Nathan’s show in The Globe and Mail today!
Kancel The Kard***ians
I’ll be completely honest with you. I’ve bought a waist trainer. I’ve tried the Kylie Skin sunscreen. I have a set of KKW lip liners. Years ago, I even bought a blazer from the Sears Kard***ian Kollection (even I winced at that admission). I’m embarrassed by all of these purchases because I should have known better. I bought them because my brain sometimes tells me that what the Kard***ians are selling is real and attainable. Embarrassingly enough, in the past I have looked to their bodies as inspiration to starve myself. I haven’t bought their shitting teas or the diet pills, but at certain points of my life of course I considered them because of the sheer influence of these people who seem to have it all. Over the last fifteen years, how did we ever get onboard with such a deeply vapid, insecure, fatphobic family that profits off of the insecurity of others?
I’ve never been impressed by their empire because they have never offered us anything of value. I’d assume people started watching their show because it was enjoyable to watch hot, mean people act like privileged morons. It was supposed to be entertainment. The show tied in with the emergence of Instagram (which turned out to be the absolute worst coincidence) and it gained momentum. It produced people who weren’t stars, but wanted to be so badly that nothing else mattered. Each year, more viewers, more popularity, which led to more surgeries, more falsities, more endorsements, more credibility. A family that started out as normal (they weren’t, they were rich even in the beginning), turned into something no one could have believed could happen. It’s the same structure that catapulted Trump into office, we refused to look away from a train wreck. And this one was a beautiful train wreck.
The show became so popular because to a typical viewer, it was frivolous, messy, even fun and it also looked attainable. Even now, we continue to think that we could have these lives, if only we tried harder. That’s why we buy the lip kits. That’s why we think Khloe knows anything about denim. That’s why we learned how to over-contour when Kim showed us how to.
And of course you can argue that that’s the industry. Market a product, sell a product. There isn’t anything wrong with that idea. The part that is wrong is that this family has sold us an idea that harms us on a daily basis. The idea that our value and worth should be determined by our appearances and bank accounts. We’ve been brainwashed into believing these women hold the answers to changing our own lives. The lies behind their “working hard” mentalities are so ingrained in our perception of them because that’s constantly what they’re telling us they’re doing.
At the core of it all, we shouldn’t be idolizing people we do not know. We should not be defending them as if we know them. They show us snippets of their extravagant lives and demand praise. They are on completely different planets than we are in terms of wealth and status, so why must we also be subjected to hearing (endlessly) about their lives? If you make a certain obscene amount of money, you should have to be silent. At least for awhile. Until you’ve proven that you can be trusted with our ears. Stop telling us what to look like, what to buy, what will make us “better.” We glorify their wealth and power in a way that we actually believe they’re smart people with our best intentions at heart.
The best thing of all is when anything negative is said about this family, we’re supposed to have empathy because they’re “real people too.” And pathetically enough, I do have empathy for them at times. It bums me out to see a 24 year old who looks 35 because of the severe psychological damage her family has done to her self-worth. It bums me out that fans feel sorry for these women who certainly do not care about our personal well being. It bums me out to see women who endlessly Photoshop and alter their images because of their addiction to their bizarre understanding of “perfection.” It bums me out to think of the normalization of young girls changing themselves because of the opinions of others instead of looking inward.
This family is truly untouchable. They’re an embarrassment to North American culture, and people continue to praise, love and celebrate them. As I said before, there’s something so Trumpish about all of it. These women continue to show you who they are, they ignore the harm they’ve done, and continue to profit. No one expects them to apologize or alter their behavior because they don’t acknowledge that there ever IS anything to apologize for. Any criticism of them is put into the category of negative talk. The next time I’m arguing with my boyfriend, I should just back out of the room and claim, “I refuse to engage in your negativity!” - apparently that’s all you need to say to avoid real consequences for your actions and words. With a defense like that, it becomes completely acceptable to distance themselves from anyone who has serious problems with the destructive culture that they’ve capitalized on. It would be a genius strategy if it weren’t completely tragic and devoid of actual understanding and growth. Evidently, those qualities can’t exist in a family with extreme wealth and no moral center. If you challenge or criticize any of these women, you’re labeled simply a hater. You’re told, “As a woman, why would you take down another woman?” When you’re harming society on a daily basis, you’ve left me, a fellow woman, with no choice.
These are millionaires who literally share their lives with the public and get paid for it. No one is asking them to be perfect, this family disgustingly encourages (and profits on) the idea that you need to look a certain way to matter. They have the resources to do whatever the hell they want. They have attempted to destroy the lives of anyone who has crossed them… does that not seem insane? The amount of power we’ve given to stars of a reality show? These people do not deserve your sympathy. There are things in the headlines at least once a week about how fucked up this family is. They have taken “any press is good press” to an entirely whole new level.
Recently, for example, with Kim at the Met Gala. It is sick to proudly announce that your disordered eating made you fit into a dress. It’s profoundly sad and deeply unhealthy to promote your unwellness as an accomplishment. I would feel sorry for her if it weren’t so enraging. Imagine having all the money in the world and your main focus in life is your appearance? You can change lives with your power, influence and money, you can do anything you want and you choose vanity? Wild. Yes, it’s her body and she can do what she wants with it. My problem lies in the complete ignorance of her influence on others OR in the knowledge that she knows exactly what she’s doing and gets off on deliberately saying dumb shit that she knows we will talk about.
So what is the solution here? The only one I can come up with is out of sight, out of mind. I have every family member blocked on all socials, I have their names muted, I have the names of their partners muted. At the moment, it’s the only way that I can find some peace in a world that holds them in such a positive light. We idolize their lives, possessions, relationships, and anything that we assume to be real life, when it’s just a calculated experience perpetuated by deeply insecure, powerful women. We’re encouraged to want their lives. Some of us even root for them, even though they’re complete strangers. Smaller stomachs aren’t the answer. Private jets will not fix you. Excessive surgery and wealth will not make your life happier. This family’s purpose is to sell you ideas and things that you do not need. Whether it’s the body you don’t have, the wealth that you don’t need or the power that will not give your life meaning.
Of course their show didn’t end, they wanted more money and created a new one. They can and we let them. It doesn’t hurt me if you watch or follow them, but I think it might hurt you, whether you realize it now or not. (Yes that sounds condescending - it is. Condescension is all I have now to offer anyone who supports these people.) I’m talking about them right now and it’s what they want. If that family is talked about, they win. They’re the real life Candyman. Is it even possible to get rid of them? Probably not. Not anytime soon, for sure. But they can be made to be invisible, at least to this hater’s eyes.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
The Best Tweets of May 2022 So Far
April Activities 2022
Yes, I’m late on the monthly post but there are approx. three people who read these posts so WE’LL ALL LIVE. Here’s what went down in April!
NATHAN’S TV SHOW TRAPPED PREMIERED! It’s available only in Canada on Bell Fibe TV1 but I have a link to it if you’re interested in watching and you’re not in Canada (message me about it). So wildly proud of how good it is and I promise you’ll love it.
I wrote about seeing the great Birthday Candles on Broadway.
I did Nathan’s podcast again and we talked about the Netflix show Old Enough and whether or not you can question women.
I talked about visiting the beautiful New York Transit Museum and why you should too.
I came across this wonderful Kurt Vonnegut letter.
I should have loved this recipe for lemon orzo with parmesan and peas, but it was definitely missing something. Maybe a basil vinaigrette should’ve been mixed in? Maybe some grilled chicken? There are so many recipe blogs now that everything has become so boring and bland.
I went to Hudson Yards for the first time and it’s… a lot. I had no idea there was so much going on in that area. Had drinks at Peak with Jessie mainly for the view and it was lovely! If you find yourself shopping in that area, a drink up there should definitely be on your list.
I looked through the new Half Baked Harvest cookbook and there might be some decent recipes in there (like the rosemary chicken salad with bacon shallot vinaigrette or the lasagna alla vodka or the balsamic stuffed mushrooms with basil and orzo). Will I buy it? Time will tell. Buying a new cookbook is such a commitment.
I went to the antique store No Particular Hours finally and it was a little disappointing. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I figured that since it was only open on the weekends it’d be a bit more exciting? How does this logic make sense? I’m not sure. In any case, it’s nothing special. I think antique shops might only be good in the suburbs.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Easter candy is EONS better than Halloween candy. And the Dove milk chocolate peanut butter eggs give you a reason to live. But that being said, the Lindt mini eggs completely sucked. There’s a weird powder on them that didn’t seem normal, the Cadbury ones are waaay better.
Baby Dog and I went to Central Park because everything is in bloom and it’d be a sin not to go and see it all.
Things I Watched:
The House of the Devil: uuuuugggghhhh, words can’t express how terrible this was. I can’t stand when directors who aren’t Alfred Hitchcock show up in their own movies. It always seems desperate. I might officially hate Ti West (god even that name, I cringe writing it).
Speaking of awful things, I did a brief hate-watch of some seasons of Entourage for some reason. What’s wrong with me?
Also rewatched some of The League and it really doesn’t hold up after all these years. Every scene with Jason Mantzoukas is magic and Andre (Paul Scheer) is by far the best character, but other than that it’s definitely not worth a rewatch.
Euphoria: I watched all two seasons of it at once and loved Kat & Ethan (until she was awful in the second season to him), obviously loved the idea of Lexi & Fez, and I kind of hate Rue & Jules. I just can’t stand Jules. The last two episodes of season two especially? So messy. Love mess.
I saw the Lizzo SNL and these two sketches were by far the funniest ones: the Black Eyed Peas one and the Venga Bus one.
Life of Kylie: do you remember this sad attempt at a show? It was on while I was getting my nails done and just wow. Apparently money can’t stop you from being boring. (Also, small side note: if these people weren’t absolutely wretched, I would feel immensely bad for the awful face work that Scott has had done recently. Someone forced a clip of their new show on me and it’s shocking that bad plastic surgery can still be achieved even if you have millions. Sad.)
Old Enough: love how low maintenance this is, perfect show, no notes.
I attempted the first season of Atlanta and only got through the first three episodes. I do want to watch that Trinidadian funeral episode from this season though because I’ve only heard good things (from one person, my brother Robbie, but that’s enough to spark my interest). I don’t think I’ve ever seen any show attempt to show what a Caribbean funeral is like and I’d love to see if they got it right.
Bao: Pixar is really incredible sometimes (I’m aware that we all know this already). I feel like all moms would love this short.
Turning Red: Okay, so I’m going to have strong opinions about a movie based in Toronto. And here they are. No Canadian has ever said the word “hoser” to any other Canadian. Can we all just accept that and move on? It’s embarrassing. Also, when the mother over-pronounced the word “Toronto” you could immediately tell that little to no research was done on this movie. It takes place in 2002 and the $5 bills they showed were the new ones that definitely came out after 2002. And the birthday cake Timbits they mentioned came out in 2014. Am I a loser for pointing these things out? NOPE! How hard is it to research a movie with a budget of millions?! I’M not the problem here. And look, all that being said yes it’s a good movie. It’s a real “call your mom” movie.
We’ve been making homemade iced green tea for about a year now, but I started getting flavoured green tea and it’s taken things to a whole new level.
I’ve never even heard of the Canadian singer Virginia To Vegas, but I’m obsessed with the two songs betterman and selfish.
I will not stop re-buying these pocketed leggings from Aerie. So damn soft.
I went out to a winery in the Hamptons (Macari Vineyards) with my friend Diana and what a great time we had. Sometimes I forget how good it feels to leave the city for a day.
Nathan and I saw American Buffalo on Broadway with Sam Rockwell (what a compete fox) and what a fucking party. It was so good, that man is incredible, I love that theatre (Circle in the Square), I can’t recommend it enough. This was the first Mamet play I’ve ever seen, so I was already excited. The set is incredible, everyone did so well, and we managed to get lottery tickets through TodayTix that were amazing seats. GO GO GO.
Real fast: if you find yourself in Richmond, Virginia then you have to go to the Hotel Greene to play mini golf INSIDE this gorgeous, old hotel. Nathan did it while he was there for shows and it looks incredible.
Things I’m looking forward to: I’m definitely going to go see part two of the new costume exhibit at The Met, Stanley Tucci’s second season of Searching For Italy is finally airing so I can’t wait to see that, this might sound stupid but Ina Garten is in Europe for two weeks and she’s posting in her stories about her favourite places and I am enthralled I can’t wait to hear about them, and I must visit the new restaurant Le Gratin inside my precious Beekman.
If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in March over here and you can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
Kurt Vonnegut Letter
In 2006 a high school English teacher asked students to write to a famous author & ask for advice. Kurt Vonnegut was the only one to respond and his words are too good not to share. (It also reminds me of how this man was filled with good advice.)
The Best Tweets of April 2022
A Visit to The New York Transit Museum
Some days you wake up and think, “Christ… another day?” and it is on these days that you should get up and do something you’ve always wanted to do. ENTER THE TRANSIT MUSEUM!
It’s absolutely wild that this was the first time I’ve ever been here, it is now definitely in my top three favourite museums of New York. It should really just be called the train museum though because that’s what it is. “Transit” might be the most boring word in the history of language. Also, how cool is it to have the museum itself be inside the abandoned Court Street station?
Can you even imagine riding around in that bus (above)? So f-ing elegant.
Those photos (above) are of the now closed City Hall Station that I vow to visit one day. They do tours of the station every few years and I can only imagine how beautiful it would be to see in person. (Yes, I know that you can get glimpses of it if you stay on the downtown 6 train as it loops back around to become an uptown, but it’s not the same. I want to be out on that platform and ROAM damnit.)
On the ground floor of the museum, there are tons of photos and advertisements from old transit ads as well as old ticket booths and replica buses.
And the downstairs area is where it gets really fun.
Trains from different eras line both sides of the platforms and you can walk in and out of them.
If I can be honest here, it feels insane to be able to walk through history. You feel every era of each train. The coldness of the ones from the 70s, the decadence of the ones from the 20s, it’s unreal. The second best part of this place? The subway ads.
There aren’t enough ads these days that scare children into caring about safety.
I can’t recommend this museum enough. With kids, without kids, go high, go after the farmer’s market nearby. Just go. Such a good time.
Open Fridays - Sundays, 11am-4pm, advance tickets required.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
New Podcast!
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
Birthday Candles on Broadway
I haven’t loved a play like this in a very long time. It’s extremely sentimental, but I love sentimentality. The play (by Noah Haidle) is about a woman (Debra Messing) baking the same golden butter cake for herself over 90 birthdays, which we live through with her in the course of the 90 minute play. In one sentence, it could be described as a play about the preciousness of life. You experience the births, deaths, mistakes, triumphs and everything that we all have in common.
The fact that it’s 90 minutes is insanity, it’s so heavy but nuanced. Everyone in it was incredible, the set is gorgeous. I laughed, I sobbed, I can’t believe how good it was. When I was leaving the theatre, some man asked his friend what he thought of it and the other man hesitated and then said, “Cute.” I wanted to shove him down the stairs. CUTE? You moron. Shut up and go hug your mother.
So of course I HATED the review in the Times about it. The critic complained of emotional manipulation?? Any time someone writes a play with heart, this is always the complaint. I’m sorry that you’re too hollow inside to understand what’s right infront of you. People are so odd when it comes to sentimentality, most people just seem to hate it, but I adore it. What is the opposite of it? Dispassionate or practical? (I looked it up.) UGH! I’d rather die that be accused of either of those traits. Just a wildly inaccurate review of one of the best new plays in years. Take your sentimental ass to go see it immediately OR sit your practical ass down at home and live your sad life.
It’s on until May 29th at the American Airlines Theatre & tickets are available here.
You can see more posts like this on my latest newsletter.
