That's him wearing his birthday present above (Baby Dog doesn't seem into it, but believe me - she is). This man is smart as hell, babely as ever and funnier than anyone I know. I hope you have a great day today, b!
“I love like a leaky faucet, or I love like a dam breaking. There is nothing in between.”
Cloud Toilet Paper Holder
Anyone who can turn something with a functional household purpose into something beautiful to look at = a winner. God, I love this idea so much.
This is only one piece from a set of "functional concrete home decor" - and you can see the entire collection over here. The series was created by Frenchmen Bertrand Jayr and Lyon Béton.
No More Q-Tips!
All right, it's likely that you're not going to listen to this advice since you're probably an adult who is already settled into his/her ways and refuses to believe that an outside source has your best interest at heart. Right? I know I'm that way, so I don't fault you for being the same.
That being said, pleeease just consider this idea! Or ask your doctor about it. Every doctor I've ever asked has told me it's a bad idea to use Q-Tips. Maybe just go ask for yourself.
Andrew Rannells
It's so quick and maybe I'm an idiot for laughing so much at it, but at the part (from 1:18 - 1:20) when Patti LuPone goes, "Do you know who you are?" and Elijah goes, "Not a clue." FUCK, I laughed so much. Just the way he says it. So, so funny. Love that man.
Smart Phone Manners
I know it's a common occurrence to have every action of daily life interrupted by technology. I really do understand this. My main concern here? How much worse is it going to get before we all hate one another.
I recently got an iPhone (I upgraded from my 2009 Samsung that finally died) and I really thought I'd become as equally annoying as everyone I know (with the exception of maybe one person) with this new device in my life. But honestly? I think I'm the same me. And thank God for that.
My main problem here? Table manners & smart phones. If I were to rule the world, I'd create a course on the subject and implement it in every elementary school classroom, so we could grow up having a basic understanding of THINGS WE SHOULD ALREADY BE AWARE OF.
What does it take to not be considered an impolite piece of iPhone-using scum? Not much! Here's a gentle list to take note of.
Things To Avoid
- If you're seated at a table that has cutlery on it, don't you dare put your phone down on that table. Don't do it. I don't care if you're a man who keeps his phone in his pocket, figure it out. (Sidenote: it really can't be good for men to keep cell phones so near their junk. Has anyone done a study on that yet?)
- If you really can't fight the urge to read that text that just arrived, put your phone on Do Not Disturb mode if you're amongst other, polite human beings so you're not tempted to look.
- If you're waiting for your drink or food or cheque to arrive, this is not the time to check your email. If you're amongst company, speak to these humans beside you. If you're alone, LOOK AROUND maybe or have a thought of some kind. Your time doesn't have to exclusively consist of refreshing your Instagram feed.
And the most important rule of all? If you must, absolutely must, take your phone out for whatever reason (and that better be for a good goddam reason) - you should, at the very least, apologize for its presence. To bring out and use your phone with no explanation at a sit-down dinner is inexcusable and rude beyond measure. And the fact that you're even slightly thinking right now, "Whoa, calm down, Liz. Everyone does it." is abhorrent. We used to have better manners. I know that we did because I'm not that old and I remember a time when manners were sort of respected. I don't know how this shift slowly happened and we all became dirtbags, but it doesn't have to be this way. I know it. I just know it.
“If you happen to open a colonic therapy center, you might want to invest in some sound-proofed walls. Just a thought.”
Be Still And Know
I saw this image somewhere online many years ago and printed it out, put it in a frame and gave it to my friend Harmeet since she seemed to enjoy it as much as I do. I can’t help but wonder how large it would be in real life and where it came from exactly. If anyone knows, please speak up.
Toy Story
Mom Says
“You must hold your breath while going past a cemetery or you will breathe in the spirit of someone who has recently died.”