Homemade Salsa

I'm just going to say it: you should be watching your sodium intake levels. Forgive me if that's a tedious way to start this post, but it's important! And one of the reasons why I've been cutting back on eating a lot of the already-jarred salsas/items at the grocery store. 

Are you aware of how easy this is to make yourself? It's almost weird. Why the hell haven't we all been doing this for years? Fuck you, Tostitos! We don't need you!

Ingredients

1 can (28 Ounce) of Whole Tomatoes With Juice
2 cans (10 Ounce) of Rotel (Diced Tomatoes And Green Chilies)
1/4 cup Chopped Onion
1 clove Garlic, Minced
1 whole Jalapeno, Quartered And Sliced Thin
1/4 teaspoon Sugar
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1/4 teaspoon Ground Cumin
1 Whole Lime, Squeezed

Directions

Put all the ingredients into a blender and pulse it up to the consistency you desire. 

I've made this three times already and each batch will last you about a week or two, depending on how much salsa you eat (and if you don't eat that much, you can freeze it, too). Definitely try this recipe - I will never buy store-bought again.

Also, there was cilantro in the original recipe that I left out since it can be pretty overbearing, but maybe that's just me. We all have our differing opinions when it comes to cilantro. 

Brooklyn Cyclones Hosting A Seinfeld Night on July 5th

Why is this happening? 'Cause dreams do come true. I've been wanting to go to a Cyclones game for years, so this couldn't be a more perfect one to go to. 

"On July 5, 1989, Seinfeld aired on NBC for the first time and 25 years later, the Cyclones will celebrate the show that has left an indelible mark on popular culture. The first 2,500 fans in attendance will receive a Keith Hernandez "Magic Loogie" Bobblehead.  In addition, there will be non-stop Seinfeld themed entertainment from beginning to end. Yada yada yada... you'll have an awesome night." brooklyncyclones.com

What kinds of things?

• MCU Park will be known as Vandelay Industries Park for one night only
• Mailmen in uniform get to throw out a ceremonial first pitch
• Anyone who has a business card indicating that they are in fact a "Latex Salesman" will also receive a free ticket to the game.  If we call the number and it's some apartment on the Upper East Side, you won't qualify for the freebie. 
• Fans can visit the information table for an "airing of grievances"
• Closest to the pin / whale's blow hole competition
• The foul poles will be known as Festivus Poles
• "Low-Talking" PA Announcer
• Elaine Dancing Contest
• Everyone Runs the Bases Post-game (but anyone named Jerry gets a head start)
• Game of "Risk" on the Concourse
• Cereal eating contests
• Anyone named George Costanza will be allowed to join our radio broadcast as a color analyst for an inning
• Players in puffy shirts for batting practice

You probably should get your tickets early, as this night is surely to be one of the most popular of the 2014 season. Single game tickets will go on sale Saturday, May 10th at 10AM.  But if you follow the Cyclones on Facebook or Twitter, you will get access to a special pre-sale before the general public.  For more information please call 718-37-BKLYN.

Honestly, the "Low-Talking PA Announcer" is maybe the best idea in the world. SO EXCITED FOR THIS.

“Laughter is the evidence that we’re still here, the proof that our tragedies will not define us forever. Laughter is the language of the survivor.”

— Josh Riebock

Makeup Tip of the Day

If you give any kind of a shit about  makeup and you're not doing this already - start. If you never want to hear the phrase, "Woah, you look tired again," then this maneuver is heavenly. 

(Also, if you're a mutant who say things like that? Man. You're really the worst. I mean that sincerely. It's one of the silliest things you can say to another adult. Absolutely moronic.)

I guess you could use a white powder, but that might be too loosey-goosey. I use the $5 white eyeliner pencil (it's less pencil-y, more gel-like) from Sephora's own collection.

View fullsize

You can find it along that horrible look-at-these-products-while-you-wait-to-leave line before you buy something. 

The Nutella French Doughnut at Ground Central in NYC

What do you think I'm going to tell you - this tastes horrible?! Get the hell out of here. You should know the drill by now. GO EAT THIS DOUGHNUT! Fuck that Cronut line, this is better.

They're available at Ground Central (155 East 52nd Street). They usually sell out at some point during the day, but if you're there before 3pm, you should be all right. Trust me, I know my donuts.

Jamaican Chicken Stew in a Slow Cooker

Preparing this stew made me feel like a goddam adult. In a really great way. Maybe it was because the prep that happened before you transfer it all to the cooker was so involved? I don't know. But I felt manly as hell, and it was fantastic. Not only does it taste heavenly, but there will be leftovers for days. One warning, though? Be prepared to really stink up the house when you're making this - not in a bad way, just in a food way. Totally worth it, in my opinion. 

Ingredients

3 pounds chicken drumsticks (on the bone)
2 teaspoons curry powder
1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme
3/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup red wine (NOT "cooking wine", you should buy real red wine at a liquor store. They even have the small plastic ones for $2, so you don't have to buy a whole bottle if you're being thrifty.)
1 1/2 cups (15 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/2 cups (15 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained

Directions

Toss the chicken with curry powder, thyme, allspice, red pepper flakes, black pepper and salt.
Heat oil in a large skillet. Add onions and garlic and saute until onions are softened, about 3 minutes. Add chicken mixture to skillet and brown on both sides. Add wine and let cook for a few more minutes. Add tomatoes and black beans and mix well (or as best you can). Transfer to the slow cooker and cook on high for 5 hours until tender and the meat is falling off the bone. 

NOW, when it's done? If you're comfortable serving stew with bones in it (and I am), then just ladle this stuff out. If that sounds gross to you, well, grow up. Everyone knows that chicken tastes better (and juicier) when right off the bone. 

This recipe was slightly adapted from Jeanette's Healthy Living. 

Mets Tickets $3.50 for 50th Anniversary of Shea Stadium

When: The games on Friday April 18th (7:10pm), Saturday April 19th (7:10pm) and Sunday April 20th (1:10pm).

The Mets host the Braves this weekend at Citi Field and in celebration of the 50th Anniversary of Shea Stadium, the prices are what they were in 1964. For $3.50 get a ticket in the Promenade Outfield and for $19.64 sit in a baseline box seat.

With service charges and all, the $3.50 tickets are actually $10.25 for one ticket and the $19.64 tickets are actually $28.14 for one ticket (which is still pretty amazing). You can reserve tickets here.

“Never buy strawberries from the grocery store. Did everyone know this except me? They, of course, taste eons better when bought from a fruit stand.”

— #lizadvice

Colour Coordination for Kids

Is this not a genius idea? I can't really decide whether it's bordering on being either too controlling or just AMAZINGLY ORGANIZED. Your call. If children are ever in my future, this idea has to happen. Such a good idea (of course it's Martha's), I love it so much.