Tabloids

by Liz Heather in ,


When I go into a drugstore, grocery store, book store or anywhere that sells magazines, I have a little tendency that’s begun to take over my body/being. What is this tendency? I turn most (or all) the covers of tabloid magazines over, so that their back cover is what shows on a magazine stand.

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Why do I do this? I did it once a few years ago, and now I can’t really stop. There aren’t words to describe how much I loathe People Magazine. And US Magazine. And any “story” TMZ would jump to “cover”. Absolutely anything tabloid related. (Sidenote: this is my absolute favourite blog post about tabloids that I’ve ever read, written by a beautiful man who’s very funny.) This hatred has grown over the years to an extent that is almost unmanageable today. And I’m really only sharing this because it makes me so mad and I’ll feel less crazy if it isn’t a secret thing that I do anymore.

Also, I’m not talking about this now with the intent of saying that you should be doing this as well… this is a stupid thing to do. I know that. But every time I do it, I literally believe that maybe ONE less of these awful, hate-filled pieces of trash will be sold. I know that’s a naive thought, and I’m okay with that. People are allowed to read whatever they want. If they want to read these magazines that badly then they’ll turn them over and FIND the goddam one they’re looking for and then buy it. And that’s fine. BUT my feeling is that people do NOT want to buy these magazines, but are swayed by the ridiculously stupid headings and glamorized photos of PEOPLE WE DO NOT KNOW PERSONALLY.

I know now I’m really just getting into the idea of celebrity and the absurdness that surrounds it, but that’s really another topic. 

The root of this all? I don’t want to see a plethora of “post-baby bodies” or who’s getting divorced or Blue fucking Ivy’s first fetus photo or ANY kind of details on someone’s “secret wedding” — I DON’T CARE. NO ONE INTELLIGENT SHOULD CARE. Does reading this trash make me feel good about myself?! Does criticizing others make my goddam day a little easier? FUCK. OFF. 

People complain about reality television a lot these days, but these magazines are a billion times worse. It makes no sense to me why we as a SOCIETY are being encouraged to analyze and excessively compliment or condemn people we do not know. What on earth is there to gain by being so invested in the details of their lives? 

I, in no way, can fully place blame on the people who read this kind of trash (yes, they aren’t helping the problem), but since these magazines, entertainment shows, the E! network and endless awards shows are all attributes constantly occupying your field of vision and your television sets, it makes sense that they’re so popular. I doubt they’ll stop printing them, ever. I’m not trying to start a movement here, guys. But maybe, if you agree with ANY of this post, then turn over one of these magazines the next time you’re waiting in line. And maybe for one mere moment you’ll save someone the agony of having to hear about Kim Kardashian’s baby bump being compared to the size of her ass.