The Problem With Ribfest

by Liz Heather in

You've probably been to at least one ribfest in your time on this planet. And if not? Well, okay then. I guess we're a different class of people, you and I. 

If you have gone to one, did you find it to be a well organized affair? Of course you didn't. Yeah, the ribs were probably great. Duh. But what's the real problem with this "fest"? Many things. Such as:

  • The lines.
  • No where to sit.
  • Expensive as hell ribs. 

And the biggest problem of all? No samples! What they should be doing is charging you a cover of some not-crazy amount which allows you to go around to many different rib booths and SAMPLE small amounts of their specialty ribs and/or sauces. And when you've picked your favourite place, YOU GO AND BUY A RACK FROM THAT PLACE. You know? Like they do it in chili cookoffs in movies? Now that makes sense. Nobody wants to settle down and pay a ton of money on some random type of UNTASTED ribs just because it was the shortest line! It's a festival! You want the best! 

I know I like to talk a lot about what I'd change if I were mayor - I realize that. But this ribfest business would be the first on my list to change. Makes me so mad that they don't know how to do it right.

 

by Liz Heather in ,

“When painting your nails yourself, leave one nail undone as you do your others, and then do that one once all the others are done and perfect. This way if you screw up along the way, you still have one nail that can clean it up since it isn’t done yet.”
— #lizadvice

The Worst Movie of All Time

by Liz Heather in ,

If there’s one movie that you should never ever see, that movie is 2008’s The Women. While I cannot fully explain in depth the reasons behind this recommendation, I can merely try. 

I tried watching this movie a very long time ago with a group of friends and had to excuse myself before the second half because of how violently sick it made my stomach. At first, I thought it was just something that I had eaten. So I left the living room that we were watching it in and went upstairs to lay down. I instantly felt better within twenty minutes of leaving that movie. And so, I sat up in bed (since I thought that it was just a random sickness), opened the bedroom door and just sat down for a minute. I began to hear the movie downstairs, and the sickness immediately rushed over me like a WAVE yet again. I shut the door and laid down again. This movie was making me physically ill. Why? I still can’t really place it. I’ve thought about this long and hard, and I’ve come to the conclusion that – this is the worst movie ever made. There are so many things wrong with it. It makes women seem like worthless, stupid moronic drones. And also? There are absolutely no men in this movie. Even as extras. NO MEN! Not that there’s anything wrong with that – but no, wait, there IS something wrong with that because it made me feel UNSETTLED IN MY STOMACH. I don’t WANT to see a movie exclusively full of women. It's too much. I hated it. And also, on a separate occasion, my brother Robbie and I were walking along the aisles of Blockbuster one day (I realize, this detail dates us immensely) and we came across a dvd for The Women and I instantly started to have an uneasy, bubbly feeling in my stomach again. IT WAS WEIRD. Even he was all, “This is messed up.” So I had to leave and wait in the parking lot for him. I honestly wish I could explain this phenomenon more, but that would mean watching it AGAIN and figuring it out more deeply, but you know that I can’t do that. I just… I can’t. Everything made me angry about it. Please never see this movie.