New Place To Online Shop
This place is not new, but rather new to me. I’ve only bought a few things here and I’ve been very happy with all my purchases. Granted, some of the stuff is extraordinarily trashy, but some of the other stuff is beautiful and are things that I haven’t to been able to find anywhere else.
Anyway, if you’re a woman, take a look. If you’re a man? Sorry to have this focus on my gender. I know it’s hard for men to find clothing places that are actually good. Have you tried the men’s section at Zara? That’s something. Or take a look over here (but I have a feeling a lot of that list will be way too expensive for any normal human man). Yeah, actually that list sucks. I’ll come up with a real list aimed at men after I do some research.
Best Christmas Album
For real, this is the best and my most favourite Christmas album of all time. It was the last record our family ever bought - so maybe I’m actually only in love with it due to the timely appeal of getting to say that this was our “last record” to be purchased. But really - getting the record player out and putting this on gives me more joy than many things in life. And truthfully, I’ve heard it on cd and it’s just… not as good. You need to hear the gentle scratches of the vinyl to make it even more nostalgic and delicious.
Why am I posting this in April and not in December? Well, that’s a good question. If I told you I was posting about it now because it’s a very hard record to locate and you might need the extra months to track it down and buy it - would you believe me in that reasoning? ‘Cause that’s pretty solid reasoning. Do I actually think you’re going to search your local flea markets for said record? An even better question. Do what you want. If you don’t want to make your world a little brighter with this timeless album, then that’s on you, son.
“Best Part Of A Vacation = No Bras!”
Patterned Paint Roller
“This is the applicator to use on walls with our patterned paint rollers to create a wallpaper look.”
Ummm, amazing. And sounds ridiculously hard to do right, but amazing nonetheless.
Available for purchase here.
Henry, age 8, watches Forrest Gump. →
Henry: Wow, he doesn’t use commas when he talks.
Henry: Is Tom Hanks handicapped in real life?
Henry: Their house is huge.
Henry: I can’t believe Elvis stole his moves, gave him no credit. Not cool.
Henry: Is he going to sit on that bench and tell this story for the whole movie?
Henry: His braces broke off his legs and he’s a normal kid, running? He just left Jenny? Shouldn’t he be tired of running?
Henry: Oh man he joins the ARMY!? WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT!?
Henry: This Bubba guy is awesome, but he’s gonna die. In every army movie the first friend the main character meets, dies. Poor Bubba’s gonna die.
Henry: Oh my god, I love Bubba and this shrimp stuff.
Henry: Jenny is in Playboy? Is this a stripper show? She’s totally a stripper.
Henry: Jenny you can’t outrun a bullet. She told him to run.
Henry: YES. WAR SCENES. FINALLY. Why doesn’t Forrest have the cool gun?
Henry: Man, Vietnam would have been fun… until you had to go out and fight and die.
Henry: His platoon leader is just like my teacher. “Sit down. Shut up.”
Henry: I love Bubba.
Henry: I love how Forrest talks.
Henry: OH NO JENNY IS A HIPPIE.
Henry: Knew it. Is Bubba dead?
Henry: Was Forrest the only one who made it out, standing? Hey, this is what you have to do in Call of Duty. When you’re being carried out, you need to pull out a handgun.
Henry: Oh Bubba isn’t good. Man. I knew it. He died. Everyone’s best friend always gets shot.
Henry: Why would lieutant Dan rather be dead than get prosthetics? That’s dumb.
[Sal walks in]
Sal: Do hippies work? At all?
Henry: Dick Clark was so young then. He’s old now. He’s dead.
Henry: Jenny is so stupid.
Henry: Wait. BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP?!?! IS THIS A TRUE STORY?!
Sal: I like that the Apple symbol used to be rainbow.
Henry: I’d never cut grass for free.
Sal: Jenny is a mess.
Henry: Jenny is a mess.
Henry: He’s going to be really depressed now.
Sal: Jenny is terrible.
Henry: “His daddy’s name is Forrest? Just like me?” He’s an idiot.
Henry: Is it over? I want to know more about his cute little kid.
Sal: SEQUEL. That’s my new favorite movie.
Mom Says
If you eat from a pot, it will rain on your wedding day.
This back cover of a Smashing Pumpkins album will forever stand as the only tattoo I would ever want to get. Where would I want it? Full back. Like, full back. Of course it’ll never happen, since I don’t think I’d want it there for life. But if it’s ever possible to make your own fake tattoos, then this will be my pièce de résistance for approximately one week or so (or, you know, however long fake ones last).
Love, love, love this image so much.
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
Fury of the Day
Dear Construction Workers of the past, present and future,
If I drive past your work area where there are roads and/or lanes being blocked off with construction tape/pylons/what-have-you, with the intention of, you know, construction work being done - then, please oh please, BE FUCKING WORKING AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME.
When I see an area guarded off due of construction and whole lanes of cars getting screwed by empty areas with NO CONSTRUCTION ACTIVITY going on and thus CREATING TRAFFIC, and notice there isn’t work being done at that second?! Fuck you. Just fuck you to hell. You’re a piece of dirt, construction industry. This is why people hate you. ‘Cause you don’t give a shit about anyone. You’re purposely screwing tons of people with your ANTICIPATION of work being done and it’s bullshit. Go to hell.
Edit note: Sorry. This was just on my mind today. And is on my mind often. I, in no way, hate all construction workers. Just the industry. I feel like at some point in time, we all come up with a certain career we hate. Like how my dad will always hate firefighters (his words: “What do they do all day?! Nothing.”) and one of my brothers will always hate tow truck drivers, no matter what (“It’s unfair that they think they own the road. No one’s allowed to run stop signs, jerks.”).
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