“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”
Bendy Bridge
If you're not impressed by this, get over yourself.
And if you think it isn't hard to do (in your late twenties), then I implore you to give it a whirl.
This isn't really a look-what-I-can-do post (well, it IS) but more of a what-can-you-do post? Is there something that you used to be able to do really well and stopped? Maybe you should give it a try again? One day I hope to be able to do the above but have my hands reach/walk all the way down to my feet. I know, I dream big.
In any case, I'll forever keep trying to still be this kid any way I can.
The Manhattan Inn in Greenpoint, Brooklyn
I stumbled upon this piano bar recently and it is GORGEOUS. If I turned you off with the phrase "piano bar" - I completely understand. I'm usually turned off by them as well. But I swear this place is different (/better) than what you're imagining. Look at it.
Those photos don't do the place justice, either. It's crazy dark inside and way more enticing in real life (there's a skylight and if that doesn't scream class to you, then get the hell out of here). This is the best thing I've been to in Greenpoint so far (with Pie Corps finishing a close second) so you should probably go.
You can read more about the place over here.
I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This and Other Things That Strike Me as Funny by Bob Newhart - A Review
Available on Amazon
Available on Amazon
(Before I begin, I should tell you that I'm fighting the urge to be really negative about this book. Why am I fighting that urge? I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause I'm sure that Bob Newhart is a nice man. And also, I think I'm of the opinion that this book really isn't aimed at my demographic so maybe there was no chance in hell I'd ever have liked it.)
That being said, I intensely disliked this book. If you enjoy hearing the routines (in detailed length) of older comedians' bits, then you'll definitely want to read this. I do not. Nor will I ever. I'm also a fan of memoirs that go a little deeper into the mind of the writer/performer - and this one did no such thing, I thought. And that's fine! That's not his style, I guess. But God, it was a really hard read.
There, of course, were a few things that I did enjoy and I'll list them now.
- "I've found that fights in marriage are generally about something other than the topic you are arguing over."
- "Comedy can help us make it past something very painful, like death. Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event over which we have no control, deal with it, and then move on with our lives."
That's it. Those are the only parts I liked and/or want to remember. And maybe that makes sense 'cause I'm not an over-70 year old, white man. This book isn't for me! I get that now.
In any case, I'm glad it's over. All I can really say about it is that he's certainly no Martin Short.
Port Credit Comedy Festival
I'll be there, you'll be there, everyone'll be there, man.
The festival goes from February 26th - 28th and you can get your tickets over here.
“I’m sorry but Yankee Candle is way too overpriced. They have big, smelly candles at Wal-Mart for $4, world.”
McDonald's Pizza STILL AVAILABLE
If you're ever in Pomeroy, Ohio or Spencer, West Virginia - I beg you to go to the local town McDonald's, order a pizza and then do the following.
- Photograph it.
- Savour it.
- Call me up and let me know if it's the same pizza from the nineties.
How is this happening? How do they possibly have the same ingredients as the pizzas from twenty years ago? HOW!? It kind of seems like a trap to get people to come to these towns, in my opinion. But that's just a theory.
Tip of the Day - Getting Rid of Grease
"Put aluminum foil in a bowl, pour the grease/fat/excess-grossness in. When it hardens, roll up the foil and throw it out."
I'm fairly certain that the internet exists solely for passing along GENIUS SECRETS LIKE THIS ONE. Am I overreacting? Think of all the clean bowls you'll save.
Mom Says
“A bed changed on Friday will bring bad dreams.”
Chris Isaak - I Wonder
I'm here to tell you that Wicked Game wasn't his only great song.