Full Disclosure: if you’re a man, you probably won’t get anything out of reading this post. It may contain some things you just don’t want/need to hear about, and you know what? That’s fine. What can I offer you instead? Perhaps this little link will do.

Okay, now onto real business. Let it be known that I have breasts. Pretty great ones, too. However, whenever I’m shopping for underwear/lingerie/what-have-you, I am always wanting to make them appear even greater.

I came across this garment called a sling at Victoria’s Secret sometime in 2011 and I use it about three times a week at least. When do I use it, you ask? When I’m in a mood to specifically feel more amazing. They’re made of nylon and spandex, I believe, and have a little bit of boning in the front. You wear it overtop your bra for added push-up magic, essentially. I know that sounds like it would feel bulky, having two things on overtop one another, but it really doesn’t feel that way at all. To be honest, I’m not sure how well it works on smaller breasts, but I implore you to try one on and find out. It makes large breasts look ludicrous. And I mean that in the most positive sense. They cost approximately $40 or so at Victoria’s Secret - I imagine that they sell them at most bra places, but it’s easiest to just find them there.

This post was half put up to tell women about slings and half an excuse to post an Adriana Lima photo. That woman? Goddam.