I don't really like bagels. There's just too much dough happening. Anytime someone tells me that they love bagels - well, I just assume they're also the kind of person who would fold their pizza slice in half and eat it like a curled up ball of dough. Why the hell does anyone do that? If you just eat the slice like a regular human, you get to have so many more delicious little bites and less of those few gross, gigantic, really bread-y bites of what was supposed to be a pizza. Never gonna understand that. But I digress.

It's not just the plethora of dough that I hate. Sometimes, it's the fact that no person alive knows the right amount of butter or cream cheese to put on a bagel. And I'm talking about professionals here. I always get too much or too little. Or it's never spread around evenly enough so then I have to dig up a knife somewhere or, ugh, use my own finger to finish the job correctly. Hate all of these things.

Now... it really doesn't seem like you're gonna trust my further opinions on the matter, but Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Company has probably the most fantastic bagel I've had in New York so far. Why? They offer mini bagels! And they're cute as fuck. They do give you a ridiculous amount of cream cheese, yes, but it's better to be over the limit rather than under (I think it's about an ice cream scoop and a half almost. A Tim Hortons employee would hurl a French Vanilla right at your face before they'd ever give you that amount of cream cheese.) But the great thing is that they have a variety of different cream cheese flavours! I tried a bacon scallion flavour that blew my face right off, it was so tasty. They also have flavours of the month such as pistachio and (this week's) Snickers! What the hell?! Yeah, Snickers.

Gotta go eat one of these bagels, dummy.