I was referred to this book by a client who’s working on his own self-help book and I’m so glad he mentioned it to me because it’s just wonderful. SIDENOTE: Can I say here that I really don’t like the term self-help? It seems too basic of a phrase for such an expansive topic when there must be a better term for this genre of books… maybe “human improvement”? Or “mental development”? I don’t know, anything but “self-help.” It’s just such a weak sounding term.
Anyway, I’m so glad that I read it and encourage you to as well. The full title is The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work (although it stresses that this relates to work and regular life as well) so you have a better idea of what it’s about. Favourite parts ahead.
Firstly, I love the idea of opening a book and finding a short chapter of Acknowledgements as the first thing a reader sees. It’s such a great idea.
“Happiness is not the belief that we don’t need to change; it is the realization that we can.”
“I once spoke with a sleep researcher who had data to show that the more you sleep, the more gracefully you age.”
I’ve been waiting ages for someone to prove this because I think sleep is so important. Lately I’ve been trying to get 9-10 hours each night and each time I do, it feels almost transcendent. You wake up with all the answers, I swear to you.
“Once we realize how much our reality depends on how we view it, it comes as less of a surprise that our external circumstances predict only about 10 percent of our total happiness. This is why Sonja Lyubomirsky, a leader in the scientific study of well-being, has written that she prefers the phrase “creation or construction of happiness” to the more popular “pursuit,” since “research shows that it’s in our power to fashion it for ourselves.” As all these mindset studies have shown, this is true for positive outcomes and success in any other domain. By changing the way we perceive ourselves and our work, we can dramatically improve our results.”
“We want to push the limits of possibility as far as they can go, not limit them in the way too many discouraging bosses, parents, teachers, or media stories tell us they should be limited. Sure, simply believing we can fly won’t set us aloft. Yet if we don’t believe, we have no chance of ever making it off the ground. And, as science has shown, when we believe we can do more and achieve more (or when others believe it for us), that is often the precise reason we do achieve more.”
“As William James once said, “My experience is what I agree to attend to.””
“Make a daily list of the good things in your job, your career, and your life. When you write down a list of “three good things” that happened that day, your brain will be forced to scan the last 24 hours for potential positives - things that brought small or large laughs, feelings of accomplishment at work, a strengthened connection with family, a glimmer of hope for the future. In just five minutes a day, this trains the brain to become more skilled at noticing and focussing on possibilities for personal and professional growth, and seizing opportunities to act on them. At the same time, because we can only focus on so much at once, our brains push out those small annoyances and frustrations that used to loom large into the background, even out of our field entirely.”
“Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, reminds us that “we are not imprisoned by our circumstances, our setbacks, our history, our mistakes, or even staggering defeats along the way. We are freed by our choices.””
“When we encounter an unexpected challenge or threat, the only way to save ourselves is to hold on tight to the people around us and not let go.”
So happy to have read it, definitely seek it out or even just try the daily list idea mentioned above. It’s available for purchase over here as well.