These were done by my friend Adele nine years ago and I still love them to death. There are so many more that I've kept, but I thought I'd just give you a taste. (Hope it's okay that I'm posting them, Adele - they're so perfect.)
Mom Says
“Birthmarks on babies happen because the pregnant mother is craving a food that she didn’t get. Wherever she touches her body when she’s experiencing the craving is where the mark will appear on her unborn baby.”
Hair Tip of the Day
Never comb or brush your wet hair. Seriously, don't do it. It breaks the hair follicles and makes your hair fall out way quicker than it normally would. What should you do instead? Brush your dirty hair BEFORE you get into the shower and then once it's clean, just use your finger tips to get out tangles. Obviously this is easier to do if you use conditioner (side tip: only condition the hair that isn't on your scalp, 'cause if you condition your scalp it'll get greasier way quicker - only the ends need conditioning).
How do I know these things? Experience, son! My hair used to fall out like mad. For years. I only got a handle on this a few years back, and after trying these things there's no going back.
Also, if you have roommates, don't forget to clean out any hair in the drain after your shower. Blows my mind that people still don't adhere to this human courtesy. (I am in no way talking about my own roommates, they're wonderful. I'm talking to you other cretins who aren't doing this.)
“How fragile we are, between the few good moments.”
The Wolf of Wall Street
Not a super fan of anyone involved, but this looks really good.
“I think if I were to have any phrase tattooed on my body it would be: “I love you but...””
Overheard In New York
Once in awhile, this site has some real gems. I don't read it as often as I used to - why? Not really a concrete reason, there are just too many good sites to remember.
Here are some of my favourites from over the years:
Man: You look like the black Sigourney Weaver.
Woman: I'm not black.
Man: Are you Sigourney Weaver?
-- Oasis Coffee Shop
College guy #1: Yo, do you know who directed Jaws 2?
College guy #2: Yeah. Oh wait, you mean the second one?
-- 23rd & 3rd
Guy #1: So she fine?
Guy #2: Yeah, man, and get this, guy: she's got full benefits!
Guy #1: Yo man, you better marry that shit!
-- Elevator, 42nd & Madison
Crazy man: Why did Freddy Krueger kill Martin Luther King? 'Cause he had a dream!
-- 1 train
Boy: Mom? Mom? Can I get this?
Mom: No.
Boy: I see you as a stranger now.
-- Burlington Coat Factory, Atlantic Center Mall
Dude: Look at those people there on the bench?
Chick: Which ones?
Dude: Those six people, all sitting there, all talking and animated and engaged with each other, each a representative of a different family of hair colour. We totally just walked through their sitcom and we didn't even know it.
-- Washington Square Park
Man on stoop on cell: Son, it sounds like you got yourself an STD.
-- Windsor Terrace
White girl: I'm sorry, I don't have any money.
Black guy: I didn't ask you for nuthin', lady!
-- 57th & Lexington
Man: Oh my God, it's sold out. What do we do?
Woman: I don't know. Suicide?
-- Film Forum, Houston Street
Woman: Hi!….Oh, I thought you were someone else.
Man: I am.
-- 52nd & Broadway
Conductor: Watch your step as you exit the train, and if you're late, just remember that life is a lot like being on this train: we may not be there yet, but we’re getting there.
--2 Train
Oh Mandy - The Spinto Band
Still one of my most favourite music videos to watch. Just gorgeous.
“Savor hugs for two seconds longer than you currently do.”
Eye Tips of the Day
- Line the lower rims of your eyelids in white to look more awake.
- Hold a small post-it between your lashes & eyelid when applying mascara. The sticky strip sticks to your finger and lets you really work the mascara in.
- A splash of olive oil on a cotton ball removes eye makeup.
- For a more dramatic curl, use your hairdryer to heat up your eyelash curler for a few seconds.
- A bit of shimmery white eyeshadow dusted in the inner corners of your eye sockets will brighten up your whole face.