Fury of the Day - Beyonce & Pepsi

Why does no one seem bothered by the Beyonce and Pepsi partnership? Is it because celebrities are constantly endorsing such terrible-for-everyone products? Have we all become immune to it but me? Why the hell am I so bothered by this? In amongst every other awful thing that is currently going on in this world today, why would this be something that sends me into a rage-filled diatribe?

These are questions that I don’t have the answers to. I have ideas on why, but no concrete answers. Possible ideas are listed below, in the form of a letter.

Dear Bey,

Are you going to be doing something amazingly kind and generous with this money that you’re making in this fifty million dollar endorsement? Are you going to end world hunger? Do you somehow have plans of secretly solving many world problems, that I just haven’t heard about yet? Surely, there is a greater good that will come out of this awful, awful idea to endorse such a company. Do you just hate Coke? Please tell me that’s what this is about. I could understand that. Do you honestly want people to see your beautiful mug on the side on a Pepsi can and encourage them to ruin their lives with such childish desires? Seriously, no judgment here - I just want to know what’s up. Why the hell would you be into this? You’re a billionaire. With a billionaire husband. And this doesn’t make you a “businesswoman”, this makes you seem like a joke. And you aren’t ‘cause, like, you promote a lot of healthy, great things for women in general, but also for people. So you can see why this just leaves me confused. 

Liz

I think the real thing that angers me is the fact that no one should glamorize/idealize this woman. I do that myself! Do I want to?! Of course not! That’s pathetic! But I can feel myself doing it because I’m but a mere mortal and can’t always ignore the subliminal things in my daily life that are constantly telling, “You must love Beyonce. Beyonce is perfect. You must love Beyonce.” In the past year or so, I feel like everyone and their brother has felt this way in some smaller form or another and it isn’t normal or healthy. It isn’t realistic or human to do that with anyone, but especially someone whom none of us know. I understand that management teams are especially amazing at what they do in this day and age (hers especially), but I just think that it’s getting out of control how we are all expected to worship this human/icon/product/whatever-you’d-like-to-call-her and freely accept with open arms whatever they endorse or tell us or encourage. I feel the same way about how some people are just in love about Oprah, no matter what. (Now, this is a personal thing, but I loathe Oprah for my own reasons, but have always thought that it’s so weird how she has such a cult-like following.)

Honestly, this whole post might as well be summed up as:

Yo, Beyonce… you know that Pepsi is terrible for you, right? What the fuck’s up with you telling me it’s great? Lame. People listen to you! What are you doing?! I guess you’re not that great afterall. Boooo! Peace.

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When Someone Suggests A Harry Potter Marathon

mylifethroughkristenwiig:

“If you have dark hair and any bald spots on your head, you can easily cover them up with a makeup brush and some dark/black eye shadow. It’ll make your hair look full as fuck.”

— #lizadvice

The Frozen Yogurt at Freshii

You know the Seinfeld episode with the non-fat yogurt they all love that’s so amazing? That yogurt exists. And this is the place that sells it. F-ing GO.

It’s a billion dollars a cup (well, $6.50 for a small cup is so nutso I can’t really begin to understand that silliness, but it is a pretty big cup), and man - IT IS CRAZYDELICIOUS. I had one with strawberries and blueberries and each. damn. bite. was intense. And usually halfway through any ice cream/cold food item, I’m all “Okay, I’m good, I don’t need to finish this” - but you want to finish this and lick the cup, like, in public. I thought it was non-fat (‘cause that’s what the signs in the place say) but online it says that it’s “low-fat”, so not sure what’s up there. Go eat this guy. Crazy good. 

New York Yankees Pay Tribute To Boston With “Sweet Caroline” (Link) →

Umm, I feel like this is the sweetest thing I’ve seen in awhile. Just so nice. 

Mom Says

A shiver means that someone is walking over your (eventual) grave.

Tip - How To Cure Frostbite Fast

If you ever find yourself:

• freezing to death
• frost bitten
• having one extremity very, very cold

…then what should you do? Let me tell you. Put whatever area is suffering under a woman’s breast because that’s the warmest place on a human body. The larger the breast the better.

Learned that in Girl Guides. Totally works too. Not 100% positive about the “larger breasts work better” part, but that just seems to make sense in my mind. One winter, this girl fell in a lake and our leader totally used this method and the girl was warm again almost instantaneously. Like, weirdly fast. Heated her right up. 

“It’s easy to cry when you realize that everyone you love will reject you or die.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Story of the Day

Edit note: Maybe this story isn’t actually that good or interesting, but it still makes me laugh, so… deal with it? 

When I was younger (I wanna say teens, but it probably spread into early and mid twenties) I was especially sort of bitchy and awful at times to the people in my family. Or maybe that included friends as well. And strangers, too. I don’t know why, it was a weird time. Anyway, one of the funniest things I’ll remember forever is this thing that happened with my brother, Gary. 

It was somebody in the family’s birthday. We were all at my parent’s house and Gary asked if he could wrap a gift in my room so no one would see what it was. And in response, I said that he could but then proceeded to bark at him not to get ANY little pieces of wrapping paper anywhere on my clean floor - ‘cause I didn’t want to be the one to “fucking clean up” after him later. Anyway, he just nodded his head, quietly accepting my abnormal rage at this simple request and went on. 

So the day goes on, the birthday party happens and everyone eventually leaves. I’m getting ready for bed and I turn off the light and get under the covers and as soon as I put my head down onto the pillow I hear this rustling underneath. So I turn the light on and look under the pillow and there’s an absurd amount of crumpled up wrapping paper with tape sticking out of places that were purely there for decoration and tiny little pieces of paper just everywhere. I’ll never be able to put into words how much that made me laugh. I realized instantly what a maniac I must’ve sounded like to him, and I will absolutely never forget how amazing that was for him to do.

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