Sometimes it bums me out that I don't love the pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks at all. Isn't that a fucking sad sentence? It felt gross writing it. It feels grossing feeling it. But I'm serious, people love that fucking drink and I get jealous of that.. I don't hate the drink, I just don't think I understand why it's supposed to be a delicious thing...?

In any case, I was excited to try their new drink. Why? I suppose you could say that I desperately want to have a drink there that I absolutely crave. They have so many goddam locations that I should have something I can call my own. (I used to be all about their apple fritters in the early 2000s but then they magically stopped appearing, which is probably a good thing 'cause those guys were mad bad for you.)

ANYWAY, this drink? Sucked. The aftertaste is... fishy. Not like tastes-like-fish fishy, but just fishy in the manner that made me question, "What have I ingested and why did I finish it?"

Anyway, I think that's it. Me and Starbucks really tried to make it work, but I guess in time I'll be able to fully move on and accept our fate.

P.S. $4.50 for a small drink is highway robbery, anyway, so it would've never worked out in the long run.

P.P.S. Can we all sign some sort of petition to get them to stop adding whipped cream to 90% of their drinks? I mean, c'mon, we're not 9 years old. We don't need any whipped cream.