wishpot

by Liz Heather in , ,


Let me be clear, this post is not being written because my birthday is about a week away. 

There’s a site called Wishpot that I love. It’s an online (free) service that allows you to keep many types of lists with items that you find on other sites that you either need to purchase or would like to have as gifts. I know. That sounds kind of… gauche. And it is, a bit. But once you accept that general gaucheness, it’s really quite great. Once you have an account, you have an “Add to Wishpot” button installed in your bookmarks and whenever you come across something you want, you just add it to your pot.

I have two lists. One consists of “Things That I Eventually Need To Buy” and of course a “Wishlist” for when it’s gift giving times and someone asks me what I’d like. 

And honestly, if someone’s sweet enough to ask me what I’d want, my answer is usually, “Oh, I have everything. Don’t be silly. You’re so nice to even want to give me anything. You’re the best!” But the real answer would be, “Umm, of course there are frivolous things that would be great to get.” And that’s where this list comes in. In all honesty, the only people who have taken this list seriously and actually use it are my brothers and, like, two friends. So… is it really useful? I can’t really say. What I’m really hoping for is enough notoriety one day so that fans seek out this list and lavish me with these treats. That’s not gonna happen, maybe - but one can dream. 

Oh! I also forgot the best feature. If you do take a look at someone’s list and want to buy something for them, there’s a button to press to make sure no one else buys it since it’s then reserved. And at the same time, the person who the gift is for knows nothing because they don’t receive any notification that someone’s buying them something. Such secretism! 

In conclusion, if this post were being written solely because my birthday is about a week away - then I would’ve blogged about it sooner since there’s no way, with shipping, that’d I’d get any of those gifts on time. See? Not a horrible person. Not a great one either, but I’m comfortable with that.