It's so quick and maybe I'm an idiot for laughing so much at it, but at the part (from 1:18 - 1:20) when Patti LuPone goes, "Do you know who you are?" and Elijah goes, "Not a clue." FUCK, I laughed so much. Just the way he says it. So, so funny. Love that man.
Smart Phone Manners
I know it's a common occurrence to have every action of daily life interrupted by technology. I really do understand this. My main concern here? How much worse is it going to get before we all hate one another.
I recently got an iPhone (I upgraded from my 2009 Samsung that finally died) and I really thought I'd become as equally annoying as everyone I know (with the exception of maybe one person) with this new device in my life. But honestly? I think I'm the same me. And thank God for that.
My main problem here? Table manners & smart phones. If I were to rule the world, I'd create a course on the subject and implement it in every elementary school classroom, so we could grow up having a basic understanding of THINGS WE SHOULD ALREADY BE AWARE OF.
What does it take to not be considered an impolite piece of iPhone-using scum? Not much! Here's a gentle list to take note of.
Things To Avoid
- If you're seated at a table that has cutlery on it, don't you dare put your phone down on that table. Don't do it. I don't care if you're a man who keeps his phone in his pocket, figure it out. (Sidenote: it really can't be good for men to keep cell phones so near their junk. Has anyone done a study on that yet?)
- If you really can't fight the urge to read that text that just arrived, put your phone on Do Not Disturb mode if you're amongst other, polite human beings so you're not tempted to look.
- If you're waiting for your drink or food or cheque to arrive, this is not the time to check your email. If you're amongst company, speak to these humans beside you. If you're alone, LOOK AROUND maybe or have a thought of some kind. Your time doesn't have to exclusively consist of refreshing your Instagram feed.
And the most important rule of all? If you must, absolutely must, take your phone out for whatever reason (and that better be for a good goddam reason) - you should, at the very least, apologize for its presence. To bring out and use your phone with no explanation at a sit-down dinner is inexcusable and rude beyond measure. And the fact that you're even slightly thinking right now, "Whoa, calm down, Liz. Everyone does it." is abhorrent. We used to have better manners. I know that we did because I'm not that old and I remember a time when manners were sort of respected. I don't know how this shift slowly happened and we all became dirtbags, but it doesn't have to be this way. I know it. I just know it.
“If you happen to open a colonic therapy center, you might want to invest in some sound-proofed walls. Just a thought.”
Be Still And Know
I saw this image somewhere online many years ago and printed it out, put it in a frame and gave it to my friend Harmeet since she seemed to enjoy it as much as I do. I can’t help but wonder how large it would be in real life and where it came from exactly. If anyone knows, please speak up.
Toy Story
Mom Says
“You must hold your breath while going past a cemetery or you will breathe in the spirit of someone who has recently died.”
I Think This All The Time
“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.”
Mister Rogers' Neighborhood On Netflix
It's fairly clear how much I love this man. I find it odd that more people aren't as vocal about their love for him, to be frank. There are twenty episodes from Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood now streaming on Netflix and if you have any children in your life, you'd be doing them a great disservice by not showing them a few episodes.
First of the Month Checklist
I love the first day of the month. There's just something about starting a new month that makes you feel like you can get tons and tons of stuff done. And whether that's true or not, the idea behind it makes me hopeful. Is it just me who feels that way?
The one thing I do every time this day comes around is check off my list of monthly things that need to get done. I really think that everyone should have one of these lists. How else are you supposed to stay on top of things? And if you're unsure of what types of things should be on this list, feel free to take a glance at mine.
My Monthly Checklist
Clear out any old food from the fridge and clean the shelves.
Choose my next book to read.
Set a goal of how many times I expect myself to go to the gym (this varies depending on the season - I go less in the summertime since I'm outdoors more compared with the winter when I need to up my gym dosage since I spend so much time indoors, not moving as much).
Set a spending budget (which takes into consideration birthday gifts, holidays, etc.)
Clean out my car (this was, obviously, for the times when I had a car).
Check Barnes & Noble for any author events that I might want to go to.
Buy greeting cards if there are any family or friends' birthdays this month.
Wash the bed sheets (should I be doing this more than once a month? Hope not. That's a lot of work).
Clean and polish any shoes that are looking rough.
Go through emails and respond to anything that's ridiculously late.
That's it! Pretty good list, eh? I think so.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.