Only three more months.
So You Want to Talk about Race by Ijeoma Oluo - A Review
Available on Amazon
Available on Amazon
I normally don't boast about how fast I read a book, but I read this in a day. I'm only mentioning that because I thought it would take me longer since it, in all honesty, seemed like it'd be a pretty heavy book to take in. But once I started reading, I felt like it was feeding me. I was going to start the next sentence as "Being a mixed race woman..." but no, fuck that, everyone can benefit from reading this book. I wish I could make you feel how I feel right now as I'm still sitting here, almost basking in it, wanting to read everything else Ijeoma Oluo has ever wrote. Here are the most memorable parts from it ahead:
"Often, being a person of color in white-dominated society is like being in an abusive relationship with the world. Every day is a new little hurt, a new little dehumanization. We walk around flinching, still in pain from the last hurt and dreading the next. But when we say "this is hurting us," a spotlight is shown on the freshest hurt, the bruise just forming: "Look at how small it is, and I'm sure there is a good reason for it. Why are you making such a big deal about it? Everyone gets hurt from time to time" - while the world ignores that the rest of our bodies are covered in scars. But racial oppression is even harder to see than the abuse of a loved one, because the abuser is not one person, the abuser is the world around you, and the person inflicting pain in an individual instance may themselves have the best of intentions."
The chapter on privilege is probably the most lasting one in my mind right now. It discusses how every individual has some sort of privilege and it's important to not be defensive or angry when someone asks that you check your privilege, since this is something that everyone needs to internally examine about his/herself to help better understand others who differ from you.
"I recommend practicing looking for your privilege at first when you are in a neutral situation. Sit down and think about the advantages you've had in life. Have you always had good mental health? Did you grow up middle class? Are you white? Are you male? Are you nondisabled? Are you neuro-typical? Are you a documented citizen of the country you live in? Did you grow up in a stable home environment? Do you have stable housing? Do you have reliable transportation? Are you cisgender? Are you straight? Are you thin, tall, or conventionally attractive? Take some time to really dig deep through all of the advantages that you have that others may not. Write them down."
"Being privileged doesn't mean that you are always wrong and people without privilege are always right - it means that there is a good chance you are missing a few very important pieces of the puzzle."
"I hated school cafeterias. Nothing lets you know that you're going to die alone like when you try to find a seat in a school cafeteria and everyone avoids eye contact like you are walking flatulence." - This really made me laugh, but good god, I've never agreed with something more.
When she describes her experience going to a scholarship conference for promising students of color: "Not once in the two days I was at the conference did anybody make fun of my name. Not once in the two-day conference did anybody even glance at my hair. Not once in the two-day conference was I aware of the loudness of my voice or the size of my ass. Not once in the two-day conference did anybody question the academic achievements that had brought me there - we were all there because we were smart kids who had worked very hard. For two days I got to feel like the majority of my classmates had felt almost every day, like a complete human being. I don't know how to describe what those two days were like for me except to say that I hadn't known before then that there was so much air to breathe." - That last line. My god, that last line.
"It is not your job as a person of color to educate people on their racist actions, please remember that, but it is always your right to stand up for yourself when you choose to."
When her eight year old son perfectly explained why he didn't want to say the pledge of allegiance: "Because I'm an atheist, so I don't like pledging under god. I don't believe in pledging to countries, I think it encourages war. And I don't think this country treats people who look like me very well so the 'liberty and justice for all' part is a lie. And I don't think that every day we should all be excited about saying a lie."
I'd never heard of the phrase tone policing before, but I have experienced it (never realizing there was a term for it): "Tone policing is when someone (usually the privileged person) in a conversation or situation about oppression shifts the focus of the conversation from the oppression being discussed to the way it is being discussed. Tone policing prioritizes the comfort of the privileged person in the situation over the oppression of the disadvantaged person."
"If you are white, remember that White Supremacy is a system you benefit from and that your privilege has helped to uphold. Your efforts to dismantle White Supremacy are expected of decent people who believe in justice. You are not owed gratitude or friendship from people of color for your efforts. We are not thanked for cleaning our own houses." - OOOOOOO MAN, that last line. Love it. Love this woman.
If I'm not making this book sound amazing, then I'm truly sorry to do it such a disservice. Literally every person, from every walk of life will benefit from reading this book. It should be mandatory in classrooms, handed out on sidewalks, in all of the waiting rooms, I can't express how it made me feel inside. Or how it could help so many people, especially if you're sitting there thinking, "I'm already an enlightened, good person." I was you! I even read a tiny bit about this book before reading it and thought, "Yeah, I'm sure it's good, but I doubt I'll really get anything out of it." You're allowed to be an idiot like me who thinks like that, because I swear even if it's something small, every person stands to benefit from even reading a few chapters.
Thankyouthankyouthankyou to one of the best women I know, Marla, for recommending it to me and a million thank yous to Ijeoma Oluo for having the sensibility, understanding and brilliance to write it.
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Springfield Confidential by Mike Reiss - A Review
Available on Amazon
Available on Amazon
I've been waiting forever for this book to come out, and it didn't disappoint. Although it's touted as a Simpsons book, it's actually half Simpsons/half Mike Reiss biography. And, I mean, I'm completely fine with that. I met him at a reading/signing last month in NYC, and he was a super nice man. Best parts ahead.
On the first page, "Welcome to the humiliating world of professional writing." - Homer
I had no idea he worked on the movie Airplane II, I loved that movie! Didn't know he created Teen Angel, either, I don't really remember that show too well but I do recall liking its Halloween episode.
The time they asked George Takei to guest star in the Marge vs. the Monorail episode and he declined and said, "I don't make fun of monorails." That made me laugh so much for some reason, apparently he's "an impassioned fan of public transit."
When asked the question, "What do you say to people who say the show has gone downhill?" His response is perfect: "I love this question because no one ever asks, "Why has the show gone downhill?" It's always, "What do you say to people who say the show has gone downhill?" You're not fooling me. I'm still offended. It's like asking, "I'm not saying your sister's a slut... but what do you say to the hundreds of guys who say she is?" Here are the facts: TV shows age like people, and each episode is like a birthday. Many shows die in infancy. You can syndicate a show after seventy-two episodes - just like seventy-two years is the average life expectancy for an American man. When a show makes it to one hundred episodes, or a person makes it to a hundred years, that's cause for celebration. Our show is a 658-year-old man. And you're asking why it's not as cute as it used to be? We're lucky The Simpsons can still pee."
His answer to the question of, "When will The Simpsons end?" is perfect: "My response is always the same. Stop asking. It's rude. It's like saying, "Grandma, when are you going to die?" She doesn't know, and she doesn't want to think about it."
The episode Holidays of Future Passed was initially supposed to be their final episode back when they thought they were going to stop the show, but then they got renewed, so I've really gotta go back and re-watch that one.
He also worked on the movie Ice Age and I loved him saying this: "I went to a park in Kiev that was filled with statues of Scrat, the Ice Age squirrel who's always pursuing an acorn but never quite getting it. I asked a Ukranian woman why they loved Scrat so much. She said, "He teaches children that life is hopeless."" Hahahah, that's so great.
Okay, looking back on the book, it's probably 75% about The Simpsons and 25% about Mike Reiss. I think I'm just a greedy person when it comes to Simpsons stuff. In any case, great book!
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The 10 Best Summer Episode
I'm a big fan of summer episodes of TV shows. I think it has to do with the fact that I hate summer so much - so if I can watch other people enjoying it from the comfort of my physically cooler living room, then that brings me pleasure. Makes sense to me. Here are my very favourite ones to watch.
1. Beverly Hill 90210, season 3, episode 2, "The Twins, the Trustee, and the Very Big Trip": Brenda decides to go to Paris for the summer with Donna, leaving her best friend Kelly to stay in town her boyfriend Dylan. That final scene of Brenda driving away while Kelly and Dylan get a little too chummy has always been a favourite of mine for some reason. Don't leave Brenda! That bitch is gonna steal Dylan! And that asshole is gonna cheat on you!
2. The Simpsons, season 7, episode 25, "Summer of 4 Ft. 2": The family goes away for the summer, and Lisa decides that she wants to become cooler. The whole episode is about how she tries to change her identity and is pure magic. I could watch this one on a loop forever.
3. Bob's Burgers, season 3, episode 3, "Bob Fires the Kids": Bob fires the kids in an attempt to make sure they have happy childhood memories. The kids try a bunch of summer activities and end up hating each one and it's the best.
4. Seinfeld, season 5, episode 21, "The Hamptons": Honestly, there are so many great things about this episode: the ugly baby being "breathtaking," shrinkage, Hamptons tomatoes, lobster poaching, I love this episode so much.
5. Saved By The Bell, season 3, episode 23, "Cut Day": Everyone takes the day off school since it's cut day, except for Zack who can't because he'll get suspended if he misses one more day. So he spends the day ducking in and out of class because he bet Slater that he could get away with doing both.
6. The Simpsons, season 4, episode 1, "Kamp Krusty": WON'T apologize for having numerous Simpsons episodes in here. This one is great because yes, it's early Simpsons, but also because it's just nice as hell to see kids hating summer camp since I always did and growing up, that wasn't the norm response.
7. The Simpsons, season 6, episode 1, "Bart of Darkness": Okay, this is probably the best one on the list. The Alfred Hitchcock references, the broken leg in the summer, the pool mobile, I love this episode. Everything about it is perfect.
8. Full House, season 7, episode 1, "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night": The girls return home from summer camp and can't stop talking about it, to the annoyance of the guys. They return to the camp to take a rabbit back to the woods and realize that it's a lot scarier than they recall. The whole episode is great. Man, Full House was way better than Fuller House. Slowly realizing this.
9. Sex & The City, season 5, episode 8, "I Love A Charade": The women go to the Hamptons for a wedding. The pool scene and the final one with Miranda and Brady are my favourite moments of this one.
10. Melrose Place, season 4, episode 34 "Dead Sisters Walking": Honestly, I can barely remember most of the episode but the ending?! My god. I remember seeing this right before school ended, so that's really why I'm putting in this summer category. Even if you have watched ZERO of these videos I've posted on here, you have to watch this one. One of the best endings to a season OF ALL TIME.
That's the list! I'll probably re-watch all of these this week since now I'm really jonesing. God, that Melrose Place one still gives me chills. (This one too!)
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This song is everything to me right now.
No Longer A Problem With Apu
So last week I went to an event for The Simpsons writer Mike Reiss to promote his new book, Springfield Confidential: Jokes, Secrets, and Outright Lies from a Lifetime Writing for The Simpsons. And during the Q&A, someone understandably brought up The Problem With Apu by Hari Kondabolu.
A few responses have been made by the show, one from Hank Azaria and one, seemingly, from the show itself in a episode that aired earlier this year (a response that people really hated). So when broached about the subject, Reiss had a bit more to say.
Apparently a couple years ago in 2016, season 27 to be exact, The Simpsons did Apu’s last episode. It was called Much Apu About Something. The summary of the episode is that Apu’s nephew, Jay (voiced by a Utkarsh Ambudkar), takes over the Kwik-E-Mart when it’s destroyed and changes it into a Quick & Fresh. He modernizes it and when Apu protests, Jay insults Apu for being a stereotype. Dennis Perkins of The A.V. Club said about the episode, "About Apu’s nephew Jamshed (or Jay, as he prefers) turning the Kwik-E-Mart into a health food store, might reference a beloved episode about Apu’s dignity in the face of Springfield’s hairtrigger xenophobia, but it’s equally a referendum on the character of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon himself.”
But the real thing that stood out from the event I went to was when Reiss stated that apparently this was the last time Apu has appeared in a speaking scene since that episode. They (the writers and Hank Azaria) decided it was time to retire the character, in a matter of speaking. Why this went unacknowledged until now is unclear to me, but the main point here is that they literally saw that it was terrible that this racist impression by a white actor had gone on for way too long, and rectified it. Reiss writes about it in detail in his book and ends the chapter with, "We'd hate to lose a beloved character from the show. But times change, and maybe after three decades, time has run out for Apu."
There are only two things that I’m angry about right now.
The fact that I didn’t realize this issue was already resolved on the show since I pride myself on being a huge fan. (Living in a cable-free home is the culprit here, but as always I'll keep buying the seasons as they come out.)
The fact that Hari Kondabolu has gained any kind of notoriety because of The Problem With Apu, since this was no longer an issue even before he filmed this documentary.
I really don't think Lisa’s MEH response above was supposed to be taken as a serious response to this documentary (and can I say real quick that I hate referring to this as a documentary since it's 49 minutes, I can't explain why that bothers me, I'm sorry). I think it was meant to infer that, 'If you knew anything about this show, you’ll know that we already handled this problem.' Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I interpret it now.
And not to completely hate on Hari Kondabolu, but I should’ve realized something was wrong with this guy when he aligned himself with that sad little group of “everything-after-season-ten-sucks” losers who literally haven’t seen decades of a great, great show. And look, I get it, it makes sense to me that this man would successfully stir up this shit since it's emblematic of this age we’re in right now where dragging something great to get your two minutes is a totally justifiable move, since it works. It just makes me mad.
I wouldn't be in such a huff about this if HK didn't end it the way he did, challenging what the writers "were going to do about this issue" when the issue was already dealt with.
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The Best of June
It's insane that June is over. It's even more insane that I'm keeping my promise and doing another one of my monthly wrap-up posts. So many things to talk about. Let's begin.
Do you remember how I said the HBO show Barry was good but not that good? Well, I finished the first season and the season finale made me realize that it's a good show. So there.
On the first of the month, I went to the Noguchi Museum in Queens for the first time. Tip: the admission is free if you go on the first of the month. And I actually liked it! Something really calming about the whole place.
Nathan, Baby Dog and I went to Atlantic City for a few days since Nathan was doing shows at the Borgata. Great hotel. Even better pool. We saw a free screening of Ocean's Eight (MEH), walked along the boardwalk, and took BD to the beach for the first time. I know that maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal, but it was because she loved it. Also, my best friend Harmeet made this great collage.
My Dad turned 95 so we threw a big party that was great. I made a few desserts (Fresh Strawberry Cake, Chocolate Banana Cream Pie, and Peanut Butter Nutella Cheesecake Bars), but I think the clear winner were the cheesecake bars (although the longer the pie stayed in the fridge, the better it got).
I read an article awhile ago about how Chrissy Teigen uses Aquaphor on her elbows to keep them soft, so I tried it out and she's 1000% right. I used to use the Life brand Vitamin E cream found in most Shoppers Drug Marts, but Aquaphor is eons better (although it does get on everything when you use it and doesn't really absorb as good as other creams may). But still. I've only been using it for a few weeks and I'll never go back. Elbs are crazy soft right now.
I can't believe I haven't already told you how much I've been in love with Larabars lately. Actually, only one flavour 'cause the rest suuuuuuhuck. The Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip one is the only one worth a damn, and I only know this because I've tasted 90% of their flavours.
This insane basil vinaigrette is something that I've been putting on everything lately (spinach, chicken, carrots), I can't believe I'm only now learning of its existence.
Many people have hounded me to watch The Good Place, so I did, and okay - I get it. It's a good show. I watched the first season, but I didn't think it was anything crazy special at all. I mean, I'm happy for the people who love it, but maybe leave me alone, I think I'm good!
I finally tried hot pilates and it was... no different from regular pilates. Why do people try to make it sound so much more intimidating? Do people even do that or was I just building it up in my head? Either way, it's so doable for anyone so if you're in any way intrigued, then try it out.
While I was at my parent's house, my brother Gary introduced me to jackbox.tv - which is essentially a digital board game that you can play with people in the same room as long as you have a TV and everyone has their own phone. And the games are actually fun (like Drawful and Fibbage). They're also sort of perfect if you're looking for something to do with friends/family when you're having people over.
Tim Hortons now has poutine. HOW DID IT TAKE THIS LONG FOR THIS TO HAPPEN is the real question here. My verdict? They should call it a wedge poutine. I know, I'm being a pain, but I'm not wrong. Calling something a regular poutine is saying that regular French fries are being used in said poutine. So when wedge potatoes are used instead? You need to declare that shit. I'm being nit-picky here clearly because this is important. That being said, this wedge poutine was fantastic. Which shocks me. Tim Hortons has been putting out some shady products over the past few years, so for them to use real curds and a crazy decent gravy? Whoa.
Won't You Be My Neighbor? came out and I saw it and cried right alongside every other person in that theatre. And here's the thing: I really think everyone should see this movie alone. I'm a big champion on people going to the movies alone, always have been. I just feel like you can really enjoy a movie without the element of having to deal with another person. Does that sound dumb? I feel like it's important to experience things like that alone since it allows your thoughts and reactions to be completely uninterrupted by someone else. Anyway, the movie was great, so many parts were perfect and I recommended absolutely everyone to see it.
I saw Hereditary twice, not because I'm some kind of maniac, but because I went the first time with some friends and then saw it again because Nathan hadn't seen it and that was our date night for the month. I thought it was a pretty good movie! I don't get why so many people hated it.
I went to Wonderland and it was great, as always.
I re-watched the summer classic Now & Then that's inspired an upcoming post about summer television episodes that always make me happy to re-watch, so watch out for that.
Baby Dog has had a pretty decent month in that she's gone to two dog cafes, Boris & Horton in the east village and Chateau Le Woof in Astoria. I think I preferred the one in the east village mostly because there are small laptop-friendly tables in the dog area, and the general setup was a little more welcoming to dogs and owners.
This white bean rosemary soup is the best soup I've had in ages. I ground up some dried rosemary instead of using fresh and it was still insanely good. Have to remember to keep this one in the recipe rotation.
Ate at Campagnolo in Toronto with some friends and everything was reeeeally good.
I finished reading The Duplass Brothers book and had some thoughts over here.
Whether you're a Lindy West fan or not (you should be), this is probably one of the best short pieces I've read in such a long time.
I feel like I've been in a fried chicken mood these past few months and I just ate a great fried chicken sandwich at The Penrose on the upper east side. Remember how I was complaining about how bad The Spotted Pig one was? Yeah, I was right. THIS is how it's supposed to taste.
I also stopped by Two Little Red Hens, which is a short stroll from The Penrose, since I've been hearing about that place for years. I sampled a few small things, but the standout winner? The cupcakes. And hear me right. I'm not a cupcake person. I make fun of cupcake people. I don't believe in buying cupcakes because they're so incredibly easy to make and they taste the exact same as ones you can buy at any overpriced "cupcake shop." But these were different. These were somehow both airy and luxurious. No idea how they did it. I only had the mini Boston cream pie cupcake, so maybe it's only that specific flavour that tasted like God himself came down and whipped that batter. I'll have to go back, try others, and then really let you know.
I finally ate at Bocca since I really wanted to see that parmesan wheel and it was good. Nothing crazy to write home about, but good!
I made my yearly visit to The Met, and let me tell you. Some changes have been made. First of all, they have "updated" their admission policy. It's only New York State residents now who are allowed to pay their "suggested admission" - everyone else, ie. tourists, must pay $25/per person. And while I could rant about this for days and how stupid it is, I will not. The Met can definitely fuck right off, though, for the record. The only good new thing that they've implemented is this.
I initially went to see this year's rooftop exhibit, but the rain forced me to change my plans and settle for the Heavenly Bodies exhibit indoors. Here are some highlights.
In larger news, I've cancelled my Ipsy membership. There was one main reason and it’s best described by my friend Julia’s Instagram story that you can view over here.
Whoa! Look at all that stuff! Excited to see what July will bring...
(If you have any interest in last month’s roundup, it can be found here: May 2018.)
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Like Brothers By Mark Duplass & Jay Duplass - A Review
Available on Amazon
Available on Amazon
I've been excited for this book to come out for at least a year. Mainly because Safety Not Guaranteed is in my top five of movies, and also because I continuously insist that everyone in my life see Baghead every October (it's not a Halloween movie, but it's perfect for that time of year). These brothers are so talented and really funny (when they were on The Mindy Project especially), so there's every reason in the world that this book should be great. And it was!
But the weird thing is, I can't list out my favourite parts for you, like I always do. There weren't specific lines or stories or paragraphs that I thought I needed to include here. Forgive me for sounding aloof, but it was moreso the vibe of the book that I really enjoyed. It was unlike anything I've read before in that it focussed on two things solely.
1. It's basically a how-to guide if you're an aspiring filmmaker and you're trying to learn more about that business, with advice for pretty much every situation you'd be in if you're trying to get started.
2. It explored the relationship and bond of their brotherhood. And I mean bond. These men have such a specific relationship that seems insanely intrinsic to their writing process and well, their living process. Is living process even a term? It isn't, but in their case that's the only way to describe it. These brothers are tight. The way they write and talk their closeness and the positive and negative effects of that are all complexly described in these chapters.
There was however one thing that I had to look up when they wrote about it - this apparently great scene from The Karate Kid II that comes out of nowhere in an otherwise terrible movie. They talk about how they watched this scene and everything changed, and they realized that one scene can absolutely change a movie and how they were both blown away by it. Anyway, after that description I obviously looked it up and whoa. Dead right. Here it is below.
All in all, really great book. If you're at all interested in making movies or if you're just fans of The Duplass Brothers in general, then you'll definitely get something out of reading this one.
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Maybe I say this a lot, but this is definitely one of the best covers of all time.
“I can lament for hours with female friends about bodies and insecurities and the ways we’ve been socialized to make ourselves small and what bullshit it is that our value increases the smaller we get, as though we would be priceless if we didn’t exist at all.”