You know where I'm going to go with this. You must. Or you really have no idea who I am as a human being. In any case, this is what's plastered along NYC subway trains right now (below).
I've heard the phrase "beach body ready" since I was... 10 years old. I think the first time was probably in a Seventeen magazine and it has been a constant fear nestled inside my brain throughout my entire life. I think I stayed out of pools for about eight years because I was so afraid of how god-awful I thought I looked in swimwear. EIGHT YEARS. Are we all aware of how nuts that is? When you're a kid and someone's telling you (or you're reading about how) you need to look a certain way to feel good about yourself in a swimsuit, that will always and forever be fucked up.
I think I finally realized its negative impact on my life only a few years ago. Do you have any idea how sad that is that it took me so long? The idea that there are grown women walking around right now thinking, "Fuck, it's almost summer. My beach body isn't ready." HOW IS THAT A REAL THOUGHT?! If you're not yet aware, YES - your body is beach ready. It's also grocery store ready. YOUR BODY IS ALWAYS READY.
Honestly, I hope these kinds of ads make you mad, too. I really do. And not just because grown-ass women are still timid about wearing swimsuits in public, but because there's a whole fucking generation of young girls who are subjected to this same kind of nonsense that I read about twenty years ago. The fact that it's still socially acceptable to mention the phrase "beach body" makes me want to smash windows. Smash them with my thick, meaty arms.
And just for the record, you can't get me OUT of a pool these days and I'm happy that I can genuinely enjoy myself in public in a swimsuit. And if you ever wonder why I'm so keen to post swimsuit photos on my Instagram, I think it's because I was so ashamed of not looking a certain way for so long that being coerced into wanting to hide my body for so many years has made me want to embrace the skin I'm in today. Does that sound lame? I'm comfortable with that. I'd rather be lame and happy than cool and deathly afraid of a bikini.