“To drop a fork means a man is coming to visit.”
Autumn Leaves
I hope you're not thinking it's corny to do a leaves post, 'cause baby - that's happening.
I can debate a child for maybe twenty minutes on which season is the best. And the great thing about that argument is that I don't even really have an answer to that question (all I'm certain of is that summer is the worst). Can't I just say that winter, spring and autumn tie for the best? The snow of winter, the smell of spring and the leaves of autumn are equally the greatest parts of each of those times of year. That's just a damn fact.
I really hope you're noticing these leaves around you, 'cause they're gonna leave us rather quickly.
All of these are photos are just some of the ones I've taken this year, so I think you can get a feel for how much I admire them. You don't have to necessarily photograph them to enjoy them, but I beg you to go hang out somewhere outside and f-ing bask for a little while.
“There are years that ask questions, and years that answer.”
Remember The Time
I especially love this song when heard in the fall, for some reason.
The Frozen Pina Colada at Connolly's
This baby is the most popular drink on Rockaway Beach - and rightfully so. I won't tell you how many of these I had in one sitting, but use your imagination. I will forever and always get one of these every single time I'm remotely near Rockaway Beach. It’s not too sweet, but it is crazy addictive. Watch yourself.
They open for the season on Memorial Day.
Moon Lanterns
Pigs in Leaves
This doesn't make you smile? Get yourself checked.
“You can totally use limes as deodorant. They last about a week if you keep them in the fridge in a Ziplocked bag and it might be a good idea to label them (I’d go with “pit limes).”
Secrets of a Great Bath
I don't know why, but I have a feeling that you're not taking enough baths. Am I right? I feel like I'm right. And if you're trying to tell me that you're too busy or your tub isn't clean enough for such activities to take place, I'm disappointed in you. The luxuriousness of a bath is something that we all have access to (provided you own a tub). Why are we constantly passing up the opportunity to bask in some hard-earned peacefulness? Do you feel that you don't deserve it? You're not worthy of a twenty minute dip? Nonsense, I say. You do deserve such a life. Quite honestly, maybe you're just unaware of how to specifically make the most of having a bath. You know, a proper bath. So here's what you need to have:
Candles. That should be obvious, but maybe it isn't. The strong, harsh lighting of most bathrooms simply won't relax you to the fullest, so you'll need tiny little tea lights that surround you. They're crazy cheap from any dollar store, like those ones shown above.
A cold drink. This complements a hot bath more than words can describe.
Bubbles. Not the shitty drugstore kind, but, like, an Avon brand or better. Those bubbles are the money bubbles.
Scrub mitt or exfoliation glove. Since you'll be soaking it up anyway, you might as well scrub some of that old, dirty skin off.
Body scrub. This just makes sense if you're trying to come out of this tub soft as hell.
Scrunchie. If you have long hair, it just makes sense.
Face mask. What better time to use a face mask?
Pumice stone. For the feet!
A pad of paper and a pen. These'll be useful 'cause your mind will be so clear that you'll remember things that you need to do or ideas that come to you or other things of that nature.
More than one clean towel. I love getting out of a tub and having a ton of clean towels at my disposal. Maybe that's just me.
And most of all? Keep your cell phone OUT of the bathroom. You should bask in the time away from it and most importantly, you don't want to be one of those losers who drops it in water. I feel no sympathy for those goons. Happy Tubbing, tubby!
(P.S. I hate that 'tubby' is a mildly offensive word. It's so funny and lighthearted, I wish we could all just use it lovingly and obliterate any negative connotation with the word. Let's work on that.)
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
Autumn List 2015
Of course I'm going to make a list of autumn things to do and of course I'm going to tell you about it. Off we go!
Go apple picking.
Make tiramisu! (What's that? This isn't a typical fall thing to do? I can't hear you?)
Take photos of Baby Dog in the leaves.
Go to Goodwill to figure out my Halloween costume.
Watch Hocus Pocus.
Decorate the front porch of my parent's house.
Scent the house like autumn.
Try the new soups at Sweet Janes.
Visit the oldest cheese shop in NYC - Alleva Dairy.
Check out Washington Mews in Greenwich Village.
And I'll probably peruse this list a little, since, you know, OCTOBER IS COMING.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.