“I hear and behold God in every object, yet I understand God not in the least,
Nor do I understand who there can be more wonderful than myself.”
The Dogbrella
This is the dogbrella. I saw this in a Hammacher Schlemmer catalog years ago and scanned the page so I never forgot to buy one of these should I ever have a dog again. Seriously.
Maybe it looks like a joke gift or something, but man - dogs get so wet on rainy days. What with their tiny little legs being so close to the ground and all. Anyway, it obviously won’t make them super dry since their paws will still be amongst water, but it’s gotta help a little bit, I’d imagine.
Anyway, their yearly catalogs are great. They’re basically like a higher-end SkyMall (ie. amazing).
Sabon in NYC
Disclaimer: City-specific post ahead. (There are locations in NYC, Chicago and Miami.)
If you live/visit this city, please stop into a Sabon store and wash your hands. Err, rather - have your hands washed for you. If that sounds terrible… well, that’s weird. It’s actually great. Whenever I pass a location with my friend Paul it’s not even a question as to whether we go in or not. It’s free, and it’s basically a four step (sometimes more, if they’re not busy) hand washing experience. Now, I’ve only ever bought their products as gifts, since I tend to use much cheaper items, but they smell amazing. Maybe one day when I have more money to spend, I’ll exclusively only shop here for this kind of stuff.
Anyway, my main point of this is - your hands feel like heaven afterward. Do it up. When I was single, I would get them washed especially before meeting dates and men thought I was, like, Parisian or something my hands were so f-ing soft.
Rabbit Hole By David Lindsay-Abaire
The following is an excerpt from the play Rabbit Hole (there was also a movie with Nicole Kidman based on the play - the movie was very forgettable, but the play is great). It's probably my favourite scene in the whole piece, mainly because of how brilliantly written it is. To give a small summary, it's just a conversation between two women (mother and daughter) describing what it's like to handle the death of a child in the family. Anyway, you may not think it's great, but man... it really is.
BECCA: This feeling. Does it ever go away?
NAT: No. I don’t think it does. Not for me, it hasn’t. It changes though.
BECCA: How?
NAT: I don’t know. The weight of it, I guess. At some point it becomes bearable. It turns into something you can crawl out from under. And carry around – like a brick in your pocket. And you forget it every once in awhile, but then you reach in for whatever reason and there is it: “Oh right. That.” Which can be awful. But not all the time. Sometimes it’s kinda… Not that you like it exactly, but it’s what you have instead of your son, so you don’t wanna let go of it either. So you carry it around. And it doesn’t go away, which is…
BECCA: What?
NAT: Fine… actually.
Peppermint Extract For Lips
If you’ve ever bought any sort of product that advertises itself as a lip plumper, then please read on. If not? I don’t know, maybe go here and make your brain better or something. (Also, if you’re a woman who’s adequately happy with what her lips are doing for her? I envy you.)
I never buy any of those products anymore - mostly because the majority of them are trash. Expensive trash. I read the following tip in a “Fun Facts” section of a cookbook once, so that’s probably why I trust it.
After you put your lip balm on, dab a bit of peppermint extract on next. It pumps them up like mad. I’ve been doing this for about, oh, say six months or so and I feel like it’s been working.
(Extra tip: using hot sauce does the same thing, in very small quantities, of course. Though, I wouldn’t fully endorse that idea because then you just smell like you ate something spicy all day. Not the hottest, but I’m sure some people are into it.)
“Dull nail polish? Dull life.”
Tip of the Day - Change Your Bedspread
Something that you should do at least once every season (so at least four times a year): change your bed sheets. Now I’m not talking about “having clean sheets”, silly. This isn’t what I’m saying. I mean the main bedspread that you have on top your mattress, that needs to change with the seasons. Why? Because everyone needs a bare amount of variety in their lives. I only started adhering to this policy last year, and I’ve got to say - it makes a difference. Mentally.
I don’t want to get too metaphysical on you right now, but doing this just feels important to avoid ever feeling stale or dated or basically just less happy, surroundings-wise.
I like to change them up as the seasons change, since that just makes sense logically to me. Whenever you’d like to do it, just make sure it gets done. You don’t feel the same way consistently every month, week or day - so it only makes sense that you shouldn’t immerse yourself with monotony.
This may seem like a dumb tip, and if you firmly still think that it is, well, cool. What of it. This is just something I feel pretty strongly about and with the nicer weather coming up, I wanted to propose the idea to you.
Steve Harvey’s face in the second last square just made me laugh a lot.
Mom Says
“When someone’s lying down, never walk across them. The person lying down will not continue to grow if you walk across them.”
If People Talked About Seinfeld Like They Talk About Girls
Just read - so great. (Even though this was already queued up to be posted, thanks to Adele for sending it to me and knowing me so well.)